Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends

Making friends can be easy if you have the right mindset. People generally like cheery, friendly, funny individuals, so bringing out those aspects of your personality so that people can see them is important. With a little bit of strategy, you'll be making friends in no time!

Steps

Making Your Personality Shine Through

  1. Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone insults you, just ignore them. The people who are jealous and hate you will be outnumbered by the people who love you for being yourself. Play to your strengths.
    • If you are shy or reserved, play up your mysterious side. Be friendly and open to people, but don't be an open book. If people are interested in what makes you click, they'll try to get closer to you to find out.
    • If you're into sports, use your athletic skill to boost your confidence. Just don't be cocky. The people who are great at sports but who are still humble get a lot of attention. Be that person. Don't be the stereotypical jock who picks on the nerds because he's insecure.
    • If you're brainy, focus on being more approachable. One of the least cool things you can do as a really smart person is make other people feel unwelcome, even if they're not that smart. Try to relate to them, and be aware that they may be looking for reasons not to trust you if they are jealous. Only talk about really brainy things with other brainy friends.
  2. Start developing good social skills. Not everyone is born with great social skills, but they can definitely be developed. With the right training and exposure, you can really make a difference in your confidence and your impressions quickly.
    • Be Patient. Talking to strangers is never easy. But the more you do it, the easier it will get. Give conversations time to develop. Hang around people and conversations will naturally develop.
    • Make eye contact. This is important as a lot is conveyed through your eyes and when you avoid looking at someones eyes they may think you are lying or not interested.
    • Be forgiving. Your friends and classmates are bound to make mistakes. Don't hold every last thing against them. Forgive a friend if they come to you with an apology.
    • Be loyal. Little things count. If you make an appointment, be on time. If you're in a group, show up early, and stay late (even if you have nothing to say at the moment).
      • Stick up for your friends. If one of them gets in a fight, try to break it up and calm them down. Don't let people say stupid, mean things about your friends and get away with it.
      • Don't gossip. Gossip is like a boomerang: it will always come back to hit you. Don't develop a reputation as a gossiper. Only say things about people that you'd be comfortable saying to their face.
  3. Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling really down, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. A positive outlook will make people want to be around you a lot more. Be cautious, however. There's a point where optimism can be annoying. Don't be too optimistic.
    • Focus on the good more than you focus on the bad. There's always a good side to things and a bad side. Look at the glass half-full. A breakup is an opportunity to meet someone new; a failed test is an opportunity to learn something; a social slip-up is an opportunity to get better with people.
    • Trust that things will work themselves out. Some people believe in Karma, other people think that good things happen to good people. Whatever you believe, it's good to believe that you'll be rewarded for the way you behave.
    • Focus on what you can change and don't try to change the rest. You can't change who likes you or who thinks that you're funny, but you can change how you interact with them. Don't try to move mountains; stick to bending branches.
  4. Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are. Try exercise to improve your self-esteem. Start your journey to "self-discovery."
    • Make a list of all the things that you set off to do during a week, and check off the things that you finish. At the end of the week, you'll feel great about all you've accomplished.
    • Find a reason to laugh. Repeat watching that side-splitting movie you love; get a super-funny friend to make you laugh; whatever you do, make sure to laugh, because it'll make you feel happier. Every time you make a mistake in front of others make a joke about it, this will not only make you feel less embarrassed, it will make you more popular.
    • Open. Be open to everybody as when you ignore some people you will find it harder to interact with others and over time you may start ignoring everyone.
    • Treat yourself to something nice. We can get caught up in the world every so often. It's nice to step back and realize that the little things count. Don't be afraid to treat yourself.
    • Don't get too down on yourself when you make mistakes. Mistakes are natural. Don't be mad or frustrated when you make a mistake; take it as an opportunity to get better at something.

Getting Others Interested in You

  1. Pay attention to your outward appearance. The way you look isn't the ticket to getting people to like you, but it can help. Make sure you're sending other people great body language. Be unique, be yourself.
    • Wash regularly, smell nice, and brush your teeth. Take a shower once a day. (Wash your hair every other day.) Wear a clean-smelling deodorant or a bit of perfume if you're a girl. Brush your teeth at least twice a day, and floss at least once.
    • Smile as much as you can! Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying. Smiling is a way of letting other people know you're happy as well, and people want to be around others who are happy.
    • Pay attention to the body language you're sending other people. Crossed arms, tapping feet, rolling eyes and sighing are all signs of boredom, exasperation, and disappointment. Make sure you're sending people the right messages with your body.
  2. Start by doing little things if you are reserved. For example, every time you go to school, work, or a party, say hello to someone and have a one-on-one conversation with them. Focus on the easier social tasks before going onto the harder ones; that way, your success will motivate you even more.
    • Say "hello" to those who don't talk much. Share something about yourself, such as where you're going or why you're there. Just be friendly. Avoid talking about the weather — as Tom Waits says, "Strangers talk about the weather." Ask them questions and learn about them if you're unsure about what to say.
    • Listen more than you talk. Instead of nodding and smiling and occasionally wiping the drool off your face, try to take what the person says and run with it. Add your own thoughts into the mix — but don't hijack the conversation. Conversation is a two-way street.
    • Don't expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself. For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself (which probably won't happen), just make fun of the situation. Everyone slips up once in a while; it's how you recover that makes you likable or awkward.
    • Share interesting/silly ideas. Your thoughts can open up many doors that can lead to friendship. You never know if something you say is going to cause people to think deeply, to laugh, or look at you in a different light.
  3. Make friends with different sets of people. The people who are considered popular may not be the sharpest tacks in the box, but they know how to reach out to other people and make them feel good by doing so. It is never too late to feel that being popular is important.
    • Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks. If you're respectful, older people will respect you back They won't ridicule you, make you feel inferior, or laugh at you. Gaining foothold with older people might help you feel more comfortable when it comes time to talk with people your own age.
    • Befriend the younger crowd if you are in middle school. Hanging out with kids a year or two younger may help you build confidence, which will help you with kids around your own age. The 10-year old next door will be really easy to talk to, making your confidence skyrocket.
    • Organize an event with friends. Depending on your age, organize something to do with your friends and let them invite new people. Maybe organize a pickup soccer game, or a pool-party, or a happy hour after work. Try to get new people to join!
  4. Be nice to others. Always give compliments, but don't try too hard. If you are shy, take a deep breath and risk it - you never know what might happen. If you are shy on the outside but a little crazy on the inside, let it out once in a while. Wear your hair up high and spin around or dance. Others will laugh and find you funny and fun to be with.
    • Don't be defensive over something that's only an issue for you. For example, don't shout, "Why are you so prejudiced?" or "Why don't you like women?" when due to past situations you may just be overly sensitive. Try to always believe the best about others and give them the benefit of the doubt.
      • If you're arguing with someone about something stupid such as shoes, drop it. Try to get out of arguments that are dumb. If you're arguing because you were sticking up for your friend because someone was making fun of her and you were trying to stand up for her, then it's understandable.
    • Don't say nasty or offensive things to people. Avoid touchy subjects like politics, religion, and sexuality, because people get offended easily talking about them. If someone asks your opinion, give it to them, but understand that others may have different viewpoints.
    • Respect everyone, no matter what they think or say. They are a person and deserve to be treated with respect. If you treat people well they will treat you the same. Don't be offensive just to try to look cool or like you don't care. You risk alienating people and sounding like you don't know what you're talking about.
  5. Find people who share your interests. Get up, move and join a group of classmates that has similar interests whether at lunch or at a party. In that environment, it would be easier to meet people and make friends. And it's fine if your friends don't have much in common with you as long as you both are happy and comfortable.
    • If your friends judge/don't approve of something you do, they aren't friends. Your friends should protect you and look out for your well-being (so they might not be cool with smoking cigarettes), but other than that, they support what you do.
    • Join clubs and other extracurriculars that you're interested in. If you want to paint, join the Art club. If you like debate, join the debate team. Don't worry about what people say or think about you. If you're confident about what you do, they'll look silly making fun of you.
    • Don't worry about what group you fit into. You don't have to define yourself the way other people define you. If you want to be a part of the skateboard crew, then start skateboarding, and don't listen to other people if they tell you you're not a skater.

Being Funny

  1. Tap into your inner humor. For many people, being funny is about calling attention to something strange or unexpected. But how do you do that? First of all, you have to trust that you know what's funny. Remember a time when you were funny and know that you can be that funny person again.
    • Find the things that make you laugh, because they have a good chance of making others laugh as well. Keep a note of all the really funny things that happen to you, or the really funny things that other people say. You'll get used to being around humor.
    • Find out why things make you laugh. Knowing how to make a joke depends on figuring out why something is funny. When somebody says or does something funny, ask yourself, Why is that funny? Become a student of humor.
    • Surround yourself with people who are funny. Those people can be your friends, or they can be actors you watch on TV. Whomever they are, get close to them; their comedy will rub off on you.
  2. Don't be afraid to make fun of yourself. Having a good sense of humor is all about being able to make fun of yourself. Look at stand-up comics: Practically all they do is make fun of something that they did or something that happened to them. If you can make fun of yourself (in a confident way) people will know that you have good self-esteem.
    • Practice self-deprecating humor. Self-deprecating humor is when you make fun of yourself in a playful way, and because you don't seem afraid of making mistakes others are less likely to be afraid of you criticising them. The following are some good examples of self-deprecating humor. Remember that these are more formal jokes; with your friends, try to use more casual jokes that call attention to what's funny about you.
      • "I went to the psychiatrist, and he says 'You're crazy.' I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, 'Okay, you're ugly too!'"
      • "I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why."
      • "I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother."
  3. Know that different situations are funny for different reasons. There are a lot of kinds of humor; knowing a wide range of humorous remarks is all about understanding what goes into being funny. Here are breakdowns of different kind of humor.
    • Expectation v. Reality. When we expect something, and we're given something completely different, we're surprised: "I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
    • Wordplay and puns. Playing around with language to make something sound slightly different from what we expect: "A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion."
    • One liners or comebacks. A quick word or sentence delivered to make a joke out of something someone said: One of your friends says "Isn't it weird that we only have hair on our heads and in our pubic areas?" The friend is not really even expecting a response. You say: "Speak for yourself."
  4. Practice, practice, practice. Being funny is an art, not a science. There's not one textbook that you can read and be done with it. Therefore, it's important to keep at it, learning how to be funny by trial and error.
    • Read comedy books and watch comedic movies. You can find lists of funny books and movies easily on the internet, or you can ask friends for their suggestions.
    • Practice jokes on your own. If you've never practiced any jokes before, ease into it: You don't want to suddenly bombard your classmates or friends with constant material. Try a joke here, or a joke there, and take note of what works. If it doesn't work, ask yourself what you need to do to make it funny.
    • Get back up when you fall down. Every funny person is going to make some unfunny jokes now and then. Often you can turn this into a further self deprecating joke. It doesn't mean that they're not funny. So don't be afraid of failing. The good news is that no one will remember your jokes unless they're actually funny!

Tips

  • People often underestimate how self-conscious other people are. When you interact with other people, remember that they can often make the conversation uncomfortable because of their own insecurities. The best thing to do is to be confident. Confidence gives you a greater vantage point in which to see the social inadequacies of other people.
  • Don't forget to give a listening ear and be open minded to understand just anyone.
  • Everybody likes some attention, (even the shy ones). Pay a little attention to people, and often they'll repay you warmly. It doesn't take much.
  • Be honest. Lying will make people not want to be your friend any more, because they will not trust you anymore.
  • Aim to get respect from other people instead of their approval. People are attracted to people who value themselves. If you are looking for other people's approval then you are implicitly saying that "I value this person's opinion of me, and valuation of me as my indication of worth." You have to value yourself and not seek anyone else's value assessment of you.
  • Start out slowly with people. Begin conversations with open-ended questions like, "How's it going?" and let the other person run with the conversation. Calibrate their initial response, to gauge whether they are responsive to more conversation.
  • Avoid prejudice, even among age. It is not impossible for a 20-year-old to be a friend to a 70-year-old. Don't limit your possibilities.
  • Don't try to say something just for the purpose of looking smart or funny. Most people would rather be friends with someone who comes off as being sincere, not someone just trying to show off. Make sure your humor comes naturally and isn't forced.
  • Surround yourself with other people and you will attract more people. People take shortcuts, and in the absence of spending hours with you to find out who you really are, they look to see that you are liked by other people (it's called social proof). As a result, they come to the conclusion, "if other people like you, then I suspect I can like you as well."
  • Surround yourself with people you want to be like.
  • Sometimes people need a little time. You might have to ask them "How are you?" and "What have have you been up to?" in succession before you get a deep enough response to bring about further conversation.
  • Do not get carried away and hurt someone's feeling!
  • Take care of yourself. And don't ever be someone you're not!
  • It is not necessary to accept the first person who comes along, as a friend. Judge them on their merits, not their appearance. In fact, don't judge much at all. Be cautious, however.
  • A great way to start a conversation with some one new is to ask advice. Everyone wants to show off a little and most likely they'll be happy to help.
  • Be Positive among your friends ,so that no one will think that you are self-contrary.
  • Don't forget about your other friends! Introduce them to each other. That way, you'll have more to talk about and your friends can make more friends, too.
  • Just being yourself doesn't guarantee you will become friends with the person on the opposite side of the social ladder. Still be yourself, though. Your friends will like you for who you are. If they don't, then they are not your true friends. Don't try to change yourself just to become friends with the most popular girl/boy in school.
  • It's easier to talk to people if you have shared an experience with them. Clearly the friends you have at the moment predominantly talk about interesting things they did in the past.
  • Do not be selfish. Many think if they are generous their friends would take advantage of them. This is an absurd paradox. If your friends were taking advantage of you, you would see right through them, and they should not be considered your friend!
  • Get a job. You'll be able to go out and do more things, and if you get a job, you'll meet more people there who have similar experiences.
  • If you are one of the shy people try to talk to a friend that you trust or you can just meet a new person that you think is cool and hang out with them,sometimes people just get a friend that is not shy and teach them not to be shy.
  • Don't be afraid to ask them for their Facebook, Myspace, AIM Screen Name, email address, phone number, etc. Its very important that you guys stay in contact if you want more friends.
  • Join different groups which hold regular events.
  • Just be yourself. You'll really feel good about it.
  • When trying to be funny make sure you are not being mean about others! Gossiping; even to friends can be risky, mean and hurtful however funny it may seem at the time .
  • If someone is shy they might just need someone else to start the conversation. Not all shy people want to be left alone. If they don't respond or don't look interested don't be deterred.

Warnings

  • Don't act too crazy or speak randomly about strange things that don't involve the conversation. Keep it calm and talk at a normal pace.

Related Articles

  • Socialize Offline
Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Socialize,_Be_Funny_and_Make_Friends&oldid=324903"