Be a Better Boyfriend
Maintaining a healthy relationship takes patience and effort, especially as the "honeymoon phase" starts to wear off. If you are worried that your boyfriend abilities have been slacking lately, or if you simply want to learn how to be an even better boyfriend, this article will point you in the right direction!
Contents
Steps
Creating a Balanced Relationship
- Be honest. If something is bothering you about the relationship, then let your girlfriend know. Be sure to do this gently so that she doesn't feel like you're criticizing her. If you need or want something, don't be afraid to tell her that! If something is bothering outside of the relationship and you need to be alone for a little while, or you need to vent, you should let her know!
- In return, ask her if there is anything that she wishes you would do that you haven't been doing. This will keep both parties happy.
- Let her know if you are in a bad mood and need to be alone. For example, if you are annoyed because you had a bad day at work, then tell her that rather than taking out your frustration on her. This will prevent her from thinking you are mad at her or have lost interest in the relationship.
- Don't cheat on your girlfriend. Even if she finds out and forgives you, it will be much harder for her to trust you in the future, which will undoubtedly lead to trouble down the road. Remember why you decided to be with her in the first place, and resist the temptation to chase after other women.
- If you find yourself constantly tempted to cheat, then you might want to reevaluate your relationship. Everybody's mind wanders every now and then, but constantly lusting after other women is a sign that something is wrong. Figure out whether you are really ready for a monogamous relationship with this person.
- If you do cheat, then tell your girlfriend. For some women, the lying aspect is even worse than the cheating aspect. Find the right time and place to let her know gently, and apologize for your mistake. While this may be difficult, covering up an infidelity will undoubtedly drive a wedge in your relationship, especially if she finds out from somebody else down the road.
- Be genuine. Don't do or say things to your girlfriend just to make her happy if you don't mean them. This may please her temporarily, but it will ultimately cause trouble in the relationship because you are not being totally honest.
- Don't make promises that you can't keep. Give the relationship time to grow, and only make commitments that you feel comfortable with. If you think it's too soon for her to meet your family, then don't invite her over for Thanksgiving dinner. While relationships require a healthy balance, constantly compromising your own happiness for hers will only lead you to resent her in the future.
- Express your feelings. Don't be afraid of letting your girlfriend know how wonderful you think she is! This will make her feel special and loved.
- Be sweet, but don't smother her. Try to compliment your girlfriend and give her the attention she deserves without getting too controlling, obsessive, or needy.
- Know how to talk to her. Give your girlfriend your undivided attention, especially when having a serious conversation. It is not only respectful, but it will show her that you care about what she is saying.
- Keep the conversation balanced. Don't be overly talkative or overly quiet. If you are overly talkative, your girlfriend will feel like you care more about yourself than you do about her. If you are overly quiet, your girlfriend might get bored with you or think that you have lost interest in her.
Keeping the Magic Alive
- Make romantic gestures. Whether it is surprising her by cooking her favorite dinner or sending her flowers at work, small gestures like these show your girlfriend that she is on your mind and that you care for her.
- Compliment her. Every woman needs to be reminded of how beautiful, smart, funny, or interesting she is. Don't stop complimenting her just because you have "won her over" and are already in a committed relationship. Do it because you mean it, and because it will make her feel more confident and loved.
- Be open about sex. Maintaining a healthy sex life will help keep the relationship alive. If you are worried that the sex is getting boring or that your girlfriend is unsatisfied with the sex, then maturely bring up the subject with her.
- While this may feel awkward or difficult at first, it will be well worth it in the long run if it improves your sex life!
- Wait for the appropriate moment. Don't bring up the issue in public, in front of other people, or in a joking manner. Joking about the topic might make your girlfriend feel embarrassed or insecure.
Dealing with Difficult Patches
- Learn to know when something is wrong. The following are signs that your relationship is suffering:
- You are fighting more than usual.
- She hasn't contacted you in several days.
- Either one of you has totally lost interest in sex. (Remember that this could be due to a variety of factors, like a death in the family, personal insecurities, or excess stress).
- She continuously cancels plans without suggesting a different date.
- One of you has been dating/sleeping with somebody else.
- One of you suggests a "break." No matter what either of you says, a break is usually just a segue into an official break-up.
- Either one of you has become physically abusive. If this is the case, then it's time to end the relationship and seek professional help to cope with the issue. Never make an excuse for domestic violence.
- Talk about the issue with your girlfriend. The only way to fix a problem in any relationship is for both parties to first be made aware of the issue. Remember that sometimes people are totally unaware of their own behavior.
- Reach a compromise. Once you have talked about the issue at hand and have both voiced your views and opinions, come to an agreement about what to do next. Come up with something that both parties can get on board with and feel comfortable with.
- If you can't reach an agreement, then consider couples therapy. Getting the opinion of a third party will help put things in perspective and allow you to rationally sort of the issue from an objective standpoint.
- Know when the relationship can't be fixed. If you or your girlfriend are chronically unhappy in the relationship, then don't force things. Making healthy compromises to keep a relationship alive is one thing, but making yourself miserable to maintain the status quo will not do either of you any good.
- Be patient. Some issues just need a little time to blow over. If you recently had a big fight, give each other space for a day or two. Chances are that the issue will resolve itself, and being apart will remind you both how much you care for one another.
Tips
- Be patient during rough patches. Every relationship has its ups and downs; don't give up on the relationship just because things feel tense or awkward for a couple of days. If you do the right things, you will get through it.
- Never compare your girlfriend to an ex, whether it is meant to be a compliment or a criticism. This will give the impression that your ex-girlfriend is still on your mind.
- Remember that all women are different. Just because something worked on your ex girlfriend, doesn't necessarily mean it will work with your current girlfriend.
- In any relationship, you should treat the other person as you would like them to treat you. Living by this rule will help you learn to treat your loved ones with the respect that they deserve.
- Males can be a victim of domestic violence too! If you are being violently abused, don't retaliate. Instead, talk to someone who you trust.
