The seventh grade is a challenging time. Even after adapting to a new school in previous kids, you still worry over the impossibility of fitting in. You look at the beloved athletes, popular girls at the “cool” table at lunch, and even the kids who don’t seem to care about anything other than partying, and you convince yourself you want to become that. When you go on to high school, though, you realize how little their reputations matter. Rather than reinventing your image, putting effort into your appearance and adopting a good attitude that allows you to be yourself will make you cool in seventh grade.
Steps
Interacting with Others
- Build friendships. Being alone isn’t cool and neither is chasing the friendship of the people with the most status. Instead of trying to befriend the most attractive people, spend time with friends the same gender as you and don’t abandon them if you do make more friends. Good friendships make you feel more confident now and more healthy long-term.[1]
- Instead of looking for relationships and trying to impress immature kids who seem cool, stay home with your friends. Find activities you can do together, even if that means watching a movie and eating ice cream.
- Social media is good for maintaining friendships, but be sure to spend plenty of time in-person with friends.
- Engage in social media carefully. Social media is a widespread, easy platform to use to connect to friends, but it creates many problems. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in negative activities such as cyberbullying. Stay connected with others, discuss interests, but don’t make a bad name for yourself by being rude.[2]
- Take as much time off as you can from social media to spend time with friends or do activities.
- Don’t try hard to impress others. You don’t need to compete to take wild pictures and post status updates. Instead, having fun and doing what comes naturally will come through in the pictures and on the page and make you seem confident and cool.
- It’s easy to respond quickly and angrily online, but this opens you up for retaliation. Instead, turn off computer and calm down first.
- Keep up on trends. Have you heard that new song yet? Everyone else in school has, and to be cool it’s useful to be able to keep up with what everyone else knows. If you know about that song, for instance, even if you don’t like it you’ll be able to talk about it.
- Having common ground with someone helps you begin a conversation and become their friend.[3]
- Have a sense of humor. If you struggle with being entertaining, you can learn some jokes, for instance, but humor also includes the way you look at your situation. In the seventh grade, any awkward moment or mistake can look like a big deal. If you treat it like one, others see that and may even joke about it. Learning to let life not bother you is part of maintaining your cool.
- Remember that the things that look bad now won’t mean anything later on, so you’ll end up laughing about many of these memories anyway.
- Don’t tell secrets. It doesn’t matter how trustworthy you think someone is. In the seventh grade, if you do anything, whether that be planning a surprise for a friend or sending a naked picture of yourself, expect that the school will know. The other seventh graders feel the need to know and be first to tell others, and they will distort the message along the way. Don’t tell anything you don’t want to be public knowledge.[4]
- This also goes for anything anyone else tells you. If someone tells you a secret, the last person you want to be is the one who can’t be trusted. Keep it secret. If it’s important, talk to a trusted adult.
- Get active. Athletes are commonly considered cool. Sports are school-wide activities that a limited group of students get to perform. You can however participate in these sports and teams outside of school. If you’re not athletically-inclined, getting active means finding something else you enjoy, like a school club or a youth group.
- The important step to being active is finding something you enjoy. Make friends while doing it. You’ll become happier, more confident, and therefore appear cooler.
- Give up on worrying a lot about what other people think of your activities.
Doing Well in School
- Be yourself. It is okay to adjust your appearance and behavior to fit in, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to like what you like. Own it. This will make you happier and more confident, which makes you seem cooler. On the other hand, someone striving too hard to be cool is obvious to everyone around them becomes uncool.
- Take care of your schoolwork. No, being studious isn’t considered cool. Neither is being grounded. If you don’t do the work, your parents may keep you in the house, make you go to tutoring, or make you do the work later anyway. In addition, doing badly hurts your future and being considered dumb doesn’t make you look cool either.
- You don’t have to announce that you love school. Simply get the work done and do the best you can.
- Avoid breaking rules. In the seventh grade, you’re bound to hear plenty of stories of kids who experiment with relationships, sex, drugs, and disobeying. You may want to pull away from parents and teachers, but you’ll have better results not going out of your way to break rules to appear cool.
- The risks others take seem cool now, but the time spent being superficial and partying makes you miss out on long-term friendships.[5]
- The kids who socially strive to be cool by doing things like shoplifting, cutting class, and having relationships lose their coolness as you progress in life and they don’t.[6]
- Be friendly. Seventh grade is difficult, particularly when you’re around popular kids. Many of them act aggressively to others raise their own status. This however is stressful and nasty. By treating everyone with respect, you’ll avoid making enemies and many who are tired of putting on an act to be cool will appreciate it.
- Greet people warmly without offering any disrespect. Do your best to be personable.
- Avoid talking behind someone else’s back or other sorts of bullying behavior.
- Don’t forget to be friendly to adults, too. Although you want to get away from parents and teachers, showing hostility isn’t impressive and leads to more trouble.
- Resolve conflicts peacefully. Fights may be encouraged by other kids, but the flared tempers don’t leave anyone looking cool. When conflicts do arise, try examining the problem, reasoning it through, and discussing a solution. The seventh grade is a difficult time of life, so fighting and being catty makes you look bad when emotions settle and sets you up for future incidents.[7]
- After you’ve identified the problems and given your perspective, listen to the other person’s perspective.
- Don’t use what someone else says to provoke or attack. Instead, find common interests and use these to make a decision.
- Showing that you’re in control and have leadership skills will make you seem cool and leadership skills can be used to impress adults.
Dressing for School
- Take a shower. In middle school, you’re at the point when your body begins to do weird things that cause you to feel that your reputation is in danger around other kids. If you haven’t previously been doing it, it’s time to take a shower every morning. This washes away body odor, sweat, and grease in hair. Use a small amount of bathing product, work it into a lather, and gently rinse with warm water.[8]
- Be sure to wash your hair. If oily hair is a problem, choose shampoo and conditioner that is designed for oily hair.
- If you plan on using perfume or cologne, avoid bath products that leave a strong scent.
- Shave body hair. This is optional. You may not even have much hair that you want to shave, but other kids make you feel self-conscious. Unfortunately, quite a few people look down upon natural body hair and shaving is an adult activity many others are eager to try.
- Ask your parents if you haven’t started yet, and let them show you how to shave properly.
- Lather up shave gel on the damp, freshly-washed areas you will shave. Take a safe but sharp razor and move in the direction of the hair growth. For underarms, for instance, this requires moving the razor in all angles.
- For girls, gently stroke up your legs. For the upper lip, stroke downwards.[9]
- For boys, start from the side of the face and move in the direction of the hair growth. This is most often downwards until you get to the throat.[10]
- Apply deodorant. When you sweat, your body produces odors. Deodorant is necessary to stop that. After taking a shower, apply your chosen deodorant to your underarms and consider using it on non-sensitive areas such as your feet. The spray or roll-on deodorant should go on evenly and last until you get home.[11]
- Avoid deodorant that is very smelly. Smell is a powerful sense, and a bad smell is a sure way to be considered uncool.
- Try antiperspirants if needed. Many deodorants are also antiperspirants, which prevent sweating. For excessive sweating, choose a brand that has more than ten percent aluminum in it.[12]
- Put on a little cologne or perfume. This is optional, but helps cover up the body’s natural odors. The fragrance doesn’t have to be expensive to be good. Find one that smells nice to you in nearby retail stores and begin applying them right after you’ve dried your skin after a shower, as that’s when they’re best able to get into your skin. Stand still and spray or dab a little bit onto you.[13]
- The best areas to put on fragrance are warm areas such as the neck, lower jaw, chest, and shoulders.
- Start with one spray or dab at first and let the fragrance rest. Rubbing it in makes the smell weaker.
- Go slow. Avoid using too much. Your fragrance should not be detectable from far away and it should not smother those around you.
- Style your hair. Everyone in school can see your hair. A style that looks trendy will announce your coolness factor and one that looks lame will hurt your appearance. The most important factor is to work with your natural hairstyle and frame it in a way that emphasizes your features.
- For inspiration, ask your hairdresser or parents. Also look at what celebrities and cool kids around you do, but remember that the best style will be uniquely you.
- Products such as gel or straightener devices are an option, but be wary of copying a bland style that those around you try.[13]
- Apply makeup sparingly. Makeup is far from a necessity. There’s no reason to cover up your natural appearance, but you’ve most likely witnessed your mother and other adults applying makeup. If you do choose to use some, use small amounts. Going overboard on lipstick, eyeliner, blush, and foundation isn’t appealing.[14]
- Try to stick to minimums, such as small containers of lip gloss and eyeliner.
- Have your parent or a makeup counter clerk show you how to apply makeup properly.
- Instead of covering your face, get used to your own skin. Learn to love it and gain confidence from your natural appearance. This will give you a coolness factor that makeup cannot provide.
- Dress attractively. Appearance is important. When you dress well, you start feeling better and others view you better. Many students shop at expensive retailers and may look down on general stores like Walmart, but instead of spending all your money, find what looks good on you and work that into your own style.[15]
- Find clothes that fit you well. That means your jeans shouldn’t be skin-tight, but they also shouldn’t be baggy. Girls, avoid short skirts and thin tops that will get you in trouble.
- Try not to look like a typical student. This means limiting wearing what others are wearing, such as school logos, bland jeans, or worn-out shirts.
- Look to others for ideas, but remember to make your own style instead of copying that of a popular kid.
- If you wear a uniform, all you can do is try to change the uniform in alternative ways. Accessories are a good way to make an individual statement.
- Accessorize. If you have to wear a uniform, chances are you’ve already started this, but everyone can benefit from choosing accessories that look unique and individual. Choose ones that speak to you rather than ones that are simply expensive or popular. They should stand out enough that they catch the eyes of those around you but shouldn’t be over the top in brightness or design.[16]
- Instead of wearing flip-flops or worn-out sneakers, find shoes of different designs and materials and match them to your outfit.
- In winter months, try to avoid puffy coats, but don’t sacrifice warmth.
- Choose a backpack, handbag, and school supplies with designs and colors that appeal to you and compliment your clothes.
- Hair accessories and jewelry provide a great opportunity to apply color and designs in a way that displays your individuality.
Tips
- Treat everyone well. If you make jewelry, for instance, you can give them to kids who aren’t popular. Others, including more popular kids, may notice and want them too.
- Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t lie and break rules to do that. Chances are you’ll end up losing the person you were trying to impress at the cost of bringing on more trouble for yourself.
- Being yourself is the biggest key to being happy and cool. Find your interests and explore them.
- Express your talents.
Warnings
- Stay away from being the class clown. Doing wild, risky activities such as sex, drugs, and cutting class seems cool at first, but it soon sets you behind everyone else in life.
- Sticking up for others can be risky, but doing so does look cool and is appreciated by others.
- Pretending to be friends with the people who don’t truly seem to like you will hurt your reputation and make life more difficult in the long run.
- Be careful about telling secrets. Snitches have bad reputations, but some kept secrets can lead to someone getting hurt. Use your judgment and talk to an adult when needed.
Things You'll Need
- Clean clothes
- School supplies
- Deodorant
- Shampoo
- Cologne or perfume (optional)
- Good shoes
Related Articles
Sources and Citations
