Be Emo in Middle School

While emo culture developed all the way back in the '80s as a subgenre of punk music, it is still alive and well, even if it is a little misunderstood. Emo is often centered around the music of bands who write emotional lyrics, but it's evolved to include a certain way of dressing and acting as well. Going full-on emo in middle school can be tough because your parents may not allow you to alter your physical appearance the way you'd like -- but acting emo is even more important than looking the part, so you just have to learn to express yourself the right way.

Steps

Understanding the Emo World

  1. Learn what it means to be emo. Before you can become emo, you have to understand exactly what it means. “Emo” is short for emotive, and people who consider themselves to be emo are usually in touch with their emotions. They don’t feel the need to hide how they feel, even when they are sad or angry.[1]
    • While music, clothing, hair, and makeup can play a large role in being emo, being comfortable with your feelings and expressing them is the most important part.
    • If you’re emo, you never feel the need to pretend that you’re feeling something that you’re not. For example, if an emo person is sad, they won’t try to convince everyone around them that they’re actually happy. They express the true emotions that they’re feeling.
  2. Listen to the music. Music is very important to emo culture, so it’s important to know the right bands if you want to fit in. Emo music started out as a subgenre of punk [2], and the “emo” name is actually shortened from “emotive hardcore punk.” The music originally featured a fast sound and shouted vocals, though it’s evolved to also include a softer, more melodic sound. The common trait in emo music, though, is always emotional lyrics.[3]
    • Some early emo bands that helps establish the genre in the mid-80s include Rites of Spring, Embrace and Dag Nasty.
    • In the ‘90s, emo music experience a revival with bands such as Texas Is The Reason, Sunny Day Real Estate, Jawbreaker, American Football, and Braid.
    • In the 2000s, emo pop was born pioneered by bands like Jimmy Eat World[4],The Get Up Kids and The Promise Ring. Later, other bands like My Chemical Romance, Paramore, Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco became part of the fusion genre. Most of these bands have moved away from their emo pop roots[5] so listen to their early work if you're looking for this particular style. Bear in mind this is what's known as emo today when really, emo refers to the emotive hardcore sub-genre. Emo pop is a fusion of emo and pop punk.
  3. Decide if it fits your personality. You shouldn’t decide to become emo just because all of your friends are. Instead, think about whether the culture really fits with your personality and interests. If you’re not comfortable acknowledging and expressing your emotions, including darker feelings such as depression and anger, then it’s probably not the right fit for you. Don’t try to force yourself to become emo just because you think it will make make you cool.[1]
    • If you prefer lighter, more “feel good” music, the emo scene may not be right for you either. You shouldn’t have to talk yourself into liking the harder edge of emo music.
    • If the emo culture does seem like a perfect fit for you, you shouldn’t worry if your friends are emo too. Be true to yourself, and your real friends will respect your choices and interests.

Dressing Emo

  1. Choose dark clothing. While the emo look does sometimes include pops of bright colors, it is usually made up mainly of dark shades. Black is an obvious choice, but your parents may not want you to wear head to toe black. Instead, work some other dark colors, such as navy, eggplant, and forest green, into your wardrobe to go along with black.[6]
    • If your parents don’t want to buy dark clothing for you and encourage you to wear light and bright shades, try to compromise with them. Ask them if you can buy black and other dark colored clothing if you earn the money for them yourself. You might babysit, mow lawns, or do extra chores around the house to make the money you need.
    • While black and other dark shades are the main color palette for emo clothing, you can work some small bits of bright color into your look. For example, you might wear a black tee shirt that features artwork with some red and white touches, or you might add a bright blue studded bracelet to an otherwise dark outfit.
  2. Opt for skinny jeans. Loose clothing is a big no-no in emo fashion, so sweatpants and baggy jeans aren’t the best option if you want to dress emo. Instead, both girls and guys should opt for skinny jeans that fit closely to the body. Girls can also go with slim-fitting skirts, and pair them with dark tights or leggings underneath.[6]
    • It’s best to choose black or dark denim skinny jeans to fit the emo look.
    • Skinny jeans that feature rips, tears, or studs are perfect when you want to dress emo.
    • If you aren’t comfortable in skinny jeans, you can swap them for straight leg jeans that are a little looser. Just be sure to avoid baggy jeans that you constantly need to pull up because they won’t fit the look at all.
  3. Dress in layers. Another common trend in emo fashion is dressing in layers. In most cases, that means wearing a tee shirt under a hoodie. Just make sure that the tee and hoodie are both slim-fitting, so you don’t look so bulky. You can also swap the hoodie for a denim or leather jacket or layer a short-sleeve tee over a tight long-sleeve tee to mix up your look.[6]
    • Vintage band tees make great layering pieces under hoodies and other jackets.
    • Solid hoodies in dark colors work well for an emo outfit, but you can also opt for patterned jackets. Skulls, stripes, stars, and checkerboard designs are all ideal emo patterns.
  4. Keep your shoes flat. For an authentic emo look, forget about wearing any shoes with a high heel. Instead, wear flat shoes -- that can be any flat tennis shoes, boots, or slip-on shoes that you are comfortable in. However, the most common type of flat shoes in emo fashion are Converse or Vans style tennis shoes.[7]
    • You can’t go wrong with black shoes when you’re going for an emo look, but you can also go for a colored pair in shade such as red or purple. Patterned tennis shoes also work in emo fashion -- try a checkered or striped design.

Looking Emo

  1. Polish your nails with dark shades. Just as with your clothing, you should avoid bright or light colors when it comes to your nail polish. Black is the obvious choice, but if that feels too extreme for you, you can go with navy blue or even a dark red. Emo guys should feel free to wear dark polish if they’re comfortable with it too.[6]
    • Complement your dark nail polish by keeping your nails short and square-shaped.
    • Don’t worry if your nail polish gets a little chipped. That actually works with the emo look.
  2. Load up on eyeliner and mascara. Another staple of the emo look is a heavy, dark eye makeup. You can achieve the look by applying a lot of black eyeliner -- use a pencil to line your upper and lower lashlines and then use a cotton swab to smudge it slightly. Finish off with a couple of coats of mascara to make your eyes look a little more dramatic.[6]
    • Make sure that you have your parents’ permission to use makeup before you start wearing eyeliner, mascara, or any other cosmetics.
    • Even if your parents allow you to wear makeup, you should check your school’s dress code to make sure that you can wear eyeliner and mascara to class.
  3. Get a haircut with bangs. While there isn’t any one specific emo hairstyle, strong bangs are a common feature. In most cases, they’re a long side-swept style that fall over one eye. Your bangs should have a shaggy look too, so they move easily when you’re dancing to your favorite emo band.[6]
    • In addition to bangs, most emo haircuts also features layers.
    • To make sure you get the right style when you go to get your haircut, bring a couple of photos of emo hairstyles that you like to show your stylist. That way, you’ll know that they understand exactly what you want.
  4. Use temporary hair dye. While the clothing, accessories, and makeup are usually dark, one place that bold color does often show up in the emo look is the hair. Streaks of bright pink, purple, blue, and green in your hair can give you the perfect emo look. Your parents probably won’t want you to permanently dye your hair, though, so ask them if you can use temporary dye to add a few streaks. Temporary dyes eventually wash out, but the length of time that it takes depends on the product.[6]
    • If your parents are uncomfortable with the idea of you temporarily dying your hair during the school year, you may want to ask if you can do it during your summer vacation or another extended break from classes.
    • If you parent are still reluctant to allow you to use even temporary dye, you can purchase clip-in hair extensions in bright colors so you can put in some bold streaks for day and easily remove them.

Acting Emo

  1. Get in touch with your emotions. In order to become emo, you have to become aware of your emotions so you’re able to recognize them. Throughout the day, ask yourself how you’re feeling. For example, you might tell yourself, I’m angry, after you have a fight with your friend, or I’m sad, after you don’t do well on a test. Name your emotions as you experience them, and allow yourself to fully feel them.[8]
    • It’s also important to notice the intensity of your emotions. For example, you might be annoyed after a friend is late to meet you, mad when your sibling calls you names, and fuming when someone at school spreads a false rumor about you. Try to identify the full range of emotions that you feel from day to day.
    • If you’re having trouble getting in touch with your emotions, it might help to keep a journal. At the end of each day, jot down the emotions that you felt and what caused them, so you can start to understand them better.
  2. Express your emotions. When you’re emo, acknowledging your feelings doesn’t just mean crying when you’re sad or yelling when you’re angry. Try to find a creative outlet to express your emotions. Depending on your interests and talents, that might mean writing, drawing, painting, singing, or dancing. Find the most satisfying way to express how you feel, and do it regularly.[6]
    • If you want to use writing as a way to express your feelings, try your hand at writing poetry, short stories, and even songs.
    • If you want to use art to express your feelings, draw or paint a scene that makes your emotions visual.
    • If you enjoy singing and dancing, you can use the music of your favorite emo bands for inspiration.
  3. Take time for yourself. Emo teens tend to be introverted, which means they are drained by social interactions with other people. If you feel that way, it’s important to spend time by yourself so you can build your energy back up. Spending time alone also gives you more time to get in touch with your emotions and engage in creative pursuits, such as writing and drawing, that allow you to express your feelings. Don’t be afraid to tell your friends that you don’t feel like hanging out, or asking your parents if you can skip out on family TV night to spend time alone in your room.[6]
    • While some time for yourself is good for you, don’t assume that you should spend all of your time alone just because you’re emo and introverted. Spend time with friends and family who you’re comfortable sharing your feelings with when you feel up to it.

Tips

  • If some part of the emo culture doesn’t feel right, you don’t have to blindly go along with it.
  • If your parents, friends, or teachers are concerned about you becoming emo, having an honest conversation with them may help. Explain what it is about the emo lifestyle that appeals to you, and how it allows you to be yourself. For example, you might tell them, “I like being emo because it makes me feel like my emotions are important and worthwhile,” or you might just say, “I really like the music.”
  • If you're being bullied because you’re emo, don't keep it to yourself -- but don’t retaliate either. Explain the situation to an adult who you trust to see how you can resolve the conflict.
  • Just because you're emo, it doesn't mean you should start getting bad grades or rebelling against your parents. They aren't the enemy, even when they won’t let you do something that you want to do.
  • Don't sneer and scoff at people who are not emo. Just because they're not part of the culture doesn't mean that they’re not worth knowing. Be open-minded and treat everyone with kindness and respect.
  • If you're emo, that doesn't mean you have to cut yourself or act depressed.

Warnings

  • While being emo does mean allowing yourself to experience and express your emotions, especially dark feelings, you shouldn’t ever want to harm yourself. If you start to feel suicidal or a desire to hurt yourself in any way, talk to an adult who you trust about getting help.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 https://nobullying.com/emo/
  2. ↑ http://www.allmusic.com/style/emo-ma0000004447
  3. ↑ http://www.ocweekly.com/music/top-10-emo-bands-of-the-90s-6590197
  4. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20110903200539/http://www.allmusic.com:80/explore/style/emo-pop-d13770
  5. ↑ http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/music/features/paramore-emo-288711.html
  6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 6.3 6.4 6.5 6.6 6.7 6.8 http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15339/1/How-to-Be-Emo.html
  7. ↑ http://www.kidzworld.com/article/24134-fashion-how-to-go-emo
  8. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/LAWW/en/teens/emotional-awareness.html
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