Talk to Teens About Mental Health Issues

Discussing mental illness with teenagers might feel a little awkward, but it’s important – an estimated one in five young people is living with a mental health problem. The way you talk about mental health with your kids, your kids’ friends, or your students can make a big difference in how they think about and take care of their own mental health in the future. Get the conversation off to a good start by keeping it casual and comfortable for both of you. As you talk, focus on presenting the facts and getting rid of stigma. If you suspect that a teen you know is suffering from mental illness, bring up your concerns and help them find resources to feel better.

Steps

Helping Teens Get Help

1. Look out for warning signs of mental illness. If your teen’s behavior or mood changes for the worse, pay attention. A few potential signs of mental illness in teens include acting sad or hopeless, avoiding friends and family, expressing anxiety frequently, and behaving in a disruptive way.
   • It’s normal for teenagers to experience mood swings and go through rough patches with their friends. If your teen’s behavior seems “off,” don’t assume something is wrong right away. Wait a week or two and see if the behavior continues.
   • If your teen hurts themselves or Handle a Suicidal Teenager, call a professional or take them to the hospital immediately, regardless of how long the behavior has been going on.
2. Bring up your concerns in a gentle way. Tell your teen why you’re worried about them, but try not to make them feel like you’re putting them on the spot. Mention the symptoms you’ve noticed, and ask them if they want to talk about anything.
   • You could say something like, “It seems to me like you’ve been spending a lot more time alone lately. How have you been feeling?”
3. Listen actively. If your teen opens up to you, don’t interrupt or lecture them. Just let them talk, and do your best to understand them. Rephrase what they say to make sure you’re on the same page, and ask good questions to help them express what’s going on.
   • For instance, if your teen says they’re angry that their friend doesn’t talk to them anymore, you could say, “It sounds like you’re really feeling hurt that Nathan hasn’t been spending time with you. Do you think that could have anything to do with why you’ve been so hard on yourself lately?”
   • Don’t get upset if your teen doesn’t want to talk to you right away. Talking about mental health problems isn’t easy, and some people need time to figure out what to say. Try again in a day or two.
4. Dispel any feelings of shame. Tell your teen that mental illness is very common. Don’t use words like “crazy,” and don’t make your teen feel guilty for their illness.
   • If you’ve had mental health problems before, share your experience with your teen to help them feel less alone.
5. Help teens find the resources they need. Teenagers may not know where to turn for mental health support, so help them come up with ideas. Suggest talking to a school counselor or a member of clergy.
   • If your Persuade a Teenager to Receive Psychiatric Help, help them make and get to their appointments.

Discussing Mental Health

1. Educate yourself first. Learn about the different types of mental illnesses and their symptoms before you try to explain them to your teen. There are many books, articles, and videos available that will teach you about the different facets of mental health.
   • Make sure you are getting your information about mental health from a reliable source. Information that comes from well-known doctors, universities, or the government is generally reliable. Start with reliable sources like the National Institute of Mental Health or the American Psychological Association.
2. Explain the differences between mental illnesses. Teens may not know how mental illnesses differ from each other, or they may have misunderstandings of mental health problems based on common stereotypes. Give them a fact-based overview of how different illnesses affect people and how these illnesses are treated.
   • Discuss mental illnesses in a neutral, non-judgmental way, like you would talk about physical illnesses. For instance, you might say, "A person with anxiety might worry a lot, while a person with depression might feel indifferent and have trouble worrying about anything."
3. Use examples. Find examples of mental health problems in books, movies, and real life, and discuss them with your teen. Talk about how mental illness can affect people’s lives and why it’s important to seek treatment.
   • It might be nice to sit down and watch a movie together, such as Inside Out or Silver Linings Playbook, depending on your teen's maturity level.
4. Emphasize that mental illness is treatable. Let your teen know that, with the right treatment, a person can improve with a mental illness. Provide them with examples from books, blogs, and movies of other people who were able to live full, healthy lives after learning to manage their mental illness.
   • A great place to start is HealthyPlace.com, which features blogs written by people living with mental illness.
5. Keep the conversation open-ended. Don’t lecture your teen about how mental illness is “bad.” Instead, give them space to express their own ideas. Ask questions, and listen carefully to the answers. Encourage them to ask questions as well.
   • If you aren’t quick to lecture or judge, your teen will feel more comfortable talking to you, and your conversations will be more productive.
   • For instance, you could ask your teen what they think of popular media depictions of mental illness.

Creating an Ongoing Conversation

1. Have casual discussions about mental health. Bring up the subject of mental health frequently to dispel any sense of awkwardness or stigma. Look for teachable moments in your day-to-day life, and encourage teens to be active participants in the discussion.
   • You can find teachable moments in the news, popular media, and the lives of other people you know. For instance, you might use a moment in a TV show to demonstrate the benefit of going to therapy.
2. Find a good time and place to talk. Talk in a private, comfortable place. Think about whether your teen would be most comfortable talking face-to-face, or whether they might prefer to talk while doing something else. Don’t try to start a conversation about mental health when you or your teen are busy, tired, or upset.
3. Tailor the conversation to the teen’s personality and level of maturity. An 18-year-old will probably be able to handle more detailed information than a 13-year-old will. If your teen is sensitive, be careful not to present information in a way that might scare them.
4. Let your teen know you’re always available to listen or talk. If your teen clams up when you bring up the subject of mental health, don’t try to force a conversation. Instead, encourage them to come to you if they ever do want to talk about anything. Your teen will be more likely to open up to you if it’s their own idea.
   • Say something like, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about this right now. If you ever do want to discuss it, though, I’m always here to listen.”

Sources and Citations

See also

• Distance Yourself from Your Mood
• Heal from Trauma
• Get Rid of a Negative Emotion
• Reflect on Your Life
• Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong
• Accept Yourself, Your Life, and Your Reality
• Make Yourself Emotionally Numb
• Write a Mental Health Treatment Plan
• Distract Yourself from Things You Don't Want to Think About
• Overcome Lack of Motivation

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