Stop Saying the Word "Like"
Every language has its own vocabulary of vocalized pauses, which are meaningless words used to keep the conversation flowing smoothly. In English, these are usually "um," "er," "ah," or "you know." In North America, especially among young people, it's common to use the word "like" as a vocalized pause. This became popular with the rise of "Valley-speak," which is a stereotypical manner of speaking that originated in Southern California in the '70s. If you're, like, totally hooked on using the word "like," see Step 1 below to start speaking more professionally and stop being (like, so) annoying.
Steps
- Know how the word "like" is supposed to be used. In English, there are only two correct, proper usages for the word "like." These are:
- Similarity - "This tastes like chicken."
- Enjoyment - "I like this movie."
- Pause when you would typically insert "like." Vocalized pauses are just filling places where you don't have anything to say. So, each time you anticipate saying "like," pause instead. This approach works for other vocalized pauses, such as: "um," "er," "ah," and "you know."
- Pausing, rather than saying "like," has the added benefit of making you sound more confident and authoritative.
- Record yourself to see how often you use the word "like" incorrectly. Once you can pinpoint your most common mistakes, it'll be easier to catch yourself in action and make corrections. In any conversation or when speaking freely for a few minutes, you'll probably notice that you misuse "like" in a few noticeable patterns. Make note of these. The most common of these patterns are addressed in the following steps.
- Stop using "like" when quoting someone. Whenever you catch yourself using "like" to put words in someone's mouth, replace it with "said." Better yet, come up with a verb that more specifically describes how the person spoke: yelled, whispered, answered, exclaimed, insisted, etc. Doing this helps your reader or listener imagine what you're describing, so your stories and conversations will be more vivid and enjoyable.
- Incorrect: "He was like, 'Where are you going?' and she was like, 'None of your business!'"
- Correct: "He asked, 'Where are you going?' and she yelled, 'None of your business!'"
- Don't use "like" to approximate. When you're giving a quantity that you're not sure of, you might use the word "like" to indicate that you're guessing or approximating. In this case, it can easily be replaced by the following words: about, approximately, or roughly.
- Incorrect: "She's, like, five feet tall."
- Correct: "She's about five feet tall."
- Incorrect: "You'll need, like, three tablespoons of butter."
- Correct: "You'll need roughly three tablespoons of butter."
- Don't use "like" before adjectives and adverbs. You might also find yourself plugging other fillers such as "so" or "really" in between.
- Incorrect: "He was, like, so tall."
- Correct: "He was tall."
- Incorrect: "She's, like, really irritated."
- Correct: "She's irritated."
- Improve your vocabulary. Your speech might feel "naked" without the word "like" to fill in gaps. The best remedy for this is to become more articulate. Whenever a statement feels plain, try to think of ways you can be more specific or descriptive.
- Bad: "He's like 160 pounds."
- Good: "He's about 160 pounds."
- Better: "He weighs 160 pounds and has a stocky build."
- Bad: "She's, like, really happy with her new job."
- Good: "She's happy with her new job."
- Better: "She's more satisfied with her new job."
- Quit using the word "like" altogether. If you find that you're still having a hard time using "like" correctly, you might want to abandon the word altogether, at least temporarily, just to break the habit. Even though there are ways to use "like" correctly, there are also ways to replace it. In fact, you never need to use "like" - any synonym will do. You can't use the word incorrectly if you don't use it at all! Below are some useful synonyms:
- To convey similarity: Replace "like" with "similar to."
- To convey enjoyment: Replace "like" with "enjoy," "savor," or "love."
- Slow down. Using "like" (or any other vocal filler) while speaking can be a sign that you're speaking more quickly than your brain can think, forcing you to fill time while your mind "catches up." Make an effort to slow your speech down and you may notice that you naturally begin to rely on the word "like" less. It's not easy to change your ingrained speaking habits, but with patient, deliberate practice, you can make substantial progress. Below are just a few tips:
- Take time to breathe after every complete sentence or thought.
- Think about what you're going to say before you say it. It's okay to spend a split second in silence before you respond to someone.
- Try to express one precise, coherent thought per sentence.
- Stick with it! Your vocal habits aren't going to change overnight, but if you're persistent, you will probably notice slow, gradual change. Don't give up! Give yourself plenty of time to improve and you will see results.
- Celebrate your successes. For instance, you may want to see how long you can go without saying the word "like" in an improper way and reward yourself with something you enjoy every time you break your record.
Tips
- Fillers (such as "like") will often appear in one's speaking when the pace is quick, as speaking gets ahead of the train of thought. Practice determining a pace that minimizes the occurrence of these fillers.
- Know that relying too heavily on the word "like" makes you sound uncertain or unsure of yourself. When you take this out of your vocabulary, you start sounding more confident of your answers.
- Don't be hard on yourself for being addicted to the word "like." Everybody has done it at least once. Teachers, professors, and even President Obama have had the habit. You're not alone!
- This also applies to the word "actually."
- If you're trying to learn how to sound like a native English speaker, doing the opposite of these instructions might help, but only in informal situations. Using "like" excessively in the workplace can make you seem unprofessional.
- You can have a parent get a jar. Fill it with money (if you have about 50 bucks). If you say "like" incorrectly, you lose 50 cents. If you use "like" correctly, you'll get 50 cents back if you lost any money previously.
- Ask friends, family, and co-workers to let you know whenever you use the word "like" incorrectly. For more encouragement, have them make you put some money in a jar (a quarter, a dollar) every time you say "like."
- Attend a local Toastmasters meeting where someone will count the number of times you use "like," as well as "um" or "ah" for you. (It's free for guests.)
- Slow down your speech so you can replace "like" with other--but not filler!--words until it's a mindset.
Warnings
- Don't replace "like" with another filler such as "um," "ah," "actually," "basically," "y'know," "and stuff," or "so," especially in the beginning of a sentence or conversation.
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