Practice Non Attachment

In our lives, we form many attachments and allegiances. Some of our attachments can be good for us, motivating us to be our best. However, if we are not careful, some of our attachments can lead to our undoing from the effects of change, loss, betrayal, or tragedy.

Practicing non-attachment enables us to control our emotions and feelings in relation to the attachments in our life, so that we don't allow the attachments to take control of us.

Steps

  1. Identify why you believe that you have an attachment problem. Were you once a strong adherent to a belief or, Build Your Faith that you have since recanted? Do you still seek out a person who has either abandoned or stopped caring about you? Are there things in your life that you have allowed to define you? Or have you suffered a great personal tragedy or a loss?
  2. Avoid forming unhealthy attachments. It is often best to take adopting new beliefs and friendships slowly. Do not waste all of your energy by throwing all of your emotions into a single person or new creed; investigate slowly to avoid disappointment.
  3. Learn how to deal with certain attachment problems. Having attachment problems can hamper your progress in life. These need to be dealt with to ensure that renewal can occur and you can continue to grow. The following are some of the more common attachments that hold people back:
    • Changed beliefs. Maybe at one point in your life you championed a cause or considered yourself an adherent of something that you now think on with displeasure or disdain. Previously held beliefs are just that; previously held. You should be focused on ensuring that your current beliefs are morally justifiable instead of expending wasted energy worrying about what you previously thought. If your old beliefs were especially hateful, you should attempt to redeem yourself by helping those that you hurt.
    • Relationships with uncaring or toxic individuals. You should let them go. Realize that all of the feelings of mutual friendship or even love that you felt for this person were founded on shaky ground. This does not mean that you never had good times with this person, but it does mean that you should leave the entire situation alone until the other person realizes his or her wrongdoing. (Note: This does not apply to Recognize Signs of Domestic Violence or abusive relationships. Seek protection, counseling and legal help for these situations.)
    • Attachment to things. Many human beings have a tendency to allow our possessions to define us, and ultimately what we own can entrap us. If you cannot move for clutter, cannot change your lifestyle for fear of not being able to accommodate the treasures you've accumulated, it's time to detach yourself. Letting go of an attachment to things frees you up to live with purpose rather than falling back onto the imagined comfort of possessions.
    • Personal tragedy or loss. You may have suffered a tragic experience in your life, and you may struggle with clinging on to the past or blaming yourself. Grief is a natural part of life, but it is not to be wallowed in. Remember that only one time truly exists, and that is the present. By clinging to the past, you let go of the present and never get to see the future. If you are not careful, it is easy to blame yourself or assume that you cannot go on. There are plenty of other people who need your Give Encouragement and love, and just because it was too late to change your situation doesn't mean that you cannot help others in similar situations.
  4. Stop fearing loss. Attachment to a job, particular people, possessions, or beliefs can mire us in the fear of losing these anchor-points in our life. When things do go wrong, as inevitably they will at times, our grief can stymie our growth and cause us to grind to a standstill. Accept the moment for what it is and believe that what you have now is enough. At the same time, be proactive to prevent yourself from being a sitting duck. Should things not be working out in a current situation, make plans to change your own part in the situation, such as sending out job applications, getting a makeover, or changing your study course, etc.
  5. Befriend yourself. Your self-worth should come from within, not from what you perceive that others think of you. Attachment to others gets unhealthy when you're continuing to be around people who are toxic for you just because you're afraid of being alone or left out. By befriending yourself, you won't fear the times of being alone as much, and you will also open up to being available to a wider group of people rather than attaching to merely a few. And strive to maintain healthy relationships with the people you do interact with daily, giving one another breathing space and not expecting too much of others.
    • Interact with new people and stay open to connections. While this shouldn't be about detaching yourself from one person just to immediately replace the former person with another, being open to the possibilities allows more people into your life and less potential to cling to them.
  6. Stop living an illusion. Although it still matters to strive for a better you, a better tomorrow, acceptance of what is now is vital to living in the moment, in order to avoid the illusion that your happiness or fulfillment relies on contingencies not yet realized. Don't attach yourself to hopes and dreams in a way that excuses fixing things that aren't working in your life right now. Accept things as they are now and work on what you'd like to improve on with calmness and centeredness.
    • An obsession with the future is an attachment as much as is an obsession with the past. If your head is in the future, you're missing the now and how well you live right now makes all the difference for tomorrow's outcomes.
  7. Learn to let go of an attachment to feelings. Feelings are powerful but if we let them control us, we are imprisoned by wayward masters. Accept that sometimes we will feel pain and loss, but we can choose to suffer endlessly or to learn and move on. Feelings are better out than in, so expressing them will help you deal with them more productively than bottling them up inside. Write in a journal, write poems, leave anonymous blog posts, write a letter and burn it, or talk to your invisible or even best trusted friend. Find outlets for your feelings so that they don't serve as unhealthy attachments.
  8. After you have helped yourself, tell others about how you live. Letting others gain your trust and going slowly in adopting new beliefs is the most practical non-attachment philosophy that you can practice, and you do not have to be a hermit to do it. Teaching others about non-attachment can be helpful no matter what their situation or beliefs. You can talk about it with people, write blogs, tweet; just keep open about your experience so that others can learn too.
  9. Understand that all things must come and go.

Tips

  • Be sociable, friendly, and outgoing. It is your goal to avoid emotional pain, not to be a hermit. This type of non-attachment philosophy is meant to be geared towards practical application. Being active in solving your troubles is the best pathway to alleviating loneliness and depression, more than anything else.
  • Attachment is a subconscious feeling of abandonment. Sometimes to fill an emptiness of something you want, that attachment becomes all you see. Be wary of any first encounters and triggers because you will grasp harder if you feel threatened.

Warnings

  • People should be able to notice the confidence and happiness that radiates from you. There will be no need to explain yourself if what you have practiced and preached shows positive results. People will automatically see the benefits for themselves.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Practice_Non_Attachment&oldid=289499"