Overcome Guilt by Taking Responsibility
We all have done things that we are ashamed of. How do we deal with them so we don't have to feel guilty forever?
Contents
Steps
- Think about someone you love that did something mean to you when they were angry. Maybe you were in an argument and you called them a nasty name. Do you want them to feel guilty about that forever, or do you want them to accept forgiveness and be happy? If you love them you probably want them to be happy.
- Accept the fact that we cannot change the past. We can only change the future.
- Learn from our mistakes. We did not control our actions and it hurt people. Now we would like to control our actions in the future, because we don't want to hurt people like we did in the past.
- Accept the fact that we all make mistakes every day. Some mistakes are small, some are big.
- Tell someone. Bring it out into the light of day. Shame is debilitating. Confront it head on by telling someone what you did.
- Find a friend who will tell you that you can accept forgiveness. If we have grown up without a lot of forgiveness then we need to hear someone else tell us that we are forgiven.
- Decide whether it is a good idea to make reparations. Should we go back and apologize to people? Should we go back and repay people for their losses? The answer is usually: "Yes, we should make reparations, unless it would do more harm than good."
- Do the opposite of what you did bad. If you stole, give something to a charity. If you lied, tell the truth to someone when it hurts. If you cheated, treat someone with special respect.
Tips
- Understand that by accepting responsibility, you are not making your problems go away; in fact you may still be dealing with the consequences of your past mishaps. Instead, you should consider accepting personal responsibility as a way of learning from your mistakes and giving you the tools to no longer make the same mistakes.
- Find a book at the library by someone who did something terrible and moved beyond it. For example, a biography about Chuck Colson, he was President Nixon's right-hand man. He served 7 months in jail for his crimes against the USA. Now he heads an organization committed to prison reform and inmate support and rehabilitation.
Warnings
- Don't expect to overcome guilt overnight. If you have lived with guilt for a long time, it may take a while to learn how to accept forgiveness.
