Not Embarrass Yourself
Once you discover the reason of "why" you make mistakes, it is easy to not to feel embarrassed. In fact, the easiest step is simply to acknowledge that it is OK to make mistakes. We all do, so we do we spend so much time pretending that we don't? It is because we're too busy trying to meet that standard set for us when we were too young to understand any different. Viewed from that point of view, we're often a bunch of people trying to meet standards set by authority figures–only these figures exist in our minds! Here is a way to escape the bind.
Contents
Steps
- Accept that making mistakes is a perfectly normal part of life. Everybody makes mistakes; some people are just better at hiding it than others but mistakes always ooze out somewhere, no matter what. It is a far healthier approach to accept that mistakes are a part of life and to get on with things.
- Learn rather than yearn. So you mucked up? What did you learn from it? Or are you too busy feeling sorry for yourself, thereby clothing yourself in embarrassment? Rather than seeking the shamed, guilty approach, adopt the "this is my learning experience" approach. Looking at it differently will really change your attitude and removes the sense of embarrassment.
- Take responsibility for your mistakes. Embarrassment comes because we are afraid of what others think of us and we have the impression that we appear shameful to them. First, the reality is that people don't really notice things the way you do personally; they're too busy focusing on their own concerns. Second, if you take responsibility for your mistakes, you are too busy working through what happened in a constructive way, and how to remedy it to feel embarrassed. By being responsible, you stop letting other people determine how you appear to the world you stop worrying about not causing other people problems or wronging them. Too bad should be the motto; you mucked up, now you pick up but you are ultimately responsible for how you respond and feel.
- Avoid finding all the reasons under the sun to "justify" your mistake. That not only takes time but it rakes through the matter in a non-constructive manner. Simply own up to a) having made the mistake and b) acknowledge that it is probably a nuisance/worry or/upsetting/annoying for the other person but don't say any more than that. Details are unnecessary, how you proceed from here is what really matters. There is no need for "I'm sorry"; factual statements are far more beneficial.
- Stay polite. Remember that people don't like self-troubled personalities because they have enough troubles of their own to deal with without taking on board your whining excuses. Don't take yourself too seriously; it ends up losing people's respect and that is something to be embarrassed about.
- Don't be negative about the things you can't change. Laugh about what happened to you instead of trying to hide or ignore it.
- Many times auto sabotage is a way of punishing yourself for not meeting your own expectations. Stop trying to be "perfect" as nobody can be and start living for real. Act on your beliefs rather than mulling all the time over how you could be a better person. Everyone is transforming daily, so you can too.
Tips
- Accept that mistakes are a part of our growth as human, take them in a positive way.
- A lot of your "embarrassing moments" aren't as bad as you think they are, so just don't think about it. It can often be in your response that people really take notice, such as crying, wailing, getting angry, etc. Don't attract that attention; laugh it off or simply smile. You can go elsewhere to smart about it later.
- For some people, visualization can work. It's not a tool for everyone, so don't beat yourself up over it but if it does work for you, try this: Visualize yourself doing stuff you usually screw up on a way that works as a movie, repeating it several times till it feels right.
- Think about what someone you admire would do in that situation.
Warnings
- Sometimes, trying too hard to apologize for something makes you embarrass yourself more, so take small steps and take it easy.
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