Show Your Parents You Love Them

Your parents have done a lot for you over the years and you want to show them how thankful you are. Putting your words into actions, however, may seem difficult. You want to tell them how much you love them, but may be at a loss for how to do so. Fortunately, it’s simple: by giving them your time, helping them out, and talking to them, you can let them know how loved they are.

Steps

Spending Quality Time

  1. Ask them about their life experiences. It’s sometimes difficult for a child to remember that their parents have lives, too. What’s more, it can be hard to believe that their lives didn’t always revolve around you and your siblings. Sitting down with your parents and asking them about their lives shows you care and take an interest in them. You may even learn something about them you never knew before.
    • You can begin the conversation by saying, “What was it like for you growing up?” Or you could say, “I think it’s really cool you went backpacking across Europe. What was that like?” The most valuable thing you can offer your parents is your time, and they will really appreciate your doing so.[1]
  2. Join in on a hobby. A great way to bond with your parents and demonstrate affection is by doing something they are interested in. If your parents have interests or hobbies, participate with them. Activities are much more enjoyable when you have someone doing them with you, especially when it is your child. They will appreciate you showing interest in what they like and the time you’ve taken to engage with them.
    • For instance, if they enjoy sports, strike up a game with them. If they attend a book club, ask if you can join. Spending time with them while they are doing something they love will create happy memories for all involved.[2]
  3. Cook them a meal. There’s a good chance your parents have been cooking for you your entire life. Now is the chance to turn the tables. Give them the night off and cook a meal from the heart—even if it’s macaroni and cheese!
    • Don’t worry if your meal isn’t perfect. Your parents won’t mind if your cuisine isn’t five-star. They will only appreciate the time and effort you put into meal.[3]
  4. Go to church with them. If your parents attend religious services, one of the most thoughtful ways to show you love them is to attend services together. There’s something special about sharing your faith and worshipping with others, especially parents and your children. This heartfelt gesture will surely be something they remember for a long time.[4]
    • Make it a weekly thing, if possible, to attend devotional or other spiritual meetings with your parents. You can even learn meditation together.
  5. Share your life with them. Parents, particularly after children become teens or adults, often feel excluded from their children's lives. Make an effort to include your parents in what's happening with you. This could be by sharing essays or projects you did at college, inviting them to the kids' birthday parties, or asking them for advice about dating.
    • Introduce them to your friends.

Helping Them Out

  1. Tidy up the home. If you live at home, make sure you take an active role in keeping it clean, particularly your room. But your parents will appreciate if you do the laundry, clean the dishes, and generally pick up after yourself and others. Helping to keep the home clean shows a lot of respect and it takes some of the load off of your parents.
    • If you don’t live at home, stop by once or twice a week to help out. Do a couple of loads of laundry or dishes, run the vacuum around the house, or cut the grass for them.[3]
  2. Offer transportation. You were probably the recipient of your parents’ taxi services for most of your life. Now, you can return the favor. Offer to take them to where they need to go, especially if they are aging and driving has become difficult for them. Even if they are still able to drive well, having someone offer to chauffeur them around is a sweet gesture.
    • Remember to stay respectful, especially if your parents are older. They may not like the fact that they need help driving. Asking their permission to drive them around, instead of telling them that you are, can make a big difference in how your offer is received.[5]
  3. Handle repairs. As your parents age, they may be unable to take care of their home as well as they could before. Instead of having them call a handyperson to make household repairs, offer to do them yourself. If you are unable to, hire someone yourself so that your parents don’t have to spend the money.
    • Your parents may not be forthcoming about what they need help with because they don’t want to burden you. As such, you may have to ask them directly how you can help. If they still won’t tell you, you may have to do some inspecting of the home yourself, or ask other family members if they know if something needs to be done.[6]
  4. Pay for what you can. Your parents have likely been paying for you for a long time. If you have the means, treat them when you can. Taking them out to dinner or paying for a vacation together is a great way to thank them for what they’ve done and to show your affection.
    • If you have elderly parents who are on a fixed income, pay some of their bills if you are able to. Or you can pay for groceries, expenses for their pets, or whatever you can to take some of their financial burden off of their shoulders. Or, if you notice they are struggling, attempt to work out a plan with them to help manage their finances.[7]

Expressing Your Love

  1. Tell them often that you love them. You may assume that your parents already know you love them. Even if this is true, it’s nice to hear those three little words. Tell your parents you love them whenever you can. You may be amazed at how happy it will make them.[8]
  2. Write it down. Although telling someone how much you mean to them in person is great, there’s something about putting a pen to paper. Write your parents a letter thanking them for all that they have done for you. Having it on paper allows them to look at it whenever they want to remember your thoughtful words. It may also be easier for you to express yourself in this way, rather than saying it to them face-to-face.[9]
    • You could also write a poem or short story to express your gratitude and love. They will likely appreciate the time and effort you put into creating this gift for them.[10]
    • Another option is to send a nice e-card with a personal message if you are not the creative type.
  3. Give them a hug. Touch is the most basic form of communication among humans. As a baby, your parents comforted you when you cried. As a growing child, they may have nursed your bo-bos or caressed you after a nightmare. Unfortunately, touch as a form of affection is often lost as children grow older. Offer your parents a hug to show your love.
    • The act of hugging releases a bonding hormone that reduces stress and helps fight off physical illness. Hugging your parents more often could actually benefit their health.[11]
  4. Make them a present. No matter what their age or their children’s ages, parents usually love homemade gifts. They understand that it takes more time and consideration into making a present than it does to purchase one. Even if the present is less than perfect, they will still appreciate the gesture.
    • You could paint your parents a picture, make them a card, take a portrait of them and put it in a frame, or even create a sculpture. Or, you can just dedicate an entire day to spend with them one-on-one.[12]
  5. Call them. If you’re away at college or otherwise living outside of the home, don’t forget to connect with your parents. A simple phone call once or twice a week to check in and let them know how you’re doing shows just how much you care about them.
    • Your phone calls don’t have to be long. A few minutes of your time is often enough. However, ensure that you are engaged in the conversation. Calling them when you are spending time with others, driving, or are preoccupied in other ways makes it seem that they are secondary. Give them your full attention and they will appreciate that you put them first.[13]
    • Talk with your parents to decide how much telephone contact you all are comfortable with. Some parents may not enjoy talking on the phone as much, while others might like a weekly chat.
    • Be sure to check what times work for them.

Tips

  • Tell them that you love them without expecting anything in return.
  • Don't only say you love them when you want something.
  • Respect them.
  • When you see that the house is a mess or the dishes aren't done, don't wait until they tell you to clean. Do it before they tell you. They'll love and respect you for that.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/04/23/6-ways-to-speak-well-to-your-loved-ones
  2. ↑ https://familyshare.com/family/sharing-hobbies-with-your-child
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 http://www.ahealthiermichigan.org/2016/07/22/5-simple-ways-to-show-your-parents-appreciation/
  4. ↑ http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/life-issues/relationships/honoring-your-parents/how-can-you-honor-parents-when-you-feel-they-dont-deserve-it
  5. ↑ https://familyshare.com/19963/5-ways-adult-children-hurt-their-parents-without-realizing-it
  6. ↑ https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-help-aging-parents-149102.htm
  7. ↑ http://www.bankrate.com/finance/taxes/8-steps-for-managing-parents-finances-1.aspx
  8. ↑ http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/04/23/6-ways-to-speak-well-to-your-loved-ones/
  9. ↑ http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/tip-letter-to-your-parents.aspx
  10. ↑ https://www.rochester.edu/parents/assets/pdf/LetterstoMomDad_2011.pdf
  11. ↑ http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2016-02-03/the-health-benefits-of-hugging
  12. ↑ https://zenhabits.net/the-six-greatest-gifts-you-can-give-your-loved-ones/
  13. ↑ http://blog.gradguard.com/2012/10/18/5-ways-to-remind-your-parents-you-love-them/
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