Pretend to Be Asleep

Maybe it’s your turn to get up with your newborn. Maybe your mom doesn’t pester you when she thinks your catching some Z’s. Maybe your roommate always wants to talk when she comes in late, and you just want some quiet time. Whatever the reason, we all pretend to be asleep every once in a while, but there are more nuances to pretend sleeping than lying still and fake snoring.

Steps

Breathing Slowly and Regularly

  1. Slow your breathing. Why do you think people look so peaceful while they’re sleeping? When you’re asleep, your breathing slows down slightly. [1]
    • You can practice a breathing exercise to relax and slow down your breath. Try breathing in through the nose for a count of four, and then out through the nose for a count of four.[2]
    • When you are sleeping, your heart rate also slows. Although you can’t intentionally slow your heart rate like you can your breathing, relaxing will help to naturally slow your heart rate.
  2. Breathe at regular intervals. When we’re awake, our breathing patterns are irregular because of a variety of factors, including speech, exercise, and emotions. When sleeping, our breathing patterns become more regular. [1]
  3. Alter your breathing slightly if you are pretending to sleep for a while. Though your breathing naturally slows down when you are in non-REM sleep, your breathing pattern varies and increases again when you are in the middle of your REM cycle. [3]
    • Only do this if you are pretending to sleep for a couple of hours. At which point, you might actually have fallen asleep and will not have to worry about this.

Moving and Sounding Like a Sleeping Person

  1. Occasionally shift positions. Most people move around during the night to find a more comfortable position. Try moving from your back to your side.
    • If you know you have a position that you usually favor when you’re sleeping, stick with that. You want your pretend sleeping to emulate your real sleeping.
  2. Snore slightly. Don’t do a big, growly snore, or you’ll give yourself away, but some soft snoring can’t hurt.
    • If you know you never snore, don’t start now. A person observing you will be able to pick up on the fact that something is different.
  3. Sleep talk. If you’ve been known to occasionally talk in your sleep, why not really hit the ball out of the park and mumble a couple of words?
    • People who sleep talk are not aware that they’re talking, and often will say things that don’t make sense.[4] You can have fun being creative with your sleep talking! Say something absurd, like, “I forgot to take the potatoes down to the river!”

Controlling Your Reactions to Disturbances

  1. Wake up if someone tries to awaken you. It is a dead giveaway if you refuse to "wake up" no matter how many times someone calls your name or shakes you. People who are really sleeping wake up from disturbances.
  2. Don’t smirk. If you start smiling when someone is trying to wake you up, you will give yourself away. Instead, groggily moan and act irritated that you were woken up.
  3. Act disoriented and confused if someone tries to wake you up. It takes a little while for people to regain their clarity when they are woken up suddenly.
    • Have you ever woken someone up by calling them? Think of how you could tell they were sleeping. They probably seemed disoriented and their voice may have been muffled. [5]
  4. React slightly to loud noises. If someone else is in the room with you and there is a loud noise, like thunder or an ambulance, move a little bit so the other person can tell your sleep was disturbed.
    • You don’t have to jump out of bed wide awake. We sleep through loud noises all the time, and we may never remember them, but often our sleep is slightly disturbed.

Tips

  • Don’t squeeze your eyes shut. Sleeping people appear very calm and restful. Your eyes should be gently closed.
  • Once in a while, twitch your finger or roll over.
  • It is especially convincing if you have been up late and/or have had a rough day.

Warnings

  • If you are pretending to be asleep, you might actually fall asleep. If you don’t want to drift off, turn away from the other people in the room and keep your eyes slightly open.

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/science/what/characteristics
  2. ↑ http://greatist.com/happiness/breathing-exercises-relax
  3. ↑ http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/science/what/characteristics
  4. ↑ https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-disorders-problems/sleep-talking
  5. ↑ http://scienceline.org/2008/02/ask-peretsman-sleep/
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