Adopt As a Single Woman

Adopting a child as a single woman is not impossible, but it is often a difficult and challenging process.[1]Your chances of adopting will be greatly increased if you take some time to explore all the issues you might face once you begin the process.

Steps

  1. Prepare yourself for the demands of single-parenting. If you are reading this article, then you have already decided that you want to adopt. Take your decision a step further and explore the demands that single parenthood will present. Read about coping strategies other single women have devised. In other words, explore fully what you can expect as a woman about to become a single parent. That way, you will be to knowledgeably address any concerns the agency might have.
  2. Draw up a list of adoption agencies that allow single parent adoptions. Many agencies won’t consider a single parent, so narrow your search to agencies that are willing and able to work with you. A good place to start is the Adoptive Families Circle[2] and The Child Welfare Information Getaway website of The US Department of Health and Human Services.[3] These are just two websites that can direct you to single parent adoption agencies. These and other sites also contain feedback from other single adoptive parents; feedback that may save you an inordinate amount of time in your initial search.
  3. Know that your best chance at adoption will probably be internationally. The process tends to be shorter and you are more likely to be able to adopt a young child or a baby. According to Children’s Hope International, birth mothers in the United States are less likely to choose a single parent to adopt their child.[4]
  4. Be prepared to have a home study conducted. A home study is a detailed evaluation of you and your home and is required for all adoptions. This evaluation is undertaken to determine your fitness and suitability as a single adoptive parent. Here is what you need to know about a home study:
    • Detailed background information will be collected. This will include your medical and financial records as well as your personal and employment references. The home study is usually performed by a court appointed evaluator, a licensed social worker, an official of the state child welfare system or a licensed adoption agency.
    • You will meet with the evaluator; at least once in your home and up to three more times to discuss the entire adoption process. The evaluator will also assess your neighborhood. If you are hoping to adopt a school-age child, the schools located in your district may be evaluated as well.
    • You will be given a copy of the findings at the end of the evaluation process. This document will include the evaluator’s conclusions and recommendations.
    • The costs associated with a home study vary widely, and can be as much as $2,000. The final cost is determined by factoring in the travel time costs of the evaluator and all associated fees incurred in order to obtain criminal background checks and child abuse clearances.
  5. Be proactive. Evaluate your finances as well as your back up support system of family and friends. Show the agency and the home study evaluator that you have investigated all aspects of the adoption process and the obstacles that you may encounter.

Tips

  • Be mentally and emotionally prepared for a lot of rejections from agencies and birth mothers. As single women are not the favored types of households for adoption agencies, you must have the emotional and physical strength to complete the journey.
  • Before and after you adopt, seek advice from websites such as the “I am a Single Mother" forum and chat board. Websites like this can offer support, advice and encouragement from other single moms.
  • While not aimed exclusively at single parents, Adopting.org[5]is a great website to visit for resources, information and support for both domestic and international adoptions.
  • If you plan to adopt a child over the age of 3 or4, the adoption agency will most likely arrange a series of pre-placement visits to your home. This will prepare both you and the child. Read more about how to prepare for these visits at Adopting.Org.[6]

Warnings

  • One of the biggest obstacles you will face when you try to adopt is the resistance of some adoption agencies and personnel that are concerned about the difficulty for a single parent to take care of the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of a child. Having a network of supportive family and friends will help you overcome this obstacle.

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Sources and Citations