Simplify Your Life

Simplifying doesn't need to be complicated. Learning to create a quieter, more balanced space in your life can help immensely, and taking little steps is the best way to make it happen. Eliminating clutter, getting organized, simplifying your relationships, and learning to take the time to slow down and appreciate the little things can help to keep you sane. You can start today.

Steps

Eliminating Clutter

  1. Decide what stuff is unnecessary. Simplifying doesn't need to be complicated: Identify what's most important to you and eliminate everything else. Imagine you had to pack everything you owned in an hour to move across the country for ten years, or for the rest of your life. What would you take? What would be essential? Cut your possessions down to the bare essentials and get rid of everything that’s merely taking up space.
    • If you tend toward hoarding for nostalgic or emotional reasons, try to evaluate your attachment to stuff. Start a "get rid of" pile of things and take them immediately to the thrift store to donate. Old candlesticks that haven't seen a candle since Reagan was in office? Toss them. Stack of Billboard Magazine from the mid-70s? Toss it.
    • In general, if you have not used an object in 18 months, you are likely not going to.
    • Is it something that actually makes your happy? Some objects may be valuable, but does not really make you happy to use or have. This includes gifts. Your great-aunt may have meant well giving you her old china cabinet, but you have neither china nor does it fit in your life.
  2. Do quick cleans. Walk through your house with a big basket. Fill it with necessaries. Crank up something good on the stereo and give yourself 15 minutes to de-clutter and see how much you can get done. Throw away garbage, gather clothes and put them in the laundry. Be judicious. If it's not necessary, throw it in the garbage.
    • Focus on the high-traffic areas, like the living room and the kitchen. If dishes are piled up in the sink, you'll feel stressed out and messy, even if the rest of the house is clean-looking and tidy. If you've only got a little bit of time, focus on the most important spaces.
    • Don't worry about getting the dirt out of every corner and "cleaning" every surface. Just focus on tidying. Put things away, straighten things up, make the place look right.
  3. Do big cleans every season. A couple times every year, you should do a more thorough cleaning to get rid of accumulated stuff and simplify your living space, as well as cleaning the house of dirt and grime. Pet hair, dust, and other debris can accumulate in even the tidiest spaces, making it important to do thorough cleaning: Vacuum, shampoo the carpet, clean the toilets, scrub the walls, wash the windows. Get the dirt out!
    • Go through desks and clear out the paper archives, too. Clean out drawers to get rid of that hidden clutter. Move toward eliminating paper waste and digitizing important documents. This will simplify your living space. Go paperless.
  4. Shrink your wardrobe. Find your favorite, most versatile clothing items and donate the rest. If it's worn out, get rid of it. If it doesn't fit anymore, get it to someone who can wear it. If you've always meant to wear it but just never seem to find the occasion, give it up. Pare down what is in your closet.
    • If you’ve got a big war-chest of clothes that you're attached to, consider simplifying by season. There’s no reason you should be digging through sweaters in the middle of summer, so pack up all your seasonal clothes in separate tubs and put them away until that season rolls around. Out of sight, out of mind.
    • Throw "Naked Lady" parties or other get-togethers in which you can all throw old or ill-fitting clothes into a pile with a bunch of friends and trade. Maybe that pair of jeans doesn't work for you anymore but would look great on someone else. Anything that's left at the end of the night, donate.
  5. Stop buying new things you do not really need. Just because you found a good deal on something does not make it necessary to buy. Simplify by stopping the additional accumulation of junk in your life.
    • Before you buy anything new, ask yourself:[1]
      • "Do I really need this?"
      • "Is there a sustainable alternative?"
      • "Do I have a family member or friend who already provides this service or product?"
    • Avoid buying new books. If you read a book, and will re-read it, by all means buy that book. But most books people read once, and that is it. Instead, go to the library. You will have more space for things you actually use.
    • Avoid buying new housewares - make do with what you have. If you need a new microwave, that is one thing. But instead of a pastry cutter, simply using two knives you already have will save space. Alton Brown famously promotes that the only "uni-tasker" in the kitchen should be the fire extinguisher.
    • Research rental options in your town. Consider renting a leaf blower that you use only once in fall, rather than buying one. Tool-libraries are increasingly common, allowing you to use what you need for a short time, then return it.
      • The flip side of this is to share what you have with your friends, family, and neighbors. If you start this practice, you may reduce the need to buy, store, and organize so many tools and "conveniences."
  6. Downsize. Have a small but comfortable home and learn to live with less. Buy less, savor quality more, and put the spare money in the savings account for a rainy day or a reward vacation.
    • Consider renting rather than buy a home or items you need to use. Then the repairs, rates, and dry rot are someone else's problem, not yours.
    • Own fewer items but make sure that what you do own has greater versatility. Objects able to do double or even triple duty are the most desirable. Remember that working to pay for objects is not an ideal approach to living happily; review your priorities.
  7. Create white space. Having empty space in your home, your room, or your office can help to relax you and create a feeling of simplicity. Don't clutter your walls with entertaining stuff, let the emptiness be calming and elegant. Let simplicity trump adornment.
    • White space doesn't need to be "white." If you don't like the feeling of a sterile, super-clean living space, then natural wood, exposed brick, or other patterns are perfectly simple and effective at relaxing you. White space doesn't have to actually be white, just free of clutter. No shelving, movie posters, or hanging frames. Simple lines and clean empty spaces on the walls.
  8. Make your bed every day. It only takes five minutes and it can do wonders to change your mood. Your bedroom looks much more elegant, simple and tidy with the bed made and cleaned up. Taking little steps like making the bed can help to de-stress you and simplify your life.
    • If it's simpler for you to leave your sheets in a pile, so be it. The point is taking little steps to simplify your experience of the day. Maybe instead you spend meditative time making your coffee every morning, grinding the beans, heating the water, and pouring it into the press pot. Maybe you start the day by tidying the kitchen and listening to the radio. Have a routine.

Getting Organized

  1. Plan what you can, or embrace your inner chaos. For some of us, there’s no point in thinking about planning for a trip until the hour before you’re about to leave the house. What’s the use in stressing out for three days over packing? Alternatively, others have to lay out every day’s wardrobe in advance, calculating the benefits of every item, until you can be confident that you’ve got everything you need.
    • If you tend toward procrastination, don't tell yourself you need to change your ways, unless it's getting in the way of your productivity or your ability to finish things on time. If it works for you, it works. Make sure you schedule enough last-minute time to finish tasks, and you'll let those deadlines produce your best work. Simple and easy.
    • If you stress about unfinished tasks, do them ahead of time to put them out of your mind. Don't abandon the packing half-way because you started early–finish it off and call it done. Simplify by doing it now, getting it done, and relaxing. Simple and relaxed.
  2. Split household chores evenly. A common source of complication and stress is a messy living space and disorganized methods of handling it. Finding the time to do the laundry, wash all the dishes, cook meals, and take care of other essential chores can be a big hassle if you don't go about it in a simple, organized way. Get together with your family or your housemates and agree on simple ways to divide up the chores and simplify the work around the house.[2]
    • Separate tasks by day. Make everyone contribute to the litter-box cleaning and the laundry-doing, but not every day. Let someone take the messy jobs for a while and switch over to other jobs for a while on a rolling basis. Write up a schedule everyone agrees on and post it in the kitchen for simple, easy access.
    • Separate tasks by preference. For example, if you just can't stand doing the laundry and tend to let it pile up, strike a deal with your roommates — if they handle the laundry, you'll agree to cook a big meal for everyone three nights a week (when they've got to work late) or to consistently wash the dishes. Find a way to balance things for your situation.
  3. Streamline your finances. Nothing gets more complicated than money. If you can, simplify your finances as much as possible by consolidating your debts and creating as few payments as possible for each month. Create a budget, based on how much money you've got coming in every month, and calculate your average expenditures of known and estimated amounts. Stick to the plan and spending gets simpler.
    • Set your bills up to debit automatically from your account. If you've budgeted accurately, you should never have to worry about paying bills again. What could be simpler?
    • Make saving money your default. If you're not sure how to approach the task of simplifying your finances, err on the side of saving. The less you spend, the less you're thinking about money.
  4. Keep in mind the adage: "A place for everything, and everything in it's place." Assigning a place for each object simplifies life dramatically. It is a key component in making a space less frustrating, more beautiful and pleasurable.
    • It creates calm. If keys go in the key bowl by the doorway, it prevents last-minute panics for finding them. This creates calmness and gives you power in a chaotic world.
    • Your space is more pleasurable. A workbench that has your tools visible, orderly, and organized is more enjoyable to work at than one that requires a massive hunt for the right screwdriver.
    • Your living space brings more joy to others. For instance, couches are for sitting on, not for holding laundry. Disorganized spaces have a way of putting off visitors; laundry on your couch suggests your pants are offered a better seat than your guests. Organized spaces also make it more likely you will invite others over.
    • You enjoy and use what you have. If your pantry is a mess, you may not realize you have five pounds of flour, and end up buying more rather than using what you have.
    • Assigning spaces starts with a single step. Some people can get overwhelmed by the thought of everything being in the absolute perfect spot, and being afraid to be wrong. It is better to just try something rather than do nothing. Besides, there is usually more than one way to organize and simplify...do what works for you.
  5. Prepare quick meals. The end of a hard day of work is probably not the best time to find yourself wrist-deep in homemade coq-au-vin. Find recipes that are quick to prepare, and search online for quick meals that you can use with the ingredients already in your house. Spend the spare time enjoying the meal and your family rather than over-complicating the cooking process.
  6. Simplify your parenting. Don't make lunch, don't clean the dirty clothes, don't put the toys away. Expect your children to start doing things for themselves at age-appropriate stages. In the long run it isn't easier to "just do it" for your children, as it teaches your children that you'll always do it and that they don't have to. Do tell your children where they can find the things to do tasks for themselves — show them how the first few times, but then let go.
    • Make a Chore Chart With Incentives for all children to follow and complete weekly. Involve them in its creation and they'll be more ready to buy into using it.
    • Stop over-scheduling. Kids historically have not been shuttled to after-school activities as much as they often are today. It is OK to have days when your children do not have ballet, ice hockey, Girl Scouts, or oboe lessons.

Simplifying Your Relationships

  1. Identify bad friendships, and work to fix them or end them.
    • Do not waste time keeping up with friends who bring you down, waste your time, or bore you. Start by cutting out the relationships that do not uplift you. Or at the very least stop investing so much energy.
    • You do not have to be rude or invite drama into this process. For example, you do not have to make ugly Facebook updates about how you are making big cuts from your contact list. Just stop making the extra effort. Take away the water and the plant will shrivel.
    • Make the effort to spend time with people you like. Keep a close group of friends who mean a lot to you and make an effort to spend time with them. It is also OK to have friends and acquaintances that may not be your best friends, but bring you a lot of happiness. The key is to invest your time and energy in people that bring you joy.
    • Relationships are often in flux; honor this. Your co-worker becomes a friend, you have a falling-out with Maria, and maybe you develop a crush on that cute redhead. Aim for simplicity, but understand that emotions, relationships, and all we go through can be confusing.
  2. Learn to tell people “no”. One way that our lives get complicated is being "agreeable." We think it helps to simplify if we let other people make the call: where to eat for lunch, what responsibilities to take on at work, whether or not you're available to drive your friend to the airport. Being a doormat won't help you to simplify your life, it'll just get you a face full of other peoples' boot prints. Don't let yourself be tread on. Stand up and learn to say no.
  3. Spend more time alone. Maintaining relationships, romantic and otherwise, gets complicated. When you're focused on other peoples' quirks and habits, you're focused less on yourself and what your needs are. You're complicating your life for others instead of simplifying it for yourself. It's not selfish to want to spend time alone, working on you.
    • Consider going on a vacation by yourself, traveling solo to a place you've always wanted to visit. Rely on your own skills to navigate and get you through. Maybe try a solo retreat to a monastery of some kind to get really introspective.
    • Romantic relationships are often complicated, but some key ideas help. Good communication is extremely important. Be sure to have realistic expectations. Do not try to change the other person, nor keep them changing. Have firm but loving boundaries. Never accept abuse.
  4. Spend less time on social networking. Clutter doesn't have to be physical. The psychic clutter of status updates, Tweets, and Instagram posts can do a lot to drag you down and complicate your life. Don't worry about liking everybody's newest posts or keeping a constant check on your different feeds. It'll be there when you've got a free second, and you probably won't even miss it.
    • If you're feeling ambitious, consider ditching social media entirely. Make face-to-face interactions your priority, and schedule catch-up sessions and phone calls with old friends who you can't keep in touch with, rather than stalking their profile online.

Slowing Down

  1. Put your phone away. Nothing will distract you and keep you unfocused more than checking your telephone for messages every two minutes. Texts, emails, Facebook updates and other little messages will be just as compelling an hour from now.
    • When you're with friends or family, put your phone on silent and keep it tucked away somewhere. Better yet, keep it in the car. Don't look at it. Make a rule at your next get together that the first person to check their phone picks up the tab. Stay focused on your phone and have a simple evening.
    • Increasingly, people are experiencing a phenomenon known as FOMO: the fear of missing out. What if you don't get that status update before everyone else? What if someone beats you to a witty comment stream message? What if your crush texts and you can't respond right away? Don't let "convenient" technology create complicated stress in your life. Be willing to miss out momentarily to enjoy the moment you're experiencing in the real world.
  2. Stop reading self-improvement manuals, books, and blogs. Other people's advice about living can often be a source of distress. Simplify by giving up the idea of perfection. Be confident that you're a good partner, a good parent, and a good person. Trust yourself more and do what comes naturally.
  3. Work from a manageable to-do list. For many people, having a little guide through the day makes it a whole lot simpler. Come up with a manageable to-do list and stick to it as closely as possible. What do you hope to accomplish by the end of the day? By the end of the week?
    • For some people, it might even be helpful to come up with more substantial lists of long-term goals and plans, to help prioritize accomplishments. Simplify your long-term career and life prospects by outlining where you'd like to be in your job in five years, or where you'd like to be living. What do you need to do now to get there?
    • Record your day if you're not sure where the hours are disappearing to. Keeping a calendar can also simplify your day because you don't have to rack your brains to remember everything continuously.
    • Celebrate each accomplishment of the day. Working from a to-do list can be a lot more enjoyable if you take a bit of time to celebrate what you've done. Cleaned up the kitchen and straightened your room and done your work for the day? Time for a glass of wine in your sparkling tidy kitchen. Treat yourself.[3]
  4. Stop Being a Digital Packrat. Unplug! Do a massive purge of the things that are cluttering up your computer, start keeping things simple and maintain a regular purging regime.
    • Place timers on electronic things that suck your time without you noticing. If you can spend more hours than you'd like online, install a timer, and use it. You might be surprised at your level of intensity. Even if you simply add in enforced regular breaks, your use of the technology will instantly simplify.
    • Try to keep your email box empty. Answer, file, or delete emails upon reading.
  5. Do one thing at a time. Multi-tasking should be avoided, if possible. It is a myth that a person can focus on more than one thing and do so well. While sometimes you have to, or (as the Zen story below illustrated) want to, one at a time should be your ideal.
    • Focus on doing the best possible (or "good enough" ) job at this moment.
    • Savor what you are doing, even if it is something mundane. Washing the dishes can be pleasurable, if you reflect on how the soapy water feels, your pleasure from your favorite teacup, and how good it feels to have clean dishes.[4]
    • In an old Zen story, an elder monk chastised some novices for talking while they were supposed to be doing their work. "When it's time to talk, just talk," he said. "And when it's time to work, just work." The next day, at lunch, the novices saw the elder monk eating lunch and reading the paper at the same time. They approached him to remind him of his lesson. Why was he not just eating, or just reading, as he had instructed them? "When it's time to eat lunch and read the paper, just eat lunch and read the paper," he said.
  6. Leave your work at work. Don't let the complication of your work day mess up your after work life. Don't bring any work back to the house to complete later–stay until you can finish for the day. If you're feeling stressed out after a work day, do something relaxing the minute you get home so you don't have to burden your housemates with complaints about the day. Don't spread the complicated stress around. Simplify.
    • Cut down your hours as much as you can afford to, if your job is a significant source of complication in your life. If you want to simplify, cutting back on work is one of the easiest ways to do it. Less money, less clutter.
    • Stop working weekends. Even if you love your work, dragging work into your weekends starts unbalancing the proportion in your life. You might not feel it right now, but eventually, this will lead to burn out and/or passion reduction. Block off every weekend for the next six months. Not a single one of those weekends can include work from now on.
  7. Meditate for 15 minutes each day. Just fifteen minutes. It's half a sitcom, or half a wait in line at the DMV, but it can help to make all the difference in your stress levels and your ability to simplify your life and remain calm. Take the small step of spending quiet time, just sitting, in a comfortable space. Focus on your breath. Relax your body and let your mind calm itself. Watch your thoughts.



Tips

  • When faced with a situation, ask yourself "what would a wise person do?" Take a minute to consider this. It may give an option to help you deal with something in a different way.
  • Limit worrying. It changes little but saps energy, creates stress, and complicates matters. Instead, draw up action lists and proactively deal with your worries. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Light a candle instead of cursing the darkness."
  • Make sensible choices about pets. For example, dogs need more attention than cats because they must be exercised every day. On the plus side, however, this exercise can be a form of unwinding and reconnection with the outside world for you.
  • Everyone says "be yourself". There's a reason for this oft-repeated cliché — when you deny your real self by pretending to be someone you're not, you waste energy keeping up that façade. If you're more true to yourself, then you'll be much happier inside, and much less complicated.

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Sources and Citations