Cope With False Hopes
Have you ever had false hopes? For example, let's say a friend says something like, "if you complete this task for me, I'll give you something in return" and you expected something in return, but didn't get anything. You feel cheated and used. Imagine the feeling...what do you do?
Contents
Steps
- Don't expect too much. You won't always get everything you expect, so you have to be prepared for a letdown.
- Know the people you're dealing with. If someone has let you down before, he or she is more likely to let you down again.
- Beware of NATO behavior. NATO = No Action Talk Only. Some people just talk as if things are simple, and that they will definitely help you, but when it comes to the real situation, they are the first ones to run away or make themselves unavailable.
- Confront the person to explain how you feel. If you're a little wary of talking to the person, you can use text messages or e-mail. If they still can't get it, tell them not to make empty promises or say things like, "you are not man enough to keep promises, please don't give false hopes."
- Spread the word to others and tell them to beware of that person. If they don't appreciate it, once they experience, they will soon realize.
- Don't trust promises from a forgetful person. This is common sense.
- Cry on someone else's shoulder if its really getting to you. Tell a friend/family member/boy-girlfriend how you feel, and they may, it not actually help, be there to listen and comfort you. It helps to share your emotions,so at least its out of your system.
- Getting disappointed is a huge blow, especially when you set your heart on it. A good way to soften the blow is turn your focus on something else while you're waiting so that it doesn't seem as important and that big a deal. For example, when your boy/girlfriend promises to call you, and they don't ever normally do that anyway, mentally put away your cell phone and do something else that you enjoy; play some sports, watch a movie, talk to a friend...leave the house! If you focus enough, you'll be amazed how little that broken promise hurts now that you're not thinking about it.
- However, remember that if its not going anywhere, it can get very painful for you. If you've tried talking to them, you gave them the benefit of doubt, and its just you they seem to have that problem with (so that forgetfulness and work is not an excuse anymore, then its time to move on. You deserve better.
Tips
- Be strong. Stand your ground; your life shouldn't evolve around the promises they make. It seems harder the more you like them, but trust me; in the future, you're going look back on this and be very proud of yourself.
- Don't be too soft-hearted, and taken in by empty promises, as you will feel cheated over and over again.
- Have a backup plan and be prepared if someone who is a frequent empty promiser, promises you things that sounds too good to be true. Write it down on notebook.
- The steps depend on varying situations, there's no hard and fast rule here.
Warnings
- This article only works for some people, not all.
- Just because they keep a promise once won't mean they've changed. So, until you notice a regular pattern of promise keeping, then don't have your hopes too high.
- Never start cold wars. This never works. This is a problem you want taken care of; when you start a cold war, you make the cowardly choice- you refuse to take the problem head-on by just ignoring them, which may result into them either not getting a clue, in which case nothing gets solved, or you get into a huge fight. Simply confront them, and then say, "Until you start keeping promises, I'm not going to take any of them seriously."
