Be the Nice Guy and Still Get the Girl
How to be a nice guy and not wait forever for the girl you want. Follow these steps and you could find yourself on the way to getting the girl.
Steps
- Be yourself. If you like who you are, then stay that way. Don't change for other people. The girl who is really worth your while will love you for who you are, what you've accomplished in your life, and nothing else.
- Start off slow. Talk to her about simple things. Some examples can be what music she likes, what she likes to do with her time, what she does over the summer. Don't ask these one after another, spend time on each topic, maintaining an interest in what she is saying. Remember, this is a lengthy process, so don't screw it up early by wanting to rush. Once you've kept up with this for a while, you can start getting a little more personal about the things you speak about.
- Keep talking. Girls like guys that can be honest and talk about things in their lives.
- They also need a person to listen to them and the things they say.
- If she wants to talk for hours, tell your friends you're busy tonight. Making yourself available to talk is a great way to show her you're there for her. All though you're not dating, she'll be comforted knowing she has a person she can talk to. Obviously, it will take some time before she confides completely in you. Girls are naturally skeptical about trusting guys with the truth about themselves at first.
- Take the first step. If you are comfortable with the girl, and you feel that you can trust her, help her to be able to trust you. Before you do this next step, make sure that she has confided in you a few things about herself. Once this is done, set a date. Don't be too forward. If she has done what was previously been stated, you will not be rejected.
- Don't be the bad guy. Girls, as much as you don't believe it, like the guy who listens to them more than the tough guy. Yes, they want to feel protected physically, but nothing beats being emotionally protected. This is very important.
- Once you have the date, keep your composure. Don't be nervous. You've talked with this girl for a while now, and you've let her know the kind of person you are.
- She was willing to go out with that person, so don't be nervous. You're in a good spot.
- Remember, though, the first date does not mean you're committed to each other only. If you play everything right, when you say goodnight, you make the determination of the kiss goodnight.
- If you feel that you've bonded go for it.
- Don't be hasty. Lean in slowly and close your eyes. Go almost completely all the way to her lips, and wait for her to meet you there. Don't go all the way, this might scare her off. Give her some room and time to make the decision. Go about 85-90% of the way.
- Once you get this kiss, you've basically sealed a second date. Tell her that you had a wonderful night, and say that exactly. Don't deviate, don't worry about sounding corny, she'll love it.
- Don't change anything. You're now in the honeymoon period, where you have some time to get used to each other. This is the time that you do the cute things of the relationship. Come up with a song together that you can label as "Our song." Some great ones can be "I could not ask for more" by Edwin McCain, "Something Coming Over", by O.A.R., "Breathing", by Lifehouse, "Amazed", by Lonestar. These are only examples, you can choose yourself, this is just a guide for what you should look for. Also, if you have a band you both mutually are really into, try to choose a song by that band. Make sure to read the lyrics and understand the song before you pick though. Some songs can be deceiving with their meanings.
- Never leave, hang up, or sign off angry. One thing that happens a lot after the honeymoon period, is that you'll notice little things your significant other does that bother you. Don't call her out on them, it will cause a fight and you don't want that.
- Always compliment her. Although you may get tired of saying it, she'll never tire of hearing it. Girls love being complimented on everything about them. Let them hear it every single day.
- Know when to move forward. This is probably the most important step of them all. Don't mention sex for a while. Your friends might tease you about it, and ride you for a while about it. But they'll never have as amazing of a relationship as you, because you are the gentleman.
- After a few months, maybe casually bring it up. Always have a talk about it before trying ANYTHING. She'll want to talk about it. Especially if she's seen how you care for her, and would never use her for anything.
- Talk about how you do not want to rush her and you do not want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. Tell her that you will wait until she is ready, even if it means waiting years. She'll appreciate these words.
- Don't constantly bring it up. Let her tell you when she is ready. Make sure she gets birth control and you wear a condom before having sex. You don't want her first experience to be ruined by worries and tears.
- She'll tell you that she is ready, and even then, ask her once or twice if she's sure, because you realize it's a big step in the relationship.
- Be romantic about it. She won't like it if her first time is in a car or in a bathroom at the movies. Her house would be the best. She'll feel comfortable with her surroundings. Light a few candles to set the mood.
- Be the guy that is there for girls, whether it's a friend or your girlfriend. Be nice, be a gentleman, and you won't regret it.
Tips
- Always shower before seeing her.
- Girls like it when guys are sweet, so do lots of nice things for her, and call her sweet, too.
- Constantly compliment her on her looks, smell, clothing, etc.
- Dress nicely for her parents.
- Come up with a unique nickname for her. Make sure that she's okay with it, and isn't embarrassed when you call her by it.
- Don't be a jealous boyfriend.
- Meet her friends and make them like you using similar techniques you used on your girlfriend. It's likely shes shared with her friends what a great guy you are, so you won't have to do much.
- The Nice Guy approach works best for women over the age of 25. For girls in the 17-24 range, try being more aloof and complimenting a little less often.
- Try to have some humor that makes her laugh. Find the humor in you that you can show out to people.
Warnings
- Don't be a conformist bending over to everything she wants. It's okay to be flexible, but don't loose yourself. Sometimes she might not like something you do, if she gets upset, talk about it. Listen to her frustrations in a respectful manner and don't react negatively, and her doing the same; have this agreement on putting all the cards on the table even if it might hurt the other; it might have rough patches but it pays off. That is true for all the unusually good relationships I know/heard of.
- Don't smoke or drink if she doesn't like it.
- Do not act like a tough guy.
- Do not swear.
- Do not rush into sex.
