Gain Parental Trust As a Teen

When a teenage kid wants freedom, it seems at that point, parents are the most controlling. Inside, they want to gain your trust and let you have your teenage freedom, and they may sometimes (but not always) not trust you. Trust is something you build up. This article will help you earn your parents' trust and might make the relationship between parent and teen stronger.

Steps

  1. If your parents tell you to do something, do it immediately. Yes, you have to do the laundry or empty the dishwasher the first time. Don't whine about it or say you will get to it later. Just do it!
  2. Be sure you have all the details about any place you're going to. This way you can tell your parents what is going to happen. You will need to let them know when you have to be somewhere, who will be there, what adults will be there, what the activity involves, and what time it will be over. They want to know you are safe when you are away from them.
  3. Tell your parents if you're going to be driven somewhere. Before you do, make sure that person has good intentions, has a license, and is an experienced driver before you ask for permission. You need to contact your parents when you arrive/leave and ask permission if plans are changed and you want to go somewhere else. If they say, "No", accept it without arguing.
  4. Keep your cool if your parents don't let you do something. Shouting back and arguing gives a bad impression and makes you look like a 2 year old. After all, they may be right in not letting you do that activity.
  5. Do all of your chores and homework. Do these without always being asked to do them. With homework, don't just do written homework. You should also study what was covered in class and read ahead to be prepared for the next class.
  6. Say something only if you mean it. Don't respond out of emotion.
  7. If your parents accuse you of doing something you didn't do, relax and calmly tell your side of the story. They will be able to understand you.
  8. Make sure to do little things for your parents, like fill their drink or make breakfast, without being asked. Your parents will love you even more and will do things you want to do for a chance.
  9. If you made a mistake, big or small, admit that you were wrong and don't make any excuses or blame something or someone, because if you do, your apologies will seem fake and not meaningful.
  10. Don't get angry if your parents give you advice, even when you know what to do already. Just really listen to them, say thanks and tell them you will consider it. This will help your parents know that you are listening and are accepting advice.
  11. Do not take advantage of your parents. Would you trust someone whom you know is simply using you?
  12. Always follow curfew rules. Even if the party is "just getting started," go home when you're supposed to. Even better, be home before you are asked to be home. Remember: is one trivial party going to be worth the trouble and distrust you're going to get (in)?
  13. If they don't approve of something you are doing and begin to scold or punish you for it, don't talk back or scream; just stay quiet and keep your comments to your self. This will make arguments and scoldings end quicker, and will keep them less angry at you.
  14. If your parents say that "you are wrong" or say something along those lines, don't argue, just say "Okay, I'm sorry." in a calm and cool manner.
  15. If you have to think twice about something, don't do it. Doing something that is illegal or not permitted will be one of the fastest ways to lose your parents trust.
  16. Act maturely. This will help to gain their confidence fast.
  17. Show respect by abiding by their rules, doing what they ask, and not talking back or throwing insults at them. Learning to bite your tongue is a great skill learned as you mature. Arguing, asking over and over, badgering them, twisting their words, trying to guilt them, pleading, trying to make deals with them, etc. will only put you that much further away from earning their trust.
  18. Associate with people of good character. Your parents want to know you have the good decision making skills of choosing friends or people to hang out with that are only going to be a positive influence in your life.

Tips

  • Don't lie.
  • If your parents talk to you about the same thing over and over, just do what they say for a change. It takes a lot of stress away from you and them.
  • Love them no matter what happens, even if it means you can't do the things you want to do.
  • If you take offense right away, tell your parents you need time to yourself to cool off, they'll understand.
  • Even though you should earn their trust, remember not to do everything for them no matter what; if you can't trust them, their trust of you is useless.
  • Don't drink alcohol or smoke
  • Do your chores but don't ask for money for doing it.
  • Don't apologize sarcastically, as it will only make matters worse.
  • Don't hide things from you're parents, it will always comeback and haunt you.
  • Don't use things as social media if you're not allowed. Don't hide it or it will come back and haunt you. The truth always comes out.
  • Don't hurt your siblings if you have any.

Warnings

  • If you think your parents won't understand, don't give up. Just keep on going and soon things will turn out positive, hopefully.
  • If your parents are upset, give them a shoulder to cry on.
  • If your parents have blamed you for something that you did not do, before you explain your side of the story let them finish, then calmly say, "I'm sorry for what happened and how can I help to make it better?"
  • Do not talk back to your parents; bad things happen when you do and it’s disrespectful.
    • Don't tell them that they don't know what they are talking about; this can make your parents very angry. Remember that they were teenagers as well, so they obviously must know what they are talking about.

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