Date a Guy

Dating men is dependent on your culture, age, gender and interests in life. There is no hard and fast rule and there is no one single way to date. There is a range of commonalities that are considered helpful to getting a date and keeping dates interested in you, which is all that this article aspires to doing.

Steps

Getting Ready for the Date

Whether you see your date everyday or not, there are several steps to take in preparation for the big date. Give subtle hints that you are excited for the upcoming date and you are really looking forward to it.

  1. Look your best. Everyone deserves to show off their best features all the time. If you see your date everyday (i.e. work, school, the gym...etc) you can increase the man's interest by showing off your best features. If you look your best you will feel more comfortable and confident. Everyone should show off and flaunt their body type!
    • There are about five different body types: Hourglass, pear, apple, triangle and rectangle.
    • Each body type has their own best feature and you can dress to enhance yours![1]
      • Hourglass: Curves. Wear blouses and dresses that enhance your voluptuous curves. Clothing should be tight around waist and form fitting below.
      • Pear: Shoulders and stomach. Wear tank tops and tight shirts to show off your thin stomach and awesome shoulders.
      • Apple: Legs. Dresses and skirts. Not too short though, you don't want to be too revealing!
      • Triangle: Legs.
      • Rectangle: Arms. Wear t-shirts and tanks.
  2. Be intriguing. Keep him wanting more. Don't give too much away in small conversations before the date. Instead, answer his questions with something that could lead to a deeper conversation later.
    • For example: If he asks a question along the lines of "What do you like to do for fun?" answer with something vague, such as "Well... I love adventures." By leaving the answer open-ended he will want to continue asking these questions and get to know more about you.
  3. Get to know his interests and let him entertain you. Dating will be a lot easier and more fun if you get to know his interests before the date. This will open up an endless amount of conversations for your date and it will also be helpful if you find interests you have in common.
    • People enjoy talking about themselves so you can prepare by getting some questions ready to ask during the date. For example: You could say, "I noticed you have a basketball at your desk, do you like to play?"
    • If you find a mutual interest, don't be afraid to recommend participating in the interest together at some point. For example: If you find that you both enjoy hiking you could say, "I know this great trail not too far from here, let me know if you are interested in hiking it someday!"
    • There is room for compromise, but don't change yourself for the sake of the guy's interests and don't expect him to always do what interests you.
  4. Act flirtatious. It's the best known tool for getting a man's attention. Men enjoy being flirted with as it boosts their confidence level and initiates a playful demeanor for both parties.[2] Although flirting is a fun game, remember to keep the initial flirtation low as you don't want to seem too brash.
    • A fun way of being flirtatious is to Be a Tease (for Girls). Remember, teasing is not meant to insult, but instead, meant to bait in a flattering or sensual way.
    • Don't be afraid to touch his arm or hand and laugh in light conversations for emphasis. For example: If he happens to make a quick joke in passing by, lightly touch is upper arm and turn your head up laughing while saying something like, "oh, you're so funny!"[3]
  5. Know what to wear. It is very important to dress appropriately for the date so you do not look or feel uncomfortable in the selected environment. Dates can range from fancy restaurants, to casual dive bars, to movies...etc. You wouldn't want to go to a movie theatre in a cocktail dress!
    • If you are going to a restaurant you have never been to, look it up on the internet to get the feel of how casual or fancy it is.
    • Don't be afraid to accessorize! If you are going to a casual place wearing jeans and a simple top, accessorize with a bright colored necklace or earrings. These bright accessories will also enhance your facial features and make your outfit (and yourself) look more interesting while staying casual and simple.
  6. Apply natural makeup. You don't want to go on your first date with a mask of makeup on. You will want your natural beauty to shine so there are no surprises for later. Stick to the basics and avoid heavy layers and bright eyeshadows.
    • A good way to add some fun to natural makeup is to add a brighter colored lipstick or gloss.
  7. Stay calm and confident. Avoid getting flustered and nervous. If you become over-excited or overwhelmed you will increase your blood pressure and your body will react with anxiety by becoming sweaty and/or shaky and you may even become sick to your stomach.[4] Remember to relax by telling yourself this is just another normal night of fun.
    • When getting ready, there are a couple things you can try to calm your nerves before your date arrives. Try drinking tonic water or ginger ale, listening to relaxing music or watching a funny show or reading a book or playing a puzzle to keep your mind occupied.

The First Dates

  1. Maintain a light-hearted and genuine charm. Declarations of undying love in the early stages are terrifying for most people, as they suggest an undesirable clinginess. Keep conversations fun and exciting without leaning towards talks of romance and extended future plans. Keep in mind you are still learning about each other so instead of professing your love, keep him intrigued by your charm and confident character.
    • Love should take time; if it's based on looks, it's time to rethink your relationship.
    • Try friendship as a first step. It can't hurt to get to know one another better, especially when you're not sure of his interest or intentions.
  2. Continue showing interest. Give subtle hints to show you want this new relationship to continue. Let him know how much you are enjoying getting to know him and you are having a great time on the date(s).
    • Be careful with your words. As stated before, you don't want to seem too clingy but you also don't want to seem distant or uninterested. If he asks you if you would like to meet again this week respond with "I would really like that" (avoid the word "love") or a more flirtatious "I suppose I could squeeze you in" (add a little wink or a cute smile).
    • Don't make yourself seem so readily available, this could potentially make your date think you are waiting around for him to keep asking you out. If he asks "When can you go out again" don't respond with "any day works for me", instead ask "Hm, what days work for you and I will see if those are also open for me!"
  3. Come up with Ideas for Dates yourself. If your first dates are going well and there seems to be more on their way don't hesitate to suggest a new place or a new fun idea. It can be very beneficial to get out of the same scene and get to know the person better in a different environment.
    • Suggest something that you found you have a mutual interest in or something that he has never tried before. Some examples of new and interesting dates include: Going on a hike, going to a sporting event, the zoo or a museum, or taking a cooking class.
  4. Suggest a double date. If your dates have been going exceptionally well and you see many more in your future you should suggest going on a double date with your friends. This is a great way to start transitioning your relationship into something more. By having your friends around you you can see how his personality changes or doesn't change and it is a great way of deciding if you want to continue the relationship with him or if he just doesn't fit in for you and you might need to re-think you seeing each other.
    • This is also true for his friends as well. If you happen to meet them or go on a double date with his friends you can see if he is the same guy he has been portraying or if he is someone different than what you expected.

Taking it to the Next Level

  1. Be open and honest. If you believe it is time to discuss furthering your relationship then feel free to be open about wanting to make it a steady thing. After a few weeks, say you would like it if the two of you could see one another regularly. This will give you a good indication of the worth or risk of continuing before you get in too deep and get your hopes up too high.
    • Avoid using intimidating conversation starters such as, "we need to talk" or "can I ask you something". You want to approach the situation as casually as possible. A good alternative would be "I have really enjoyed my time with you and I wanted to see if our feelings are mutual."
  2. Remain calm and collected if he is not there yet. This doesn't mean he wants anything to end. This just means he might not be as ready for a solid relationship as you are. But, that doesn't necessarily mean it won't happen. Everyone has a different dating history and his could result in him just needing to take time in gaining trust. Your reaction could be the ultimatum if he does want to continue or if he decides maybe it's time to end it.
    • If he says that he is not ready for a relationship yet but still wants to see you, you shouldn't feel rejected and instead reply with "That is great and I would really like to keep getting to know you as well!" Your confidence will be reassuring and help him relax and get comfortable to continue with your date.
  3. If he is ready for the next level, don't overdo it! The next level is where you start to spend more time together and really begin to understand each other in greater detail. Remember, this is still the beginning and you don't want to make it more than what it really is.
  4. Just have fun. The most important thing in relationships is to continue having fun. Nothing needs to be really serious until it is time. But, until then, continue to make things fun, new and exciting. Do all those intriguing and flirtatious things you did when you first starting dating, don't stop just because you are in the next level of your relationship.
    • Keep things exciting with new ideas or weekly events. Plan a day of the week to be reserved specifically for an exciting date, no matter what it is.

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.sheknows.com/beauty-and-style/articles/826747/dressing-for-your-body-type
  2. ↑ http://www.yourtango.com/201079877/5-types-flirting-men-love
  3. ↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/flirting-moves
  4. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/anxiety-stress-and-stomachaches

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