Be a Popular Girl

Having a lot of friends can provide you with social support, help boost your mood, and reduce feelings of stress.[1] If you want to become popular, focus on being a likable person who others genuinely want to be around. You can also gain recognition and respect in your school by joining a variety of clubs and activities. If you put yourself out there and strive to be more social, popularity will follow in time.

Steps

Getting Involved in Your School

  1. Join a club. If you want to be popular, you'll need to be seen and known around your school. Joining an extracurricular activity can help boost your status. It has the added benefit of allowing you to make new friends, increasing your popular nature.[1]
    • You can find people with common interests by joining a club that personally speaks to your passions. If you're interested in journalism, for example, joining the newspaper club can help.
    • If you're focusing on popularity, you may want to see what kinds of clubs the popular kids are joining. If the most popular girls in school are all in the debate club, this may be a great place to meet popular students.
  2. Get involved in sports. In many schools, popular girls are involved in sports or athletics. Joining a sports team may help you get to know the popular students. If you end up excelling at sports, you may become popular yourself.
    • Train if you're unfamiliar with a certain sport. If you want to join the basketball team, for example, practice shooting hoops at a local park.
    • You may have to get in shape to join a club. Make sure you start small when it comes to getting in shape, as you don't want to overexert yourself. Start with small exercise sessions and work your way up.
    • Do not get too discouraged if you don't make a school sport's team. Remember that you can always try out again next year. It is also important to stay in shape and try to get better for next year's try-outs.
  3. Run for student council. Are the class presidents, treasurers, and representatives popular in your school? If so, you may benefit from running for student council. At the beginning of the year, when elections are held, try to get a campaign team together and go for a spot in student council.
    • Make sure you learn the rules and regulations for running for student council. You may have to get a certain number of signatures or sign up by a certain deadline.
    • Think of a great campaign slogan and plaster it on decorative poster boards. Put up your posters throughout the school.
    • Write a great campaign speech for your chosen position, clearly laying out what you'll bring to the job.
  4. Show up to school related events. If you want to be popular, you have to put yourself out there and socialize. Attend school events where the popular crowd is likely to hang out. Do not skip out on things like school dances, sporting events, and pep rallies.[1]
    • If you're shy, try to get a small group of existing friends to attend such events with you. However, be sure not to just hang out with your own crowd. You'll want to branch out and talk to new people. Increasing your friend's circle can help you gain popularity.
    • Do not be shy. It can be intimidating to meet others, but school events often make striking up a conversation easier. This is especially true for sporting events, where there may be a sense of camaraderie based on cheering for the same team.

Making New Friends

  1. Set goals. It may sound strange, but setting goals can help you make new friends. This is especially true if you're on the shy side. Setting small goals for yourself, that allow you to gradually break out of your shell, can help boost your popularity.[2]
    • Set small goals for yourself at first. For example, you can promise to make small talk with a new person before class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
    • As you begin to feel more comfortable socializing with others, try to set bigger goals. You can promise you'll go to the birthday party you were invited to and try to talk to at least 3 new people.
    • If you're persistent with following up on your goals, you'll eventually feel much more comfortable socializing. This can allow you to meet new people and make a great number of new friends.
  2. Invite people to do things with you. If you want to make more friends, you have to focus on socializing outside the classroom. Once you get comfortable hanging out at school, try inviting someone out. Ask an acquaintance if he or she wants to go see a movie or get coffee. Try getting a group together to do something fun, like go to the mall.[1]
    • Do not be afraid to ask a popular girl to do something with you, especially if you have already established a firm connection with her in school. If you get along with someone inside the classroom, there's a good chance that person would be open to spending time with you outside the classroom.
  3. Do not take rejection personally. Fear of rejection is a big reason people refrain from putting themselves out there. However, rejection happens to everyone. Just because someone doesn't want to see a movie with you on a particular Friday does not mean that person is not interested in your friendship.[1]
    • People do have other obligations. If a popular girl declines your invitation to get coffee, she may genuinely be busy. Don't use this setback as a reason to retreat back into your shell.
    • Remember, there is a lot you do not know about other people. Anyone you talk to has a litany of obligations and issues you do not know about. If someone says "No," that person may be shy or busy.
    • Take rejection as a minor setback. You can try asking someone to hang out in a few weeks if they say "No" the first time.
  4. Get on social media. Social media can help you be popular, especially in high school. Many teenagers have accounts like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter that are a major aspect of socialization. A lot of invitations to events, as well as conversation and bonding, happen online.[2]
    • Find out what kind of social media accounts are popular in your school. If the popular girls are really interested in Snapchat, sign up for an account. You may want to check with your parents before opening certain social media accounts, however, just to make sure that it's okay in your home.
    • Focus on meaningful interactions online. People tend to respond better to personalized messages over vague status updates. Congratulate one of the popular girls about winning a spelling bee or getting accepted into a summer internship program.
    • Keep in mind virtual friends cannot make up for real friends. While socializing online can enhance existing relationships, avoid talking to strangers on the internet. Not only will this not increase your overall popularity, it can be a safety issue as well.
  5. Treat others how you want to be treated. If you want more friends, you need to have something offer people. Remember the Golden Rule when seeking out new friends and treat others as you would wish to be treated. People are naturally drawn to people who are respectful and kind to others.[3]

Having the Right Attitude

  1. Give yourself a makeover. While you should not focus on looks alone to be popular, confidence is key to popularity. Giving yourself a new haircut and changing up your wardrobe and makeup can help you feel better about yourself. This may make you more likely to put yourself out there and seek out new friendships, boosting your popularity.
    • Try to go with trends that you personally enjoy. If you're wearing something you hate, you won't feel confident in it. This can make you less likely to socialize. If you hate leggings, do not follow the legging trend in your school. If you notice a lot of popular girls wear boots, and you love your pair of black lace-up boots, this could be a great trend for you to follow.
    • You may want to change up your hair and makeup. You can go to the makeup counter at a local beauty salon and ask for an attractive every day makeup look. Ask a stylist at a salon what would be a flattering hairstyle for you. Makeup and hair that works well for your features can bolster your confidence and, in turn, increase your popularity.
  2. Smile. While smiling is a small change, it can make you look more positive and approachable. Striving to smile more can help increase your popularity and win you more friends. Work on smiling in front of a mirror until you find a winning and approachable smile. As you navigate the hallways, try to smile at others.[2]
    • When people talk to you, make an effort to smile during the conversation.
    • Smile when you make eye contact with people in the hallway.
    • When introducing yourself to new people, flash a smile while shaking hands.
  3. Be friendly. If you're a warm and friendly person, people can be drawn to you. This can win you more friends and more popularity. Work on cultivating a friendly attitude in order to be popular in your school.[3]
    • Try to show people you are happy to see them. If appropriate, give a friend a hug or a pat on the shoulder when meeting up with them in public.
    • Show genuine enthusiasm when around others. Smile and laugh during conversation.
    • Be open with new people. Strike up a conversation between classes. Sit at a new lunch table. Introduce yourself in a friendly fashion in an effort to get to know new people and make new friends.
  4. Ask about others. People are drawn to people who show an interest in their lives. During conversations with others, ask questions. Give people an opportunity to talk about themselves and their interests.[3]
    • Ask questions to learn about others. Ask about other people's interests and passions. Ask something like, "What's your earliest memory?" or "What's your favorite thing to do on the weekends?"
    • This can be a great technique at parties. You'll be able to hold down a conversation for awhile by asking questions, as people enjoy talking about themselves. You can really get to know someone by asking a lot of questions.
  5. Listen. Being a good listener can help people like you more, allowing yourself to be more popular. Try to genuinely listen to what others say. If you don't understand something, ask a follow up question to make sure you understand. Showing a genuine interest in what others have to say can really help with your popularity.[3]
    • Give people space to speak. When someone finishes a sentence, wait 5 to 10 seconds to make sure they're truly done speaking.
    • Try to listen half as much as you talk.
  6. Be a helpful person. Another way to be popular is to be helpful to others. Listen when a friend is in need. If someone needs help with a homework problem, offer to lend them a helping hand. People want to be around people who are caring and kind to other people. Trying to be helpful can help you be more popular.[3]
    • While being helpful is great to make new friends, avoid getting taken advantage of. If someone is constantly asking you for favors, it's okay to establish boundaries.
    • You also want to make sure people are not using you. If friends are not helpful to you in return, you may be better off with such people out of your life.
  7. Be yourself. Being authentic can help you win friends. While many people feel they have to change to be popular, people tend to be naturally drawn to people who are comfortable in their own skin. Try to let your personality show through. Do not be afraid to bring up your own interests and passions when the opportunity presents itself. Let your unique qualities, like your sense of humor, shine through during conversations.[3]

Avoiding Peer Pressure

  1. Trust your instincts. While being popular can be fun, you should never put yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable just to please others. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, listen to this gut instinct. A negative gut reaction often points to a dangerous situation.[4]
    • Back out of a situation when you become uncomfortable. Find a way to excuse yourself from a party or event if you get nervous.
    • You can try making up a quick excuse if you do not want to get into a confrontation in the moment. For example, say something like, "Sorry, but I should get going. I'm coming down with a really bad headache."
  2. Do not engage in illegal or immature activity. If you're attending an event where drugs or alcohol are being used, it's best to leave. You do not want to be popular at the expense of your own safety. There also may be legal consequences to underage drinking or the use of illegal drugs. If you're pressured into doing anything illegal, find a way to leave the situation fast.[4]
    • If you're going to a party where there may be alcohol or drugs served, plan what to do in the event you're pressured to partake. You can have a trusted friend on call who can help get you out of this situation.
  3. Avoid bullying. Negative peer pressure can often encourage you to bully or ostracize other students. Popular clicks in middle or high school often engage in bullying. Remember, bullying can have serious emotional consequences for the target. Avoid the temptation of gossip and do not be openly cruel to other students as your school.[4]
    • It can be very hard to try to resist negative peer pressure, but remember the benefits. You'll feel better about yourself and you may influence other peers to resist things like bullying and gossip as well.
  4. Focus on positive peer pressure. Peer pressure is not always negative. Sometimes, your friends may pressure you into a taking a risk that is worth it. Good friends, for example, will encourage you to submit your poems to that contest or ask your crush on a date. Friends may also expose you to new and interesting things, like a new music group or author. While rejecting negative peer pressure, focus on the positives. Allow your friends to teach you about new things and help you find opportunities for fun, learning, and personal growth.[4]

Tips

  • Don't be catty. Starting drama and insulting other girls will not make you popular. In fact, it will only make you a point of gossip or even ridicule. Even if you genuinely dislike someone, do not engage in gossip.
  • If someone doesn't like you, get over it; not everyone will. Be nice to them, though, because they might come around and realize how great you really are.
  • Adjusting yourself and changing yourself are two different things. Trying to be someone you're not won't win you friends; everyone will see through your act at some point. Try to build off of who you already are. Very different sorts of people can all become popular, so don't try to fit a mold.
  • Remember that it will take time to become popular. It could take a month or more. It won't just happen overnight. Just look at it as a social project you can work on.
  • Avoid staying home on weekends. Make sure you are out having fun with your friends (or go solo). The more people see you, the more they'll like you. Studies have shown that familiar faces are more appealing than unfamiliar ones. It's still okay just to have an easy weekend, but sitting in the corner every weekend won't make you cool.
  • Try watching TV shows everyone else watches (Pretty Little Liars, Gossip Girl, 90210, One Tree Hill, Teen Wolf, Lying Game, etc.) so you will have something to talk about with the popular girls, but make sure they are really shows you enjoy and feel are appropriate. Ask a parent permission to watch the shows.
  • Don't be cocky. Being confident about yourself is good but don't let your confidence take over you. Don't act as if you're too cool for school and don't act bored when someone is speaking. The last thing that people want is someone that think they are the boss.
  • If this does not work, be patient. Not everyone becomes popular overnight.

Warnings

  • The golden rule: Do not be mean or Avoid Acting Snobbish! In the movies, they show popular girls as being mean, snobby, and rich. In reality, nobody wants to hang out with mean snobs, and it's 100 percent possible to be popular without being rich or owning a single designer outfit. The popular girls are the nice girls who are well-liked and have lots of friends.
  • If you have made friends with other people who are popular, don't abandon your old friends. Get your old friends to come with your new friends so you can hang out with all your friends.
  • Although popularity is not really about grades, if you are generally smart as well as a cool person, people will like you because you have a good balance of being cool and being smart.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-make-friends.htm
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 http://greatist.com/happiness/how-to-make-keep-friends
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/the-popularity-factor/
  4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/peer-pressure.html#
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