Compliment Someone You Hate

Whether you Love What You Hate someone or simply don't get along, you should try to get to know the person and make friends. The best way to reach out is to give a compliment to someone that is not your friend, someone that seems to hate you. Compliment the person's work, play or taste, ie: in art, not one's appearance or body — that is for other situations.

Steps

  1. Put aside your dislike of this person right then and for as long as you can. Otherwise, if you are thinking about how you dislike them, the compliment will fail. Try to be sincere, but if you can't really, then try hard to "Get Attention Without Deception".
  2. State a matter of fact when you really can't give a sincere complimentary opinion to someone, anyone. For instance, if your best friend who walks in school with her used-to-be-long, lovely hair all chopped off to {{safesubst:#invoke:convert|convert}}, so very short. She asks you "Do you like my new haircut?" What do you say? In this situation, say something like "You cut your hair! It looks, well, very different! Hmmm, yeah: Cool!" Now change the subject. You save a lot of trouble.
  3. Ask about the person's favorite kinds of items: music, clothing, food, work, things at school, for fun, etc. Once you find out, agree as much as possible, then pick just one thing to congratulate the person on having such good taste or good ideas, being sharp or for having cute styles. Be sure to say "why you think so" -- to make it more personal and to give it more meaning.
    • For example, if she likes a certain kind of music that you also like even a little, you could say, "I like that band/musician/singer too. Oh, what is that song of theirs..." Wait for the song, then: "I bet, that was a good one... They have some good ones!"
  4. Say something in a nice way which is true and from the heart. Don't labor over it too hard.
  5. Keep it light or quick -- going on to other things. Finding something you like about a person you ordinarily don't like goes a long way toward turning a nemesis into a friend.
  6. Praise this potential new friend for a Be Productive Around the House if you find out about earning an A on a tough school assignment, or if he or she plays sports and makes a play that helped the team win. Noticing achievement on hard work or personal interests often goes much farther than noticing superficial traits such as hair or eye color.

Tips

  • People can tell when you are just trying to be liked as a friend, but if you really do like something simple such as a hair style, then say so!
  • Try something, not too personal, that you genuinely like, whether it's something that occurs naturally on them (such as eye color), or the purse a woman is carrying, jewelry, earrings, and so on.
  • You may find that some people just won't warm up to you no matter what you do. For whatever reason, they just don't wish to spend their time getting to know you. If you find that's the case then just let it drop and focus on meeting someone new. Don't give up hope just because one person doesn't return your friendliness.
  • You can compliment anything you like, but mean it. It helps to say why you like it.
  • Compliment a girl's eyes if they are brown or hazel, but first think about how beautiful brown really is... Brown-eyed girls don't often get compliments about their eyes the way blue-eyed girls do, so they will genuinely appreciate your noticing something that for them doesn't get noticed.

Warnings

  • Compliment the same unfriendly person when you can take time to explain the compliment but not too often (otherwise the other person (who doesn't exactly trust you) might wonder what you're up to).
  • Be discreet when gathering information about the person you want to give a compliment to. You don't want to give the impression you are stalking her. That will definitely have the opposite effect than the one you want! "Compliments" coming from someone perceived to be a stalker are viewed as creepy and will get you nowhere fast.
  • Beware of going over-board, or "gushing", especially to someone you essentially don't like—and especially if the person you're complimenting knows you don't like them. Nothing sounds more insincere than listening to someone "going-on-and-on" about a shirt or someone's curls, for example.
    • Make your point quickly; then stop and trust that your compliment did what you wanted it to do.

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