Distance Yourself from Your Mood

Dealing with an unpleasant mood can affect your whole day and make you feel miserable. If you need some help backing away from how your mood makes you feel, try doing an activity that makes you feel good. Improve your mindset by engaging in mindfulness and finding humor around you. If your moods are severe and difficult to manage on your own, work with professionals to increase your mood stability.

Steps

Confronting Your Bad Mood

  1. Acknowledge your feelings. If you tend to stuff your emotions, deny them, or you avoid dealing with them, get in the habit of recognizing how you feel. Build a healthy relationship with your emotions so that you can deal with them appropriately. Go beyond saying, “I feel good” or “I feel bad” and learn to identify when you feel anxious, sad, frustrated, joyful, uneasy, etc.[1]
    • Once you acknowledge your moods and emotions, you can decide how to respond.[2]
    • When you notice a shift in your mood, take a moment and label the feeling. Say to yourself, “Right now I feel frustrated.”
  2. Do something you enjoy. Ask yourself if you’re getting enough “me” time. It’s easy to get caught up in the business of life, but make sure you’re doing some things you enjoy and not just what you need to do. It can be as simple sipping on a cup of tea or coffee, going for a walk, or petting your dog.[3]
    • Get in the habit of doing something enjoyable each day as a way to manage your moods and stay positive.
    • If you tend to turn toward alcohol or drugs as a way to cope, find new productive activities that will help you cope more effectively.
  3. Talk to someone. Find a person you trust and confide in them. Just speaking with someone can help you cope your mood and de-stress. They can’t fix your mood, but they can help you deal with it and feel more positive.[4]
    • Spend time with someone one-on-one if possible. If not, make a phone call or video chat.
  4. Take the opposite action. Think about what mood contrasts your current mood and do activities that align with that mood. For example, if you feel sad and lethargic, try doing something active and happy, like dancing or jumping on a trampoline. If you feel angry, engage in something that induces feelings of calm.[1]
    • While it might feel silly or strange at first, keep with it and notice how your mood changes.
  5. Cry. Crying can help you feel better, especially if you’re holding something in or trying to avoid something. There’s nothing wrong with crying.[5] If you don’t want to cry in front of other people, excuse yourself to somewhere private. This might be your house or room, the bathroom, outside, or your car.
    • Let yourself cry and notice how you feel afterward. You might feel shifts in your mood.
  6. Write a gratitude journal. Refocus on gratitude and find things you are grateful for today. You don’t have to write a long list, just find things you feel genuinely grateful for in the moment.[6] This might include the sunshine outside, a kiss from your kids, or enjoying a song on the radio.
    • If you’re having a difficult day, be grateful for the small things that went right, even when other things were going wrong. For example, give thanks for minimal traffic on the way to work, a nice lunch, or a good laugh in the morning.

Finding Inner Peace

  1. Let go. While it might be easier to avoid or dwell on your feelings or moods, try to let it go. Remember that moods come and go and you can choose to put less awareness onto your mood. Even if you continue to remain in the same mood, you can let go of how it affects you.[1]
    • For example, imagine your mood floating away on a cloud or as a wave in the ocean.
  2. Say a mantra. Remind yourself that moods come and go. Your mood isn’t who you are. If you’re stuck in a mood, remind yourself of this fact by repeating a mantra or affirmation.[7]
    • Say, “This mood is not who I am, it’s only something I’m experiencing.”
    • You can also say, “This feeling will pass and I don’t need to hold onto it.”
  3. Practice relaxation. Relaxation is a great way to encourage a calm state of mind and to calm your body. Take a couple moments out of your day and do something that brings a sense of peace. For example, try daily yoga, qi gong or tai chi.[8]
    • Practicing relaxation every day can help stabilize your moods, so get into a daily practice.
  4. Zero in on your senses. Tuning into your senses is a popular mindfulness technique that allows you to connect to the present moment. Instead of focusing on your mood, put your attention on your senses. Get comfortable, then focus your attention on each sense, one at a time for about one minute each.[9]
    • For example, start noticing the various sounds around you, like the hum of an air conditioner or planes outside. Then, move to focusing on touch and notice how it feels to have your body against the chair, your hair touching your shoulders, etc.
  5. Practice meditation. One of the best ways to disconnect from discomfort is to meditate. Get in a comfortable seated position, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. There are different techniques to breath meditation, but start just by bringing awareness to your breath. Notice the inhales, exhales, and spaces between.[9]
    • If you want, start counting your inhales and exhales. For example, count to five for each inhale, then again for each exhale.
  6. Find humor in things. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself and find humor in situations. Laughter can help you de-stress and lift your mood. If something goes wrong, find the humor in it and remember not to take life too seriously.[10]
    • If you want a humor boost, take a mini break and watch a funny video or read a funny story. Do something that makes you laugh.

Getting Professional Help

  1. Get a diagnosis. Being irritable or short-tempered can be a sign of depression, especially if you’re a teen.[11] If your moodiness happens frequently or lasts for a long time, it may not be a simple shift in mood and you may want to see a professional. That way, you can get proper treatment.
  2. See a therapist. If you’re having a hard time managing your moods on your own, a therapist can help. You may be able to find triggers to moods and enact coping strategies to deal with them. Your therapist might recommend implementing techniques to help you manage your moods and stay more stable.[12]
    • Find a therapist by calling your insurance provider or local mental health clinic. You can also get a recommendation from a physician, friend, or family member.
    • If you have a problem
  3. Start medication. If your moods are severe and you feel like it’s impossible to control them, medication can help. Especially if your moods are connected to a disorder such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, medication can help. It’s often best to take medication while also completing therapy.[12]
    • Make an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss medication. Ask your therapist or general practitioner for a recommendation.

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/emotion-regulation-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt-0318135
  2. ↑ https://www.mindful.org/break-your-bad-mood-in-3-minutes/
  3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm
  4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm#connect
  5. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/bad-mood.html#
  6. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal/
  7. ↑ https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-health-newsletter/three-ways-to-manage-your-mood/
  8. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-support-and-self-help.htm#stress
  9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 http://www.clayton.edu/Portals/541/docs/Five%20Senses%20Mindfulness%20Exercise.pdf
  10. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm#fun
  11. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/bad-mood.html
  12. ↑ 12.0 12.1 http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/mood-swings
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