Resist Sexual Desires by Following Islamic Traditions

Following your sexual desires is as easy and pleasurable as eating a piece of cake, and more! But did you think someday about the consequences of having sex outside marriage? You won't have any permanent or guaranteed relation; your partner can have a relation with anybody other than you, s/he can separate from you anytime, you can't be sure that a child your partner get is from you (a man can't be sure that the baby his partner give birth to is his, since she may be having sex with anyone else). In addition, uncontrolled sexual relations (relations out of marriage) most of the time would lead to problems. So, what's the alternative?

Steps

  1. Avoid stimulating things: This includes looking at attractive and sexy figures, especially porn. Though porn and sexy figures should be the most avoided, you should also avoid looking at women. In addition to avoiding looking, you should avoid touching women by shaking, hugging, etc.. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't act normally with near relative women/girls, such as sisters, mothers, aunts, daughters and nieces, since it's acceptable to see them and touch them the proper way.
  2. Avoid thinking about sex and stimulating things, and try to fill your time with something useful. You may also register in a club, group or maybe get a job. Try not to have a lot of time alone since that could turn you thinking about what stimulates your desires (though it's recommended to have your own time where you can think about the world and yourself!).
  3. Never engage in forbidden relationships, especially those of emotional and personal nature, with members of the other sex. This doesn't mean you shouldn't contact or react with females (or males in the case of a woman) in a formal or business environment, since they are essential for society development and continuity. Also, it's very acceptable to react with your spouse when you're trying to build a successful marriage.
  4. Never masturbate: this is considered a dirty habit by Muslims and is punishable under Islamic law. If you start, you will find it very difficult to stop as it is known to be highly addictive. It will also open the door in front of you to thinking about sex and therefore wasting your life. Remember that though you may get deep pleasure when you masturbate, it's a temporary pleasure, which will turn into sadness and depression later on. There is plenty of advice available on the internet for Muslims seeking to overcome this habit. Remember that while Allah is inclined to forgive those that truly repent, this cannot be taken for granted especially by those repeatedly committing the same sin.
  5. Avoid finding yourself alone with a girl/woman, since this is the most dangerous situation which will frequently lead to an illegal relationship. Remember that Shaytan is always the third one present.
  6. Think about the guarantee promised by Islam. Islam gives you the ultimate guarantee of safety, provided that you obey its laws. Out of respect to your own family members, never look at other girls or think about them. Think about how much it angers you if someone does that to your relative or loved ones. This thinking is a very helpful way for getting rid of his bad habit.
  7. Find a worthwhile hobby, something to think about that interests you. Whenever you get any idea of this kind or you are in a situation where you may have a chance to fulfill your desires, just start thinking about that very thing or idea that interests you. It may be about your time with your best friends or a journey or about something would like to do to bring you closer to Allah swt. Just find an idea on which you can think easily.
  8. Fast to reduce sexual desires as per Islamic teachings. Ibn Mas‘ood said that he and others were there when the Prophet (PBUH) said: “O young people, whoever of you can afford marriage should marry because it is more (conducive to) lowering the gaze and more protective of the private parts; and whoever is not able to marry should fast, because fasting diminishes his sexual desire.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].

Tips

  • Remember that when you control your sexual feelings and relations, and keep it for your legal partner in marriage, you'll be more happy and more productive.
  • Act in a proper manner; avoid those badly-clothed women. This will at least increase yourself confidence and ability to resist those attractive figures.
  • Try to marry as soon as possible. Marriage is the easiest and most efficient way to get rid of excess sexual addiction.
  • You can download free Internet filters and parental control software to help.
  • Experiencing sexual desires is normal and natural, but always remember that attempting to satisfy them outside marriage in any way is forbidden in Islam.
  • Try to be aware of Allah swt at all times and think about how disappointed He would feel if you were to disobey Him in this matter.
  • Familiarise yourself with Qu'ranic texts and Islamic rulings pertaining to how we are required to conduct ourselves.
  • If you do stray beyond Islamic limits then try to recognise what you have done wrong, sincerely pray for forgiveness and resolve never to do it again.

Warnings

  • Always remember that even when alone Allah is watching and noting every action.
  • If you do make a mistake, sincerely repent and ask for forgiveness from Allah. Do not insist on continuing to do the wrong.

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