Capture Joie De Vivre

"Joie de vivre" (or the "joy of living") is an expression for a rare quality that simply shines forth in some people, an ability to love life to its fullest and to reflect this in both personality and deed. Unfortunately, for many of us the hustle and bustle of everyday life can wear us down to a pile of complaints so that all we see is the less joyful side of things, and we sidestep joie de vivre under piles of duty, worries, and the occasional catastrophe. Yet, recapturing love and enthusiasm for simple things in life, a quality that came effortlessly to us as children, is important for our sense of well-being and fulfillment. It is not about being 'happy', a word rooted from happenstance, fully dependent on the situation. But being joyful comes from something deep down.

Joie de vivre cannot be bought, nor can it be sourced from an endless obsession for acquiring things we don't yet possess; and it most certainly cannot be found in increasing our work obligations without really thinking about where doing this takes us. Joie de vivre is about unburdening ourselves from want, and rediscovering the simple joys of life and of noticing that small things that matter. Inspiring your joie de vivre begins here.

Steps

  1. Acknowledge joy, or the Find Joy in Life. There is no need to over-analyze joy; to do so is to unnecessarily complicate it. Joy is simply about realizing that the moment you're in right now is special, wondrous, and beautiful. So rejoice (joy) in the things that life has given to you to enjoy, and do just that... enjoy them.
    • Moments of joy can be found in just about anything, including the mundane. Share the sight of something special such as a rainbow with another person, enjoy a spontaneous hug from a child, watch the joy in a pet's enthusiasm at your return home, savor the burble of the coffee maker in the morning, relish the moment you get to curl up with a new book by a favorite author, and feel sheer happiness when someone you love says your name.
  2. Slow down. A frantic, hectic, and over-scheduled life has little time for joy because joy and busy are uneasy partners; while a certain amount of being busy is healthy and fulfilling, being too busy all the time leaves little room for joy. Be careful not to be so busy that being occupied is all about self-importance; that is simply missing the point of life.
    • Triage all crises. If it's financial, it's only money and being alive is more important than trying to keep up. If that comes from debt, consider long term lifestyle changes that will reduce your everyday financial burden to the point where you can begin to pay off your bills - but always budget a small proportion of your money for unplanned pleasures. Even if the only shopping you do is for groceries, reserving 10% of the grocery budget for impulse items and making the decision on the spot between various treats that are on sale make a tight budget sustainable in a way that absolute self denial isn't. You can make room for pleasure in any and every necessary expense - and if you're not getting pleasure out of spending that money, then why pour more into that at all?
    • If the crises and chronic trouble are emotional, examine your relationships. Choose to spend more time with the people who leave you feeling joyful, warm, loving and appreciated, spend less time with people who are sour, bitter, ruthlessly competitive or disruptive. Budget your social time reasonably and remember that is a matter of choice.
    • If the crises and chronic trouble are physical, find joy in what you have in reach, in any moment of relief. Pay attention to the days your health isn't as bad as usual or you can manage to do a little more than before. Count your successes no matter how small and treat anything else as failed trials that taught you something, if only that certain types of weather are better for sleeping it off than trying to do anything productive.
    • Joie de vivre is about both recognizing special moments, and giving yourself the time to savor them when they occur, as well as giving yourself the space to process or reflect on special moments in your life.
  3. Accept and revel in the fact that you're not perfect. No one even agrees on what "perfect" is - the same person can be obnoxiously crazy to some people and fun-crazy life of the party to others. Most of us are disgruntled and obsessed with real (and some imagined) negative aspects of our lives which tend to dominate our outlook and mar the happiness we'd otherwise find in simple things. It helps to remember that however perfect appearances may be, all of us, without exception, have some low points and flaws to us. They are often also our strengths and sometimes the reverse of what you think you are. A neat freak who constantly worries about being sloppy is still a neat freak in everyone else's eyes. Everyone has problems even if they're not visible; some of us are just more clever at hiding them than others (and possibly even from ourselves). Being either consciously or unwittingly influenced by feeling that attractiveness and Achieve Perfection is something we buy by way of fitness training, grooming products, clothing, or other external symbols of getting "there" leads us to never feel joy, only a relentless urge to acquire, achieve, and accumulate well beyond what we find fulfilling. Accept that nobody is perfect, and you don't have to be either. No one is ever rich enough, thin enough or "good enough" to that competitive outlook. What would happen to your morale if every time someone criticized you, you gave it the kind of doubt that you're used to giving compliments, but every time someone gave you a compliment, you assumed it was true the way people usually do anything critical? Both are as likely to be true or untrue, but the compliments leave you feeling better and likelier to return them in kind. Give them often, they don't cost you anything.
    • Just as it isn't possible to buy a new self, it isn't possible to buy joy.
  4. See the wonder in people and find miracles and joy in everyday things. We get used to things and people being the way they are; all this "taking for granted" keeps on doing circles around us, causing us to lose sight of the wonders in our life: our health, our strengths, our family, our Close the Achievement Gap, our hobbies, and the beautiful world around us. When infusing life with joie de vivre, see the familiar with new eyes. Take time to notice more around you and to remind yourself how miraculous everything truly is. There are beautiful small wildflowers growing between the cracks of every sidewalk. There is always the sky in its ever changing panoply. There's cracks in paint that look like clowns or elephants. Pay attention to these things and give them a smile, you'll notice them more often. Even more if you point them out to friends.
    • When this seems hard, repeat Einstein's quote to yourself: There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
  5. Feel adequate. Always tell yourself that you can do it and that you will make it. All those people holding you back? They're in your head, not in your physical way. When you believe them, you make it possible for them to keep you down. If you think that there are people who have all the character, lifestyle, and objects you'd like to have, your joie de vivre will plummet because you're longing for something others have and you're telling yourself you only deserve these if you match up. The thing is – you already do match up – and what's more, if you persist in always finding the joy in life, you'll surpass those people who "have it all" but are miserable. Hold your head high, flaunt your personal assets; be proud of what you have already accomplished and the person you are.
  6. Put aside the ego and embrace the community of Relationships around you. Take the first step to build and sustain relationships - send that birthday card, be the one to plan a reunion or send a conciliatory e-mail to someone long lost to you. When you come right down to it, for most of us, if we go down memory lane, our fondest and most touching memories involve people and relationships – not objects, not crises, not "perfect moments". Being too busy is just an excuse; losing touch with that special high school friend or a kind teacher who has affected you profoundly is a loss of joy. Regain the joy by getting back in touch again; it will be well worth it to genuinely surrender yourself to Have a Loving Relationship, friends, and life.
    • Sometimes things may not work out; at least you tried and your sense of joy won't be diminished because you did your best. You are a winner for that, and as the cliché says, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
    • If you meet someone new who you think is cool, don't be afraid to speak up and get to know them. Making new friends in a new situation such as a job or after relocation is a skill - it can be learned and enriches life as much as tracking down lost relationships. Do they love cats? Do they like the same kind of coffee you do? Is that someone wearing your favorite band on a t-shirt in the dog park? When you notice someone who seems cool, strike up a conversation on what you can see you have in common and see where it goes from there.
  7. Rediscover your wit. Not the biting sarcastic self who feels defensive, superior and backed into a corner. Rather, the wit of intelligent, amusing discussions peppered with jokes, perceptive observations, and humor. Wit will strengthen your impact on others and it will help to lighten up tense occasions. It is a certain way of injecting more joie de vivre into your life.
    • Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. Such flexibility will ensure that you don't turn brittle and break all too easily when people point out your less finer points. By acknowledging your weaknesses with humor, you disable any potential critic because you got there first and treated it with amused joy.
    • Think about something that happened to you in the past that has left a sour impression in your memory. Now, try hard to find the funny side to it. Keep trying until you find something. And practice this habit frequently so that you can start to break down some of the icky memories and turn them into funny moments. Comedian Christopher Titus said it best: "I want to hear your pain. I really do. Just put it in joke form."
  8. Make eye contact with people and smile more often. Look into another’s eyes with love and curiosity. If you've long since lost touch with anything other than deadlines and pressing appointments, and feel that people only let you down, learning to look at people with trust and openness can take time but do persevere because it'll turn your world around 360 degrees. After awhile it will become a natural part of your personality and even the forced smile will turn genuine. One way to do this is to stop looking at trust and openness as "all or nothing." Anyone you don't know could be fun to be around. Everything after that is exploring in small steps and stages of getting to know them, to find out how close you want to be with them. It may be no more than "Good morning" as you pass each other at work or could grow into the best friendship of your life - contrary to myth, those don't always happen only in high school or college. You won't know who's which until you've known them long enough.
    • Some people might not smile back or look you in the eyes with kindness or thoughtfulness – and that’s okay. Let it go and pay more attention to someone else who's responding more, you don't know if that's the day they got the divorce papers or they're walking around with a tooth abscess. It’s about your genuine intent and not about them validating you. One day you will clash smiles with a mischievous cherubic child or a toothy old man with eyes that speak of eternal wisdom and kindness and you will be gripped with a sense of profound human bonding which will rock your world.
  9. Make time for yourself. Do something that makes you feel alive and just plain happy. Even if you're the busiest soccer mom in town, a high flyer salesman, or juggling two jobs to make ends meet, time for yourself is vital. You and your happiness are important. Get in touch with yourself even if it's just one hour every week. Fly a kite, get working on that old unfinished project at the back of your closet or go Get VIP Tickets for the play that you’ve always wanted to see.
    • Don’t feel guilty, you’re worth the indulgence - lose yourself in the moment and forget about schedules and budgets. Your family will appreciate the good mood that you'll be in later. If you're happy, they will be a lot better off than if you're sacrificing everything for them with multiple sighs and total emotional exhaustion.
  10. Be consistent about keeping fit. There's no need to aim to be a world class athlete or to have the body of a Las Vegas show girl. Most of us feel better about ourselves and are more confident when we incorporate some form of exercise routine in our lives. Consistency is key and amount is not. Try to combine it with things you enjoy - nature walking, martial arts, or belly dancing. Don’t have the time? Even sit-ups or Pilates for 10 minutes three times a week can change your life. Don't think so? Then you haven't yet tried. Bump up your joy factor with regular physical engagement.
    • Check out some good work-out DVDs from your local library; if you borrow them and hate them, you can keep borrowing until you find one you do like! If you don't like calisthenics, then find some other activity that's physical like bird watching, outdoor painting, vigorous dancing, skateboarding, live action role playing... don't waste your time and body energy on something that isn't a pleasure in itself.
    • If you're physically disabled and can't do any or most of the traditional sports and physical activities, be creative and find ways to enjoy yourself that are within your range. Jogging might be out of it but a slow stroll using your cane or a ramble outdoors in a power chair are a lot better than just laying around frustrated. Build up gradually and stop if it hurts, especially if you've got back trouble.
    • As a previous non-exerciser, you may feel lousy starting physical activities but start gradually and build up. Ultimately, the adrenalin rush will reward you with joy aplenty.
    • Get lots of fresh air, regularly. Even if all you do is stand in it and inhale and exhale deeply, fresh air is good for you, it enlivens you, and is an important part of being healthy. Breathe in the fresh air and breathe in joie de vivre. If you live in a polluted urban environment where that's in short supply, try to get out of town once in a while to get some fresh air that's a lot cleaner.
  11. Learn something new. Extend yourself beyond the known every few months; the initial awkwardness is good for you and it soon turns to joy as you begin to master something totally new to you. Make time to try something you’ve always admired and wanted to be able to do. And remember – you don’t need to become an expert in it; just being a part of the learning process will re-energize you. That exotic new language you wish you knew or that glamorous world of Latin dance that you wish you were a part of - this is the time to participate and find new joys.
    • You do not need to have some mysterious society-gifted Talent to take up painting, drawing, dancing, singing, music, novel-writing, stand up comedy, poetry (either writing it or reciting it), amateur theatre or anything else in the arts. You'll start off as a raw beginner making the same goofy mistakes as any beginner, punctuated with occasional flashes of brilliance. The more you savor and appreciate those moments you get it right, the more you'll practice and the more often they'll come. At some point in taking it up just for fun, people who barely know you will start going on and on about how Talented you are. Don't deny it when they do, just smile and tell them you were a late bloomer. Talent is enjoying what you're doing so much that you can stand the practice before you get good at it!
  12. Put more music into your life. Get some new CDs or downloads, or take a voice or Study an Unusual Musical Instrument lesson. For most human beings, music stirs the soul and if the music is good enough, it can even catapult us to throes of ecstasy. Music eases the tension of daily life, such as during a traffic jam, breaking the monotony of everyday cooking, or doing your chores. Listen to music that makes your heart sing.
    • You don’t have to be good at music to enjoy it. Have you always been told that you're tone-deaf? Don’t worry – besides the fact that those poor souls probably do not know how to live and be happy, it really does not matter! Love music your way.
    • If music doesn’t do it for you, try to find a type of music that does move you. There is such a wide variety - you just might discover one you like if you look. Like many things, music is also an acquired interest and yet when you find something that strikes a chord, it could be life changing for you. Sort out what it is you like about the songs you do and what you don't like about the ones you don't. You might surprise yourself if it's not the same as the usual genre categories. Some people care about lyrics and what they mean. Some people just don't like fast music or slow music, or don't like a certain beat or certain instruments no matter what the category is. When you know your tastes it'll be easier to find the music you like.
    • Do not be embarrassed at liking the music you do. If you groove to the rock of the sixties instead of anything later, get those vintage collections and check out the stacks of old vinyl in used music stores. If you love horror movie sound tracks, get into those and don't worry about whether other people think you're creepy for it. Remember, there's just as many interesting people who love your music out there as people who hate it, think of your musical tastes as a way to find people you think of as cool.
  13. Surround yourself with beauty. Beauty penetrates your inner realm, so looking your best, keeping your home space beautiful, and making your workspace brighter all have an impact on your inner feelings. Take pride in your appearance no matter what shape or size you are. Appearances aren't even appearances - dress to express what you believe and define who you are socially and people will assume you're built like that archetype. Flaunt your positives and hold your head high. Even if all you have is five minutes to get ready before heading out into the world, you can organize and teach yourself to maximize the time to look better. Same goes for your home. Living in a place that inspires you puts you in a better frame of mind. There is nothing vain about it when you’re doing it for yourself.
    • Seek beauty in your environment. When renting an apartment, look at the façade of the building. Do you think it's cool? Is it quirky and unique, does it have character and stand out as a place you'd like to live? Look out the windows as you're judging your new place to live. Do you have a view? Do you like the view? These things are worth far more than you can imagine in day to day happiness.
    • Seek out museums on their free days, go to free concerts in the park, look for beauty and culture wherever you are on the socio-economic scale. Take walks in historic areas where you live, go enjoy the tourist attractions. Visit the zoo and spend time with the animals you find the most beautiful. Surf virtual museums online and study the history of art, find areas of art history and culture that interest you. Just appreciating these things can bring much greater happiness in life.
  14. Have fun. Trite? In this case, absolutely not! Having fun makes total sense when you're aiming to bring joie de vivre into your life. Having fun means you're happy, and fun to be with. It's also good for you; a good laugh is similar to an internal workout with the end result that you're flooded with feel-good chemicals. In turn, these chemicals boost your immune system, which leaves you feeling a whole lot better.
    • Have a good laugh. Try some laughter yoga.
    • Play with children. Children know how to have fun innately. And if you happen to meet a sad child, make it your mission to show this child how to have fun!
    • If you don't actually like children, go find some fun loving adults and do childish things with them rather than taking care of actual kids who need care and have defensive parents who get scared of that loony adult stranger with the crayons. It's okay to let out your inner child among other people's inner children, it can even be a lot more fun since you're too big for the schoolyard bullies to get at you now.
    • Play some games in the park with your friends. Have picnic and dress up like Alice from Wonderland or other favorite story characters.
    • Head down to the beach and wriggle your bare feet right down into the wet sand. Do it again, and again, and again. Shout out to the world "I am wonderful! I am free!"



Tips

  • Learn to overcome feeling inhibited and shy. Make free, demonstrative and open expressions of emotion. Hug somebody and hug more often – your dog, your child, your friend, or your co-worker. It helps develop a feeling of empathy and oneness in the world. Since our emotions are so tied to those around us, caring freely for others helps deliberately eliminate negative emotions and create positive ones. On the same note, accept and rejoice in the love you receive. Open up to the world and be available to them.
  • Joy is something we can create in ourselves if we want it badly enough and pursue it relentlessly. It can be fabricated consciously and deliberately; make that choice to do so.
  • This may seem like a no-brainer, but choose an occupation that you love doing, whatever it is. This matters so much in life. You spend most of your waking hours earning a living, most people do anyway. It's also rarely too late to start, only a very few things like baseball and ballet peak at an early age. If you're between jobs, there's no better time to think seriously about what you actually love doing and what kinds of jobs involve doing it. Do you love to drive? Think about driving a cab or bus. Do you love food? Think about chef school. Were you once a kid that loved dirt and big machines? Garbage collectors are sometimes happier than bank managers. If it's in the arts, there's some learning curve involved but you can make it if you give it the time and practice.
  • Take time to converse with those around you - the person at the counter at the coffee shop, the door man at your building. Take joy in simple greetings. People around us whom we ignore on a daily basis or take for granted are just like us – living, breathing entities who have more in common with us than we know until we care to find out.
  • Read the success stories of ordinary people and keep in mind that most famous people and achievers were once ordinary people like you. The world is full of courageous and determined people of all ages who have beaten odds and achieved their dreams and goals. Learning about them will infuse you with hope in life, in the future and in yourself. Chasing your dream or your bucket list gives you something to live for. It's a common myth that extraordinary people are only the ones that make it to the news - they're usually people living very high stress, high profile lives while you may be someone far more memorable to those who know you. Quality is far more important than quantity when it comes to friends and acquaintances.

Warnings

  • There will always be detractors and those who are only too enthusiastic to rain on your parade. Remember, rude people are mostly misguided souls who are suffering inside. You might not know or feel it, but it is the truth because when people send out negative vibrations, it is always a reflection of their inner turmoil or a consequence of their bitter life experiences. So it is more about themselves than about you, and compassion is your best defense.
  • You may experience disappointments and heartaches when chasing your dreams. If you didn't, then you should be suspicious! The key is to maintain your hope and faith that things will work out for you. When you talk to people who have realized their most cherished goals, they will tell you that the journey is what has enriched them the most and that when things seem totally lost is the moment when things often make the most sense and provide the momentum you need to win through. Live in the moment and seize the joy.

Things You'll Need

  • Abundant joy

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