Plan a Small Wedding

A small wedding has a different feel than a big wedding. It's closer and more intimate, and it allows you to spend quality time with the people that matter the most. However, you should not make the assumption that a small wedding is any easier to plan than a large one. Whether trying to avoid lavish spending or planning a smaller guest list, planning a small wedding is no easier than planning a big one.

Steps

Designing a Small Wedding

1. Think about the benefits of a small wedding. Having less guests does not make your celebration any less meaningful. On the contrary, it gives you more time to spend with people that matter to you and your partner. Having fewer people will make your day less stressful, allowing you to focus on what really matters -- loving and committing to your partner. Other benefits of small weddings include:
   • Time to talk to guests beyond a simple "hello."
   • A chance to involve more people in the events.
   • Less expensive reception and ceremony.
   • A more intimate, close-knit event.
2. Set a budget for your wedding in advance. You will not have a small wedding if you don’t establish what “small” is. Sit down with your spouse and wedding planner and decide on a concrete amount that you are willing to spend. You can then keep this number in mind as you begin purchasing things for the wedding.
   • If you don't have a budget in mind it becomes much easier to spend thousands more than you expected. Choose a number and stick to it.
   • In the United States the average wedding costs $25,000. That said, the majority of American couples spend $10,000 or less on a wedding.
   • Each guest at a wedding costs, on average, $250 more at a normal sized wedding.
3. Know all of the areas you need to plan for in a wedding. Even small weddings are, in essence, parties that you throw for your friends, family, and spouse. As such, there is a variety of problems and concerns that need to address to make sure everyone has a good time. In general, you need to think about:
   • Venue for the wedding (church, registrar, etc.)
   • Reception
   • Entertainment
   • Flowers
   • Food, drink, and wedding cake
   • Photographs
   • Transport and Lodging
   • Invitations
   • Decorations and clothing
   • Gifts / Party Favors for attendees.
4. Cut out what isn't important to you. A small wedding is about trimming excess and getting rid of things you don't really need. Holding your wedding in your hometown instead of at a big destination means most people can come straight from their house. Don't like flowers? Substitute pictures of you and your spouse for the centerpiece. Look at the above list and ask yourself what is really essential. What can you make yourself? What can you limit or cut back?
   • Once you've started to trim down your wedding, make estimates about the cost of each thing you still want and compare them to your budget.
   • Remember that a small wedding is often more intimate, giving you time to be with the guests that matter instead of bouncing around to 100 people or more.
5. Plan a casual wedding theme. Small and casual weddings allow people to feel much more comfortable and close to one another. Consider ditching elaborate, classy wedding themes like lace or ivy and go for something simple, like a color. Not only do people spend less on clothing, you spend less on decorations that you will only use once. Check out sites like Pinterest, Etsy, or The Knot to browse through thousands of wedding themes on any budget to get craft ideas.
   • Remember, the theme of your wedding is not important, your marriage is.
   • Make your location a big part of the "theme." If you are getting married on the beach, for example, the sand and the surf will be much more enjoyable than hundreds of beach decorations.
   • Use what you have at home or make your own decorations. A few strings of Christmas lights, for example, will create beautiful lighting without breaking the bank. If you already have a lot of green decorations, consider making the color your theme.
6. Use flowers strategically. A tiny arrangement of flowers placed well is often as efficient as having lots of flowers everywhere. Floral arrangements can get very expensive very quickly, so find ways to eliminate or limit them to save money. Some suggestions include:
   • Use local, seasonal flowers or wildflowers instead of big, exotic bouquets.
   • Buy 1 big beautiful flower (like a rose or chrysanthemum) and use it instead of a full bouquet for a minimal but striking look.
   • Opt for pictures, art, paper flowers, or colorful fruit bowls instead of flowers for an off-beat look.
7. Wear for a suit instead of a tux. This is a good way for the groom to save money. If you already have a nice black suit, consider wearing it instead of a tuxedo. Even if you do not own a black suit, consider buying one for the wedding instead of renting a tuxedo. The cost of a respectable black suit is usually about the same as a one day tuxedo rental and you can use the suit again in the future.
8. Don't buy a wedding dress. It might sound like blasphemy, but wedding dresses are incredibly expensive to only wear once. Opt instead to borrow one from a mother, relative, or close friend. This is not only cost effective, it shows someone how much you care and begins a tradition of passing down a dress across generations.
   • More and more stores are renting out dresses now, allowing you to get your dream dress for a fraction of the cost.
9. Get your marriage license first. The only things that are truly "necessary" for a marriage to happen are two people who want to be together forever, a legal certificate, and a witness or two. Focus on that idea as you plan your small wedding. In CA, for example, a marriage license costs anywhere from $35-100, and that is technically all you need to begin your married life together.
   • You can always hold a reception later on, or separate from getting your license, in order to save money and cut costs.
   • Some scientists have found a correlation between cheaper weddings and happier couples, so remember to focus on each other, not money.

Planning Your Wedding Venue

1. Know that venue matters more than any other thing when budgeting a wedding. The average US wedding costs $25,000, but almost $11,000 of that is spent on the venue and food. You need to consider where you are having your wedding before anything else or you may end up with very little of your budget to spend on, entertainment, decorations, invites, etc.
   • Urban areas are almost always more expensive because they are much busier and serve a larger variety of couples. Even moving out to a venue in the suburbs can save money.
   • Have the wedding during the fall or winter. Popular wedding venues are not as busy during these times and they often have lower prices as a result.
   • Saturday is the most expensive day to get married.
2. Reserve your venue well in advance. The sooner you start booking places for the wedding the better your chances are you'll find the perfect spot. Many popular wedding destinations, like churches and parks, book up between 9-12 months in advance, so you need to be quick if you are heart-set on a spot. That said, small weddings thrive at unique, off-beat, and smaller locations, so don't limit yourself to the "classic" wedding spots. Call around town and ask about:
   • You town park.
   • The beach.
   • A friends' backyard.
   • A local farm, bed and breakfast, or ranch.
   • Museums, the historical society, or state parks.
3. Talk to the venue in advance about any regulations, fees, or needs. Some venues require you to use their in-house catering company for your food. Others may have a limit on the number of guests allowed or have a minimum number of guests. You need to be in touch with the venue in advance before you put any money down to avoid unpleasant surprises later.
4. Ask a friend to officiate the wedding for you if you are not at a church. The American Marriage Ministries will ordain almost anyone, making them legally able to marry a couple in the United States. What's more, registering is free and can be done almost instantly online. Skip the big service or officiants and have someone close to you run your service for an intimate and cheaper wedding service.
   • Be sure to ask someone 3-4 months in advance, giving them time to register and prepare for the service.
5. Get friends to fill in for photographers, videographers. A good photographer can cost you several hundred dollars, but a small wedding can benefit immeasurably from a friend's touch. Ask a friend with a nice camera if they are willing to spare 1-2 hours of the party to take pictures and offer to pay them for their service. Not only will you feel comfortable being photographed by someone you know, you limit the number of people at your reception and save money.
   • Make sure the photographer puts the pictures online using Snapfish or Flickr so that all the guests can see them later.
6. Arrange for low-cost DJ instead of a band. Bands are great, but they cost extra money to pay for each member. DJs, however, are much cheaper and can play an almost infinite number of songs right from their laptops.
   • If you don't care much for music, make a wedding playlist with your spouse. You can pick the songs that you love and change them on the fly as guests arrive.
   • Consider asking a musical friend to "DJ," by making a playlist with them and asking them to put on important songs for you like the "First Dance."
7. Plan the table placement. Most guests prefer assigned seating over choosing where they need to sit, and it is your job to plan things. This may seem stressful, but you need to remember that people are there to enjoy your special day, not complain about who they are sitting next to for dinner. Make a simple drawing of your reception with all of the tables roughly laid out. Start by planning your table with the bride, groom, parents, and bridesmaids/groomsmen. Then add people to tables so that everyone knows at least 1-2 other people. It is okay if they don't know everyone -- this is their time to make a new friend.
   • Once you've assigned the seats, make a small card at each seat telling people who sits where.
   • For small weddings with under 50 people assigned seating may be too rigid to be fun. Give your guests some freedom and try one big table or an informal "eat where/when you want" catering style.

Inviting Guests

1. Know that each additional guest will cost you more money. While the specific dollar amounts will change from wedding to wedding, more people will always lead to a more expensive wedding. Most catering companies charge couples per person for food and waiters, so more people require more tables, chairs, and a bigger room. On top of that every guest needs an invitation, save the date, and a party favor after the wedding. These costs will quickly pile up with every extra guest.
   • Additional costs for each guest can range from $80 per person (small, low-key wedding) to over $300 per person (extravagant wedding).
2. Set a cap on your invitations. Much like when you are budgeting, you should start the invitation process by asking yourself how many people you want at the wedding. Small, intimate weddings usually invite anywhere from 20-50 guests (the average wedding has 140 guests or more), but you need to plan the number that works for you. Some things to keep in mind include:
   • Is this just for family and close friends, or should you invite aunts, uncles, and coworkers as well?
   • How many bridesmaids or groomsmen do you want? 2-3 of each will keep costs down.
   • Who do you "need" to invite? Should you really spend your special day with people you've only seen once or twice over the past year?
3. Make a list of the "essential" invites. You and your spouse should draft a list of the 10-15 people you strongly want to invite to the wedding. This will be your jumping off point for the invitation list and will usually contain parents, grandparents, the best man and the maid of honor. There will likely be some overlap between you and your spouse as well, which frees up space for other guests.
   • Keep this list as small as you can by reminding yourself "this is a small wedding." You want your time with people to be meaningful, not rushed.
4. Make your invitations yourself. For a small wedding, creating personalized wedding invitations is not only easy, it lets your guest know that you care about them. Instead of spending money buying and printing costly invitations, purchase some nice stationery from your local art store and write out a simple invitation by hand.
   • Look online for ideas on how to customize your invitations, from adding decorations and pictures to writing messages or poems.
5. Get your guests involved in the wedding. A smaller wedding gives everyone the chance to get involved. You can afford to spend more time with everyone instead of rushing around the party, so get your guests involved in the wedding to keep them entertained and give your party and intimate, tight-knit feel. Ask you guests to:
   • Read a line from a prayer.
   • Submit pictures to a slideshow.
   • Pick 2-3 songs for the DJ to play.
   • Share a story of the bride and groom in a wedding book/video.

Ordering Food and Entertainment

1. Ask about the cost of food per person if you are using a catering company. Food costs vary wildly, but more often than not they are calculated by the number of guests. You will be asked to supply a guest list to the catering company, which will then return to you with the total cost. More food, of course, costs more, but the variability amongst different caterers will be stunning.
   • A small wedding in Minnesota might cost $25 per person whereas a Manhattan wedding might cost over $150 a person. Know your cost before committing to a caterer.
2. Think about a buffet for a simpler wedding meal. Don't feel like you need to offer a handcrafted, 5-star meal to make your wedding memorable. Having servers drastically increases the cost of your food, and most people won't mind getting up to chose their food themselves. Skipping servers and a waitstaff will keep your wedding small and on a budget.
3. Cook your own appetizers. This may seem like a hassle, but it is a great touch of personality for your party that can save hundreds on food costs. If you have a small wedding it becomes even easier: choose a recipe that you can make and freeze later, then have someone you trust heat them up before the reception. Some recipes to try include:
   • Mini-pizzas
   • Quiches
   • Make a Cheese Pastry
   • Crackers and cheeses
   • Fruit spreads
4. Ask your venue if you can bring your own drinks. Whether you tell your guest to B.Y.O.B. or you bring all of the alcohol yourself, skip out on the exorbitant prices of the bar and bring your own drinks. While this may seem cheap to some, the ability to personalize the menu will make your wedding night special and intimate in ways that are difficult with big weddings.
   • Invent a "couples cocktail" to serve at your wedding.
   • Buy bottles of wine from grapes grown the year you met or got engaged.
   • Limit hard alcohol, as wine and beer will last longer and cost less.
   • Alternatively, set up a "cash-bar," which is when the venue supplies its own bartender for free/cheap but charges your guests for each drink.
5. Order a small wedding cake. Don't forget that, by the time it comes out, most people will have already eaten and the cake is often destroyed by the bride and groom's "first cut." The wedding cake is mostly a showpiece, and you'll be lucky if even half of it is eaten. Knowing this, skip the 5 tier cake and go for something simpler.
   • Smaller weddings, however, give you the chance to share your cake with everyone.
   • If you require extra cake you can always have a sheet cake baked so that there is an adequate amount for all. Serve the wedding party from the fancy cake and the rest of the guests from the sheet cake.

Additional Wedding Resources

Doc:Wedding Budget Chart,3 Month Wedding Action Plan

Tips

• Remember that a wedding is not about material things -- it's about getting married to the person of your dreams. Keep this in mind as things get stressful during planning.

Warnings

• Many weddings are paid for by parents, not the bride and groom. Be sure to communicate your desires with whoever is paying for the wedding frequently and work with them to make the day perfect.

Related Articles

• Reduce the Cost of Your Wedding Cake

Sources and Citations

See also

• Work for a Wedding Planner
• Be a Great Groom
• Be a Wedding Planner
• Choose a Wedding Chapel in Gatlinburg, Tennessee
• Stop Your Parents from Controlling Your Wedding Plans
• Choose a Rustic Wedding Dress
• Plan Your Wedding Cake Tasting
• Avoid Buying a Counterfeit Wedding Gown
• Accommodate Wedding Guests with Dietary Restrictions
• Set Up a Wedding Escort Card Table

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