Deal With a Weak and Indecisive Boyfriend
Having a partner can be a wonderful thing but, sometimes we do not always pick the right individuals that will make us happy for the rest of our lives. However there are people out here that make themselves more than they really are so, what do you do when you have to deal with a weak and indecisive boyfriend.
Contents
Steps
- Try to understand why he's being indecisive. Does he really have no preferences? Is he trying to be "nice" to a point where it's destructive? Has he given up on the relationship? Is he terrified of conflict?
- If he simply is so laid back that he doesn't have preferences, ask him to pick something. Explain to him that it upsets you that you have to make decisions all the time. Try to keep your complaint/explanation to a sentence so he doesn't shut down.
- He may be trying so hard to make you happy that he's putting his wants aside. This is a sweet gesture, but gets frustrating over time! It's annoying to be the one choosing all the time. Tell him that you appreciate how sweet he's being, but let him know that you really like when he makes decisions.
- If he's just shut down to the relationship it's time to go. Don't wait around for him to "get better" or "grow up" etc. Just leave. He may beg you to come back, but go find someone who treats you RIGHT. Forget him. Maybe he'll learn - and good if he does. Then maybe he'll be better to the next girl he dates.
- If you're "stuck" in the relationship for whatever reason, try to distance yourself from it. Don't fight endlessly over it. Fighting isn't going to make it any better - especially if he's terrified of conflict. Just tell him you're frustrated. Do things with other people - or just get out more without him.
- Manage the household. If you are living together and he does not do his duties as the head of the household then budget your money. Doing this will have everything paid off so, there will not be financial worries down the line such as being evicted from an apartment or having a car repo.
- When it comes to times that he has promised you something but, did not pull it through, then dump him. For example, if he does not propose to you like he said he would when you decided that you have dated long enough and you had to be the one to buy the ring or, it's Valentine's day and he has never bought you dinner or taken you out but, you were the one that had to do all of that. Leaving high and dry is the best way to end a useless relationship when all else fails.
- If he asks for another chance, and you're willing to go through all that drama that will come, then explain to him clearly and specifically what you want from him. Give him general concepts but then give SPECIFIC examples because his definition of being financially responsible may be completely different from yours. If he decides to revert to his old ways when given that second chance then leave.
Tips
- Nagging does not work. He'll grow up on his own terms when he wants to. Nothing you can do can speed it up.
- Cover your bases - don't let yourself get into financial trouble because of his inability to be responsible.
- If you are the only one that has a car but, both of you have a license yet, he does not want to drive then you go to where you want to go and he can take the public transportation.
- If he is not spending any money but, he is counting yours then when you are out to dinner ask for separate checks or, if you need to go food shopping buy stuff that you like and what he won't eat so that he can split the food bill with you instead of footing it on your own.
Warnings
- Do not make yourself the good guy because eventually others will start to see that this individual is weak when he starts talking about his employment, education status, and etc.
- When it comes time when his parents visit when the two of you are living together be sure to prove to them that you are the one in charge so, whatever you say goes because you are the one that is paying the bills if he is not helping.
