Find Out if Your Mate is Cheating

Suspect that your mate is cheating on you? These steps may help you find out for sure!

Steps

  1. Look for changes in...
    • Spending. Often, having a hot romantic affair can greatly change spending habits. For a girlfriend or wife, it may mean less money spent on daily meals, since a boyfriend may be buying lunches frequently, or for a guy, he may be buying flowers or lunches, or even paying for an apartment or motel room.
    • Behavior. If he/she usually has a set time for getting home from work and all the sudden, there are "after work meetings" or sudden trips to Walmart at odd hours.
    • Dress, hairstyle, sexual activity (more OR less). These changes could be indicative of trying to attract or please someone new
    • Ordinary things, like lipstick on his collar, or her returning home smelling different
    • Mileage on their vehicle. Have they been doing a lot of unexplained traveling? How very interesting....
  2. Get technical:
    • Put a hidden GPS device on their car.
    • Install a hidden webcam at home.
    • Buy and use "spy software" to gather evidence against your cheating spouse. Most cheating today involves email or IM communication.
  3. Telephone often, just to chat, and listen to background noises. If the significant other is at work, you should be able to associate the background sounds to their job. You may also catch a hint of something in their voice that tells you they are not comfortable talking.
  4. Listen to what their friends say when you are both around them. She/he may be telling you that they are spending time with their friend, then their friend may make a comment about how long it has been since they went out together.
  5. Buy her some flowers
    • Not exactly roses, but just flowers in general.
    • Have them delivered to her at work
    • Make sure that your name is NOT put onto the card, so she doesn't know who it's from. Don't purchase via a credit card; that leaves a trail.
    • When she comes home, if she still has the flowers and asks you if you sent them to her, she is probably faithful, but if she doesn't say a word, more than likely she's cheating on you.
  6. Just ask upfront. If s/he won't tell you, use guilt. After a while, s/he will just give up and tell you.
  7. Don't be too hard on your mate if s/he tells you yes. Ask her questions like why s/he was cheating. Try to understand him/her. You may not have been Mr/Mrs. Perfect yourself.
  8. If s/he HAS been cheating, you now have something which you can use as leverage. Don't blow it by being physically abusive.



Tips

  • Consider whether you really want to know, or not. Perhaps your time and effort would be better spent working on improving your relationship. Being trustworthy and honest is important in a healthy relationship and if they are not being these things but you suspect it, find out so you can get out and find someone who deserves you.

Warnings

  • If she catches you spying on her/him or going through her/his things she/he might dump you for invading her/his privacy.
  • Using spy software may be illegal in your area.
  • If s/he suspects that you are trying to test her/him and thinks that this is unjust, she/he might get even. If she/he wasn't cheating before, she/he might go out and cheat now, because she/he now has a pretty good excuse and can blame her/his actions on you.

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