Finesse People and Situations

Let’s say you were asked to make a list of your top five reasons for wanting to linger on planet Earth – the chances are high that if you’re like most people, then something involving another person would be at the top of such a list. Similar to the ants and the bees, human beings are a social species and this article will elucidate how to milk each relationship and situation for all that they’re worth.

Steps

  1. Make eye contact. That voice inside your head is the real you and the best way to verify that you have taken notice of another person and that another person has taken notice of you is through gentle eye contact. A smile, a handshake or a pat on the shoulder are all ways of acknowledging and respecting the presence of another.
  2. Remember Names and use them often. Take care to correctly pronounce and spell another person’s name in your interactions with another. Be it conditioning or the egotistical need to feel important, there is something special about hearing one’s name that makes a person more alert and more open to what is taking place between the two of you.
  3. Give genuine compliments. People tend to have an unconscious knack for sensing a phony, so take the time to study a person and express admiration for a bona fide strength. This is a power that you have to encourage more of what is good about a person.
  4. Express gratitude. If a person takes their time, effort, attention or money to say or do anything of benefit for you, the least you could do is acknowledge this and express appreciation for it. There are limits to any sense of entitlement and this is one of the best ways to indicate to another that you value him or her and his or her words and actions. If someone invites you to partake of anything perhaps a little novelty gift may be appropriate.
  5. Have a sense of humor. Your ego is not so fragile that it cannot survive a bit of honest criticism here and there or even chiding that you don’t really deserve a compliment which someone is trying to pay you. Try to laugh with people and not at people; this is best accomplished by allowing yourself to be vulnerable too. Embarrassing moments happen to everyone and such should be handled with sensitivity but also with a sly wink.
  6. Be an Empathetic Friend. Really try to imaginatively place yourself in another person’s shoes to whatever extent possible and try to adhere to “the golden rule” in whatever situation you're seeking a resolution to. Remember the old adage that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and try to contain any feelings of hostility.
  7. Be selectively patient. With so much to do in so little time, it requires discernment to assess which interactions truly deserve our 100 percent focus and involvement. This is especially true when dealing with one’s spouse, one’s children and one’s clients or customers.
  8. Refine the art of “name dropping” and “event dropping.” You would be surprised at how the mention of a particular name or public event could instantly elevate your status in the eyes of another but however coerced try to maintain your integrity in this area. Let’s say you were at a particular national event or happened to rub shoulders with a particular cultural icon or more practically that you attend the same fitness center as a person’s boss who you're negotiating a deal with. Master the art of the tactful mention here and there.
  9. Be energetic, positive and perfectionistic. It has been expressed that some of the bravest orchestrations of people were made by males, females or gralise who were snailishly tired but were concomitantly relentless as jackals. Having said that, it is a turn off to engage with persons who seem lackluster. Be fly in appearance, words and actions. Pride runs deep to generate the courage to elevate. Each day is a new opportunity to purchase life, enjoyment, elevation, companionship and dignity - seize it with both hands, both feet and the oneness of your head! Keep fit, well rested, well oxygenated, well hydrated, well nourished and be prepared to offer the best of you to existence and to expect the best from existence; Master and maximize VALUE incessantly to evolve to your highest celestial destiny.
  10. Identify what’s in it for you as well as what’s in it for the other person. We are naturally selfish and this is in the interests of self-preservation. Remember that to each person whom you encounter he or she is literally the most important person in existence.
    • Make things plainly obvious to people when lodging a complaint or expressing a want. For example, if you were on an airplane which leaked water onto your infant it may help to add in your complaint that you plan to write an article to the local newspaper in your seeking some form of placatory compensation for you and your child’s distress. You will get better at doing this with practice.
  11. Use your resources wisely and responsibly. Every benefit in life has a cost of some sort which it is only fair that the recipient of the benefit should suffer the expense of. It is an enormous personal asset to have the strength and courage to routinely tolerate constructive discomfort to make the most of the opportunities available to you. Whether your style is flamboyant and over-the-top or simple and elegant, to be wasteful or destructive with time, money and energy is highly irresponsible. As with most areas of life, fine and gracious living is an art and a science that eventuates best with a plan, priorities and persistence of focus and effort.



Tips

  • Be REAL - it's the rarest and most special gift that you can possibly extend to another!
  • Spend time in the mirror with yourself and really appreciate what you have to offer humanity. There is no price that can be placed on the capacity to stand before a mirror and to truly revel in the fact that you have earned the respect of the person whom you see staring back at you. Carry this pride with you!
  • Communication is the most essential aspect of any relationship or encounter so be careful of what you say and how you say it as well as making an effort to be a good listener whilst offering wise advice.
  • Operate from a place of self-trust and hone your instincts and reflexes by seeing every experience as not merely a dress rehearsal but as actual showtime.
  • A polished appearance will truly enhance the quality of any encounter with another human being.
  • Every moment of your life is comprised of desirable, undesirable and neutral aspects of existence and you should take it as it comes with a posture of grateful dignity and make the most of it.
  • It helps when you genuinely love people and truly see another person as an extension of yourself, however distant.
  • Seek to spin webs which entangle select others to endear them to you by personalizing generic greetings and expressions with your signature style and remember that birthdays are the occasion when any person is especially deserving of a finessing session.
  • Find the good in every person and the growth in every situation to enhance the positivity of your aura.
  • You are your volitional words and actions so take care not to cheapen yourself, your integrity and your capacity to be trusted by being dishonest in character.
  • Allow your personal high standards and your meticulous disposition to incline you to consistently embrace and showcase perfection with discriminating taste and an effortlessly relaxed style.
  • In the verbal tennis matches of dialogue, furnish proof that you are truly listening and engaged by repeating verbatim words or segments of what was said to you as a flattering 'mirroring' gesture to your companion in your responses - be creative with this.

Warnings

  • This article is not suggesting to be a pushover or a doormat but it is rather how to negotiate the terrain of life with class, charisma and compassion.

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