Prepare Your Children for a Visit to the Doctor

Visiting the doctor can be a scary experience for children. There are unfamiliar sights, sounds, and smells in a doctor's office. You can help your child prepare for a visit to the doctor by talking to them about what will happen and what to expect. Ask them about their fears and worries.[1] Role play with a toy doctor kit. Take along their favorite toy to hold. Remind them that you will be there at their side throughout the entire doctor visit. A relaxed parent helps a child stay relaxed.

Steps

Telling Your Child About an Upcoming Appointment

  1. Tell them about the appointment a day or two in advance. You might think that keeping your child’s doctor’s appointment a secret until the day of will keep them from making too big a deal of it. However, springing a doctor’s appointment on your child might actually make it more stressful than it needs to be. Letting your child know they have a doctor’s appointment coming up a couple days in advance can help lessen their anxiety about it.[2]
    • Tell your child about the appointment only one or two days in advance. If you let them know too long in advance (a week, for example), small children may forget by the day of the appointment and for older, school-aged children, a week might give them too much time to worry and fret over the appointment.[3]
    • Tricking or failing to inform your child about the appointment can make them distrust both the situation and the doctor.[4]
  2. Be positive. Providing your child with information about their doctor’s visit can help them worry less and keep a good attitude towards the doctor.[5] When you’re talking about the visit, stay positive. Let them know that the doctor is a friend who wants to help ensure they are healthy so they can continue to learn and play. Promoting a positive picture of the doctor and the exam can help increase your child’s comfort level, confidence, and their willingness to cooperate with the doctor.[6]
  3. Tell the truth.[7] Your child may have lots of questions about their upcoming visit. Do your best to answer these questions, no matter how many they have, as honestly as you can. Don’t just gloss over questions or lie to make things easier on yourself. For example, while it may seem like telling your child the exam won’t hurt would make it easier on you both, your child may feel betrayed when they find out this isn’t true during the examination.
    • If you aren’t sure about an answer, tell them so. You probably won’t know everything that is going to happen during their exam so if they ask you a question you’re not sure about, tell them you don’t know. For example, say, “I don’t know if you’ll have to get a shot. The doctor will figure out what you need to feel better after they examine you.”[8]

Explaining the Process of Visiting the Doctor

  1. Explain the purpose of the examination. One of the first questions your child might have after learning about their upcoming doctor’s appointment is why they have to go. If it is a routine check-up, you can say something like, “All healthy kids go to the doctor to make sure they are growing and developing like they should. The doctor will examine you and ask you some questions to make sure you are healthy.”
    • If the appointment is to diagnose an illness, try saying, “The doctor needs to look at your body to figure out how to fix what’s been bothering you and help you feel better.”[9]
  2. Describe what the office looks like. As a general rule, giving your child as much information about their upcoming doctor’s appointment as possible will be most helpful in easing any fears or worries they might have. This includes describing the building, waiting room, and exam room to them. If you can, tell them what they will see, what there is to do in the waiting room, where they’ll sit in both the waiting room and exam room, and another building the doctor’s office might remind them of.[10]
  3. Let them know they’ll have to wait. Your child may feel especially anxious while waiting for the doctor to see them. Explain to them ahead of time that it is normal to wait to see the doctor and tell them how the waiting room might be set up and what they might be able to do there, like play with other children or new toys. Knowing what to expect and understanding that this is a normal process can help take away some of the worry they may experience.[11]
  4. Walk them through a typical exam. As expected, the actual examination is probably going to be the scariest part of your child’s doctor’s visit. It can help them cope if you walk them through what a normal examination will entail. Some of the typical parts of an examination include:
    • Getting their blood pressure taken
    • Having their temperature taken with an ear thermometer
    • Using a tongue depressor to hold their tongue down and look in the back of their throat
    • Looking at their eyes and ears
    • Listening to their heartbeat (on both their chest and back) with a stethoscope
    • Tapping or pressing on their tummy to feel what’s inside
    • Weighing them and taking their height
    • Tapping on their knees to check their reflexes
    • Looking at their feet[12]
    • A potential quick look at the genital area
  5. Explain special exams or procedures. If your child is going to the doctor for a special exam or procedure, it can be difficult to explain the procedure to them because you might not even know what all it will entail. When you call to make the appointment, you can ask to speak to a nurse or doctor to find out some general information about what will go on during the procedure.
    • If the procedure might be uncomfortable, embarrassing, or painful, be honest with your child. Let them know it could be unpleasant for a moment, but don’t go into too much detail, and remind them that you will be there the whole time to comfort and protect them.[13]

Easing Your Child’s Anxiety and Worry

  1. Get them involved. Your child will probably have lots of questions about their appointment and what the doctor will do during it. Allowing your child to be involved in the process of gathering information for their appointment can help ease their mind. In addition, they will likely be reassured by your active role in the process. Try some of the following ways to get your kid involved:
    • Ask them to contribute to a list of symptoms you will give the doctor.
    • Ask them to write down any questions they have for the doctor. They can then give this list to the doctor to read or ask them the questions themselves.
    • If your child is going to the doctor for a recurring problem, have them help you list the treatments they’ve had previously and document which have worked and which haven’t.[14]
  2. Address your child’s fears. It is completely normal for children, and many adults, to have fears about going to the doctor. Talk to your child about any fears they may have and do your best to ease their worries about these fears.[15] In doing so, address their fears in words they can understand, always be honest, and don’t make promises you can’t keep. Some of the most common fears include:
    • Fear of separation—being afraid they’ll be separated from their parent during the visit
    • Fear of pain during the exam
    • Fear of the doctor—some children may take a doctor’s serious demeanor, speed and efficiency, and detached attitude as a sign that they are very stern or don’t like them
    • Fear of the unknown—your child’s imagination can run wild when they don’t know what they are going to the doctor for and they can blow regular check-ups or minor illnesses way out of proportion
    • Some children may also experience feelings of guilt when going to the doctor. They might believe that their illness or the exam is some sort of punishment for wrongdoing. Let them know that going to the doctor is a normal occurrence.[16]
  3. Role play. Acting out the part of the doctor and patient can help small children understand what will happen during a visit to the doctor. You can use dolls your child has or a play medical kit to go over what the examination might entail and to demonstrate some of the typical parts of an examination.[17]
    • In addition to introducing your child to some of the equipment they might see, it can also help to describe how this equipment will feel. For example, let them know that it is normal for a blood pressure cuff to feel tight around their arm,[18] and that the stethoscope might feel cold.
  4. Read books about going to the doctor. There are also many children’s books available that help explain and illustrate the process of going to the doctor. Reading these books and talking about them to your kids can help ease anxiety about going to the doctor. There are also a number of videos that can help your child understand the appointment process.
    • It might be tough for your child to articulate their fears about the doctor, but if a character in a book is experiencing the same worries, your child may be able to talk about what is worrying them more easily.[19]
  5. Treat your child like normal. Your child’s fears about their doctor’s visit might get worse while they are in the waiting room. This increase in their anxiety level might cause them to act out or misbehave. You can help them acclimate to being in the waiting room by holding them to the same standards of behavior you do at home or in any other public place. Holding them to the same standards as usual will let them know this is just another routine part of their daily life.[20]
  6. Distract your child while you’re waiting. You can help take your child’s mind off their upcoming exam or procedure by distracting them with an enjoyable activity while you wait. Try doing a puzzle or letting them play their favorite game on your phone. Hopefully this activity will take your child’s mind off the exam and make them feel more relaxed.
    • This strategy can also work during the exam or procedure. For example, try having a conversation with your child while they are getting a shot to distract them from what is going on.[21]

Tips

  • Take along a favorite toy, stay relaxed, and try to make the most of your time together at the doctor.

Warnings

  • Remember, these strategies might not work for every child. You know your child best so do what works best for them and for you in preparation for the appointment.

Related Articles

References

  1. ↑ [v161075_b01]. 11 April 2019.
  2. ↑ [v161075_b01]. 11 April 2019.
  3. ↑ http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/doctors-prepare-for-visit.pdf
  4. ↑ http://www.texaschildrensblog.org/2015/04/helping-children-prepare-for-a-trip-to-the-doctors-office-a-prescription-for-success/
  5. ↑ [v161075_b01]. 11 April 2019.
  6. ↑ http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/doctors-prepare-for-visit.pdf
  7. ↑ [v161075_b01]. 11 April 2019.
  8. ↑ http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/doctors-prepare-for-visit.pdf
  9. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dr-visits.html#
  10. ↑ https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-health-news/preparing-your-child-for-a-trip-to-the-pediatrician/#.WIaAufkrKt8
  11. ↑ http://www.texaschildrensblog.org/2015/04/helping-children-prepare-for-a-trip-to-the-doctors-office-a-prescription-for-success/
  12. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dr-visits.html#
  13. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dr-visits.html#
  14. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dr-visits.html#
  15. ↑ [v161075_b01]. 11 April 2019.
  16. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dr-visits.html#
  17. ↑ https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-health-news/preparing-your-child-for-a-trip-to-the-pediatrician/#.WIaAufkrKt8
  18. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dr-visits.html#
  19. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dr-visits.html#
  20. ↑ http://www.texaschildrensblog.org/2015/04/helping-children-prepare-for-a-trip-to-the-doctors-office-a-prescription-for-success/
  21. ↑ http://www.texaschildrensblog.org/2015/04/helping-children-prepare-for-a-trip-to-the-doctors-office-a-prescription-for-success/

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