Squelch Malicious Gossip
Hate that people are saying things about you behind your back? Stop it now. This article explains exactly how you can squelch malicious gossip st work, in school, within your own family or absolutely anywhere else. Get started at step number one below.
Contents
Steps
- Don't participate in gossiping yourself. This gives you more credibility. If someone's bold enough to make up gossip about you then they probably do it to others as well, which means they will eventually lose credibility. Don't say "Well she..." say something like "Those things aren't true, but I'll let you make up your own mind about so-and-so."
- Go to the source of the problem. Find out who created the malicious gossip or rumours and who spread it. Make sure you are totally calm before you do it. Ask why the person spread the rumour. While one person may appear to be the source, they aren't always. A lot of rumors start from one miscommunication that turns into a bigger problem.
- Live your life so that people will know the rumour is not true. Rumours are a form of social bullying and it is important that you don't let the bullying affect your life.
- Be polite to the person who spread the rumour to show that you are the better person. Even if you hate their guts don't give them the satisfaction of thinking that it affects you.
- Deny the rumor's truth to anyone who asks. If you go out of your way to defend yourself it will seem as though you have something to hide.
- Go to a higher authority (your principal, boss, or whatever) if you feel threatened. Ask to stay anonymous and report the trouble that you're having with this person. If the authority that you contacted doesn't pay any attention to your report go to a higher authority and so on.
- Make friends with some of the spreader's friends. This will help you win the battle.
- Forgive, but don't forget. After you win, the spreader will probably want to be your friend. Refuse the offer, even if you don't want to, so that people won't want to mess with you.
- Continue to live your life as if nothing ever happened.
- Don't tell everyone everything about your personal life and your personal business. Remember, be extra careful concerning whom you confide in, as not everyone keeps information to themselves; and you never know who might be hearing and looking. Try to keep a low profile. If in doubt, check with someone you trust: e.g. parents, boss, trusted friend, relative.
- Don't show the gossip-mongers you are angry, defensive, or upset. It can give them the morsels that you have something to hide. The best way is to be calm, honest, and concise.
- Never tell them to mind their own business. They might think you have something to hide, that you are being rude, or that they can get sarcastic or angry with you and say 'It is my business'. They can then spread it to others, and might press you for information even more.
- Be Confident. Even if you are not a confident person, you can always try to be one. Ooze confidence out of yourself, even in tricky situations. The key to being confident is knowing your assets, polishing them, and showing them off to the world, but remember to also be humble!
- Stand Strong in Times of Trial Even if you have had the worst day imaginable, and you really can't handle them, stick at it. Keep your cool because you know you are invincible!
- If malicious gossip, rumour spreading, and lies become severe enough, not only are they forms of bullying, they can also become Human Resources issues as well. Gossip, rumour spreading and lies can land someone out of a job and if serious, with the law as well (i.e. the offenses of libel and slander).
Tips
- Remember gossiping and blabbing does not earn you any friends and also gossiping and blabbing can cost you your friends and it can damage reputation and relationships and it can also land you in serious trouble.
- Remember if someone tells you something in confidence - Always keep that information told to you to yourself.
- Keep out of gossiping and any conversations which involve badmouthing, snide remarks, sarcasms, put-downs. (Discreetly and do a silent yawn - Meaning what they are saying is boring)
- Take heed of the old sayings 'If you haven't anything nice to say, don't say anything, don't wash your dirty linen in public, don't tell all and sundry and careless talk costs lives. If something does not concern you and it isn't your business, don't nosy and don't gossip, keep your mouth and your affairs to yourself.
- Remember, karma will come back after them!
- Rumours can really hurt but remember not to lose your cool. People will soon find something else to talk about.
- Gossip is normally based on lies, someone wanting to feel better about themselves, by hurting someone else. You're better than that, if you let it go, they'll get bored and move on.
- Use educated retorts like ,"Consider the source." If you don't use too obvious an insult, (s)he won't know whether to be insulted or not.
- Find a creative way to express your feelings. Paint, sew, write, or start a band. Just remember to disguise your feelings with symbolism so that the spreader doesn't know the way you really feel.
- If you feel that perhaps they might not be talking about you, say something interesting but untrue and non-malicious to the alleged gossip and see it comes back to you resembling the original thing first told to the alleged gossip.
- Malice is intent to harm, and malicious gossip can cause quite profound injury. If you become aware of libelous, or slanderous, deliberate suggestions that you display or otherwise possess qualities that are not your own, that are offensive or injurious to your cohort, broadly and repeatedly enough to result in your ostracization, you are advised to make a police report, that you might seek a civil orders of protection. Hire an attorney if you're able: physical injury, even life-changing debilitating havoc, attends certain types of gossip ("she's delusional", of a girl suffering anaphylaxis) in certain settings (any hospital emergency department). In cases of malice, efforts at making peace, demonstrations of good citizenship, etc cheek-turning will not resolve the problem. Your predictable behaviors may be woven into the slander, to be reified as you proceed through each step.
- Rise above. Don't say/text/email anything about someone you wouldn't want said about you. Be the person you want others to be. It may seem in any given moment that gossip allows you to fit in. But tell others outwardly that you refuse to be involved in it and watch how quickly people come to trust you.
Warnings
- Don't let the insult ruin your life.
- Avoid him/her at all times. Also avoid confrontations, but try not to look cowardly.
- Don't pay any attention to the spreader's insults. Most of the spreader's insults aren't true because, in reality, they are only jealous of you - nothing more.
- Stay calm and remember, when people ask if it's true say no and tell them that it's just a lie and say other stuff. Good luck!
- Never spout off in front of them. Always be calm even if you feel like arguing with him/her.
