Sibling Proof Your Room

The best way to protect your room from siblings is to address the problem. Try talking calmly and seriously with your parents and/or your siblings. Set boundaries everyone can agree on, and enforce them with gentle reminders. Try to understand your siblings’ points of view, and encourage them to understand where you’re coming from as well. You can always lock up certain items to protect your privacy, but the most effective method is prevention – so try to get your siblings to come to a peaceful agreement with you.

Steps

Addressing the Problem

1. Talk to your siblings. Tell them nicely but seriously that you need to be alone, and thank them as they leave. Be kind. Don’t push your siblings out of your room or slam the door in their faces. Your siblings are more likely to be respectful to you if you’re respectful to them.
   • Try saying, “I like spending time with you, but I have to study right now, okay?”
2. Try to reach a compromise. Consider your sibling’s point of view. Breathe calmly and listen to what your sibling says. Think about what you can do to get along better. You won’t have to worry about the stuff in your room if you and your siblings can reach a peaceful agreement.
   • For example, don’t assume your siblings are trying to annoy you on purpose. They might be lonely or just bored. You could say, “I’ll hang out with you in one hour if you let me be alone now.”
3. Spend more time with your siblings. Despite how annoying they can be, they may only be looking for your attention. Play with them, and don’t exclude them from every activity. They might bother you if they’re feeling neglected.
   • Find a hobby that you and your siblings enjoy. For example, if you and your siblings like playing board games, you can make a plan to play board games together every Sunday afternoon.
   • Ask your parents if you can join a hobby class with your siblings. For example, you can attend a crafting or pottery class with your siblings. Having familiar people around when you’re starting something new with a group of strangers can help you and your siblings to bond.
4. Keep a box of things in your room that your siblings are allowed to use. This will encourage them to play with only what you allow them to. Consider changing some of the items in it once a week or so. Tell them that they have to clean up after themselves whenever they use it, or you won’t add new items to the bin.
5. Talk with your parents. If talking to your siblings directly doesn’t help, try discussing it with your parents when your siblings aren’t around. If you’re having a real problem with your sibling taking your things, for example, your parents may want to know about it. You can ask your parents if you could have a lock on your bedroom doorknob.
   • Try saying, “Could you give me some ideas on how to get my siblings to respect my privacy?”
   • Try asking, “Can you make a ‘knock first’ policy?” If your parents agree to a knock first policy, and your siblings forget, give them gentle reminders.
6. Get your parents actively involved. Ask your parents to have a conversation with you and your siblings first separately, and then all together as a family. Tell your parents exactly what your siblings are doing that really bothers you. Family meetings can help everyone feel heard and understood.
   • Ask your parents if you can all come up with some family rules about boundaries during your family meeting. Encourage your parents to enforce those rules if there are times your siblings aren’t following them.

Protecting Your Privacy

1. Work on solutions with your siblings directly. If you were just fighting, have a cool-down period first. Then, if your siblings are old enough to understand this concept, suggest that you make a list of solutions together that you will both agree to. For example, agree to get permission before entering each other’s rooms.
   • List which situations would make it okay for your sibling to enter your room without asking first. For instance, if your sibling is following the family pet.
   • An example of a rule is, “If I’m with friends, don’t come in.”
2. Protect your diary. In order to prevent your siblings from reading your secrets, place a lock on your journal. You can wear the key to it around your neck on a necklace, or hide it somewhere in your room. If your diary is on the computer, for example in a Word document, password protect it.
   • For example, you can hide your diary key under your mattress.
   • Don’t hide the key anywhere it could be accidentally washed with the laundry, like in a pillow case or pants pocket.
3. Hide your prized belongings. Store your favorite, valuable, or breakable items in a locked chest underneath your bed or in a closet. You could also use a cupboard with a lock to put your personal items in. If your siblings are shorter than you, hide your belongings in the closet on a high shelf so that it is out of their reach. Just be careful that you don’t drop it on yourself when you’re taking it back down!
   • For example, a filing cabinet with drawers that lock can be bought online or at an office supply store.

Tips

• Try to get your siblings to see things from your point of view. For example, If your siblings are disturbing the things in your room, try saying, “You wouldn’t like it if I touched your favorite toy, right?”

Warnings

• Don't submit to an emotional outburst around your siblings. They may take delight in annoying you if they realize it causes you to become angry.
• Refrain from breaking into your siblings' room as retaliation. This will encourage them to continue invading your privacy.
• Avoid setting up booby traps. You don’t want to accidentally prank one of your parents and get into trouble, or stumble over a trap yourself.
• Never hurt your siblings physically or emotionally.

Related Articles

• Cope With Spoiled Younger Sibling
• Sibling Proof Your Room (Teenage Girls)
• Keep Older Siblings Out of Your Room
• Prepare a Room/Bed for an Adopted Sibling

Sources and Citations

See also

• Scare Your Sister
• Get Revenge on Your Siblings
• Stop Your Little Sister from Annoying You
• Annoy Your Siblings
• Stop Fighting With Your Brother or Sister
• Stop Your Brother from Annoying You
• Get Your Little Brother to Stop Bugging You
• Ignore Your Sister or Brother
• Annoy Your Brother
• Deal With Big Sisters

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