Be Social at a Party

Many people are cautious around other people. They don't want to interrupt others since it is considered rude, and they are often worried that they might choose the wrong group of people to be friendly with, so they have difficulty being social with anybody.

Steps

  1. Look-Approachable. Do not cross your arms, this sends an uninviting vibe to someone who may want to come up and talk to you. Look open and inviting with a genuine smile.
  2. Mingle and talk to new people as they arrive. Ask to be introduced, or do it yourself!
  3. Enjoy yourself and show it. Smile, and if you see a person enter who obviously does not know anyone, walk over to them, and bring them over to the group you are talking to.
  4. Include others. When you're in a conversation with other people and someone new walks up, look at him or her, smile and turn your body so that the group includes the newcomer.
  5. Fill newcomers in on what the group has been talking about. Avoid discussing obscure interests or work, and stick to conversations everyone can enjoy: Sports, music, festivals, current events, etc. Ask everyone to recommend a favorite restaurant, movie or museum. Keep the conversation light and fun.
  6. Invite others to help you. If you have a guest who's not mingling well, invite them to help you check on the punch or even allow them to help you fix the punch.
  7. Bring friends to the party so you don't just sit in a corner.
  8. Always have a positive attitude.

Tips

  • When making conversation, try to avoid asking questions that have yes or no answers, like "Do you live here in Chicago?" Instead, ask "How did you end up living here in Chicago?" or start conversations with "Tell me about..." This approach will create more opportunities for discussion and will keep the conversation going.
  • Be fun and energetic for others (this is what makes it fun for you too), but don't push yourself too hard. Get "rest" between conversations or casually move among more intense and more relaxed conversations. As you get better at being self-sacrificial and social, your energy level and breadth of personality will grow. It is all about having fun.
  • Ask questions about others; don't just focus on yourself. You have a mouth, but you have twice as many eyes and ears. If you can pick up on that, being successfully social becomes a whole lot better.
  • Be yourself, try not to be awkward, and stay confident. Oh, and smell nice.
  • Invite people that you know well, you can talk comfortably around them.
  • When first getting introduced, make sure to make direct eye contact with a slightly firm handshake to let the other person know you are taking the time to acknowledge them.
  • Move around the party and try to talk to everyone.
  • If you enjoy solitude, there is nothing wrong with that. Life is too short to stay in uncomfortable situations. At the very least, be yourself. You may want to share with others about what you do or gain in solitude, as well. People will understand you better, and they may even learn from you.
  • Now is not the time for reminiscing or making "inside jokes" with a few close buddies. This is impolite to others who will be left out of your conversation. If you meet an old friend at a party and old memories come up, ask them out to dinner another night to catch up on old times, and steer the conversation back to the present.
  • Search for something about someone else you can connect with. You have more things in common with most people than you might think.
  • Look nice. This is helpful in gaining the confidence of others.
  • Let your love for people be genuine as people appreciate time with a heart that is opened.
  • Don't be too opinionated or try too hard to show people how knowledgeable you are. You already know your opinions. Focus on listening rather than telling for the sake of the conversation and to build relationships.
  • Introduce yourself to other people, and get to know their names. When others enter the room (or the conversation), you can say things like, "Jim...have you met Sally? She's a history teacher and she's just moved to Chicago."
  • Ask people questions that doesn't have a yes/no answer, then listen and acknowledge them. Make sure to have a positive attitude and just be you. You don't have to be over-energetic, people don't expect that and many people actually prefer down to earth people.
  • Don't just sit in a corner alone and wait for people to talk to you. Even if you're shy, there's probably some else who is just as shy. Watch and see if you can find someone who looks lonely and go introduce yourself.
  • Have fun! Also, if one of your friends introduces you to a new person, welcome them cheerfully (but not so much that you seem fake) and be polite and kind!
  • Maybe if you are old enough have some alcohol if its permitted at a party. This just helps you relax and become less anxious so you can easily start new conversations.

Warnings

  • Don't sit on a couch and wait for people to come to you. Get out and start conversations.
  • Don't shy your eyes away from contact with others.
  • Don't be a phony! People recognize insincerity immediately.
  • Don't sit in a corner on your phone all night! Put it down and get up and start a conversation.

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