Flirt With a Guy Online

Without body language or verbal cues, the act of online flirtation can feel counter-intuitive. People are so used to expressing attraction physically that flirting over the web is its own game. Emotionally-charged, playful teasing still has its place on the internet however, and though you'll need to approach it somewhat differently than you would normally, the internet is actually a great place to get practice with flirting.

Steps

Using Social Media

  1. Pick a flattering profile picture. A profile picture says a lot about you, and if you're wanting to flirt online, having a good photo of you to go with your posts goes a long way.[1] If you already have a lot of good photos of yourself online, you should pick one that highlights your face, preferably in a high resolution photo quality. If you don't have many photos, try taking a few and see if there are any that stick. You won't have a physical presence save for this picture while flirting online, so make it count.
    • If you're torn deciding what photo you should use, get a friend to help. A friend's advice can give insight into how your photos will be perceived by other people.
  2. Make your thoughts and opinions known.[2] Sculpting an active social media life will give people the impression you have a busy real life as well. This bodes well if you're trying to get someone interested in you. If there's something on your mind, make a post about it. If you got up to something interesting the other day, let the internet know about it.
    • Quality is ultimately more important than quantity, and spamming with a large number of shallow or poorly worded posts will actually have the opposite effect you're going for.
  3. Like and reshare posts that interest you. Most social media outlets (like Facebook) have a feature that will quickly allow you to express interest in a post. The 'like button' is incredibly fast to use, and shows someone you're interested in what he has to say. If you're already interested in a guy, you should go out of your way to show his online posts some love and attention. If they're the sort of posts that might benefit from having a wider audience, you can even share them to your own profile.[3]

Chatting With Him Directly

  1. Ask him about his interests. One really helpful thing about using the internet to flirt is that you can learn so much about the person before going into it. A Facebook profile will have a ton of potential information to start a conversation with. In all likelihood, he'll have his favourite books, films, teams and bands available to peruse on his profile. Any one of these will make for a great conversation starter. Few guys will turn away someone who expresses a genuine interest in them, so don't be shy!
    • For example, if he made a post about a film you recently saw, you could message him randomly saying: "I saw that movie too. I was pretty excited for it and it didn't disappoint. Did you have any favourite parts?"
  2. Compliment him. No matter what you think, there isn't a person alive who won't feel good at some level about a compliment directed at them. Much like scoping out his interests, a full-bodied online profile will lend you plenty of potential reasons to compliment him. Check his recent posts or pictures; has he been up to anything interesting in life lately? Does he have a great profile picture? Send him a private message and let him know what you think.
    • Adding a smiley face emoticon is a helpful way of adding warmth to your message.
  3. Act light and playful.[4] Especially when you first start talking to a guy, you don't want to get too heavy with your conversation topics. Flirtation feeds off of light, relaxed interaction. Discussing what's going on in your lives currently, as well as common interests you have are good starting points, but a truly great conversation will take a life of its own. To effectively flirt, you should work humour and compliments into the conversation.
    • Be patient with it. If you're pure trying to flirt as a means to an end, it won't be enjoyable or even successful![3]
  4. Use emoticons in moderation.[3] Flirting online can be a difficult thing when you don't have body language to get your point across. Emoticons are a cheap substitute, sure, but they come with their own uses. If you're telling a joke that stands a chance of being taken seriously, include a wink or playful emoticon. Take heed not to use them too much however, as they'll quickly lose their effect when overused and even come off as very irritating.
  5. Make public posts on his wall. If you're interacting with your crush via Facebook, wall posting is an effective way of letting someone know you're interested in them. Keeping a post public means it will be light and fun, and it'll make your interactions openly visible to other people. Alluding to an inside joke you have, or posting some of your favourite music on his wall are both great ideas for wall posting.
    • If it's anything of a serious or personal nature, you should stick with personal messaging.
  6. Use voicechat with him. Voice chat services like Skype are free and allow you to use your computer like a telephone.[5] Once you have gotten past the initial stages of small talk and messaging back and forth, voicechat is the next recommended step. It may feel awkward at first if you haven't spoken in person before, but you'll be able to see if you have real chemistry this way.
    • Webcamming can be a fun way to approximate the experience of hanging out in person.

Behaving Online

  1. Write properly. Unless you're in grade school, relying excessively on shorthand and 'texting' language will get you nowhere when it comes to impressing someone new. Many people's only experience of you will be via your online presence, so you should do your best to appear intelligent and mature. This includes using proper spelling, relatively accurate grammar and keeping use of emoticons in moderation.[6]
  2. Be civil with your posting. Each time you make a post online, you should consider how it reflects upon you as a person. While there is a place for offensive humour and wild stories, posting it publicly will rarely get you in the good graces of people. If you're trying to impress one guy in particular, it doesn't hurt to tone down your online personality. Every guy is looking for his own set of traits in a potential girlfriend, but the vast majority would prefer to be with someone who know how to exercise some tact.
  3. Try to be nice to everyone. You won't like everyone you meet online, but given that you don't know who will see your posts, it doesn't hurt to exercise kindness and empathy. If a guy goes on your profile and sees a bunch of posts about someone you hate, hes going to feel turned off and otherwise uninterested. If you have really negative thoughts to get off your chest, they're better suited for private messaging.
  4. Keep your public flirting focused on one person. Even if you're legitimately interested in someone, he won't feel as invested in you if he see you treating multiple other guys the same way. If you're interested in harmless flirting with numerous individuals, you should take care to keep it largely private. It is alright if hints of it are made public, but you don't want to be perceived as tease. If that happens, it will become more difficult to find someone when you're actually serious about seeking out a partner.

Tips

  • If you live within living distance of someone you're interested in, you shouldn't hesitate to ask them to spend time with you in person. Internet flirting can be fun but it shouldn't be considered an end goal. A relationship with someone in person is much more satisfying.
  • There are chatrooms online that are specifically based around flirting and improving social skills. Seek one of them up if you feel your flirting format is a bit rough and needs polish.[7]

Warnings

  • Don't ever give too much of yourself away online. Any posts you make online can be taken and used by other people, and you should never fully trust someone you haven't met online before.
  • Save the big milestones (like confessing your feelings) for in-person. Letting someone know how you really feel can be an emotionally intense experience, and you'll be missing out on it if you cop out with an online message. The guy in question will also be less likely to take you seriously if you do all of your interacting online.
  • Flirting online may be harmless fun, but it is considered a form of cheating by some people. It is not recommended if you're currently in a relationship.[7]

Sources and Citations