Practise Polyamory
Many people will find that it's possible to love more than one person at once. Because monogamy (and serial monogamy) are most visible in society today, it is presumed to be normal.
Other lifestyle and relationship choices are less well-known, but often successful. One of these is polyamory, literally meaning 'one who loves many people'. In such a situation, it is possible for you to be seeing many people, all of whom are aware of and happy with the relationship and your other partners.
Steps
- Understand that it is possible to love more than one person at a time. How you feel about one person does not have to affect how you feel about another. Similarly, if your partner finds that they love someone else, their feelings for you may not change. The latter can be hard to accept, but with time you can become more comfortable with this idea. It's important to have an abundance mentality about love.
- Understand that polyamory is not always open. Most people associate polyamory with open relationships, in which people can initiate relationships with anyone else without needing permission from their partner. It is also possible, however, for more than two people to be involved in an exclusive relationship, where they limit their relations to that specific group.
- Establish your own set of ethical guidelines. Are you willing to date someone whose partner doesn't know you're seeing them? Are you willing to treat all partners equally, or would you prefer to have a "primary" partner? Do you feel that you or a partner can/should be given the right to veto? These questions will probably come up along the way, and should be considered seriously to avoid hurting yourself or your partners.
- Be honest and open with your partner(s). Communication is essential to an open relationship. If your partner knows what you're up to and who you're seeing, they can tell you about any problems they might have with it and you're both less likely to get hurt.
- Respect your partner(s). Their feelings must be important to you, and with a complicated arrangement such as this you will have to be more aware of how they feel about situations. Try not to assume that you know how they will react, and be willing to compromise.
- Be aware of jealousy. To say that it is unnatural to get jealous in an open relationship would be unrealistic - everyone gets jealous sometimes. Bear in mind that jealousy is often a sign of a deeper problem that needs to be considered, and you will have to learn how not to be jealous.
- Understand that this is often frowned upon by society. In choosing the polyamorous lifestyle, you are going against the grain and you could come up against some opposition. Relationships where there is one man married to more than one woman (polygamy) are associated with cult leaders. Relationships that involve same-sex relations will encounter an extra layer of scrutiny. If there are children involved, learn to expect criticism.
- Be open about your lifestyle choice when socializing. That way, no one can get the wrong idea, and problems at the start of relationships will be easier to navigate.
- Learn to manage your time. Some partners may be happy to see you every couple of months, and some will prefer to see you every couple of days. You'll need to be good at giving your time to each of your partners, so that you're all happy.
