Get Revenge on Your Ex

If you and your ex broke up because s/he did something nasty to you, it's only fair to want revenge. Don't get back, get even! Revenge is one of the most basic human emotions, and it should be meted out with care, so don't take it too far. But when it comes time to humiliate your ex for all the wrong they did to you, look no further!

Steps

Getting Revenge by Moving On

  1. Hang around or get with a "rebound" date. Rebound dates are fun because you're not really expecting anything serious, other than some serious fun. Make sure the person you're rebounding with knows that you just got out of a relationship and want to keep it casual. Unless you actually want a relationship, in which case, go for it!
    • If the rebound is a guy/girl that your ex hates, your revenge will be even sweeter. This tactic works especially well on ex-boyfriends. Remember that guy who you ex couldn't stand? He'd be perfect to mess with your ex.
    • Choose someone manlier than your ex-guy or sexier than your ex-girl. Both guys and girls can be insecure about their manliness or femininity. Push their buttons by making them second-guess.
    • Be around your ex with your new rebound. In the same way that you'd be trying to avoid your ex if you were trying to get over him, you're going to want to be around him with your rebound if you're trying to make him jealous. A tree in the forest doesn't make a sound if no one is there to hear it.
  2. Date one of his/her friends. This one is tricky, because you're potentially pulling two friends apart — forever. If you're okay with that idea, then by all means, go on. It'll make him/her super jealous.
  3. Go traveling/adventuring if you can. Turn over a new stone by traveling somewhere new. If you can't get across the globe, go to someplace close by, and go with some friends. Globe- or city-trekking is a great way to remind your ex that you're putting yourself out there, experiencing new vistas, and taking life by the horns!
    • Publicize your travels. On Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, tell your social network (including your ex) where you're going and what you're doing. Pictures are essential.
      • Master the art of the "humblebrag". Humblebragging is when you brag but pretend you're being humble. It goes something like this: "Seriously?! I have outta control curls, I’m wearing sweats, Uggs, sunglasses and no makeup, and still I get honked at."
    • Meet new people. What's the use of going on an adventure if you don't meet people to make your ex jealous? By all means, have fun, but be sure to have a couple new friends you can name-drop when you get home so that your ex can only imagine what happened.
  4. Do something nice for yourself. Go to the gym with all the free time you have now; buy that new dress or sweater you've been dying to sport ever since Spring; get yourself some of the fro-yo from the new shop that just opened up. Treat yourself. You deserve it. The happiness you'll get from it will surely make your ex jealous.

Getting Revenge by Pranking

  1. Remember a couple guidelines before you prank. You want fun, not chaos or destruction. Before any prank, think about its effects. If you think he might go into a depression or get hurt, don't go any further. If you want him hurt, let karma handle it. Only do lighthearted pranks that cannot produce any damage aside from a bruised ego.
  2. Using his phone number for a prank. You've got to get some use out of his phone number now that you're not texting or calling him every day. Right?! Here's how.
    • Place a singles ad with your ex's phone number in newspapers and websites. If the ad is raunchy and includes a picture of a semi naked girl all the better
    • If your ex is a straight man, go to a popular chat site, register your ex's mobile number, and post a message describing that "you're a horny girl who just wants to have some fun." (It works very well!)
  3. Hire a male stripper. If your ex is a man, and you know his address, hire a male stripper and send him to your ex's residence (especially when you know he's going to have all his mates around). Even better if the stripper is a man dressed up as a woman.
  4. Subscribe your ex to all sorts of weird sex magazines. Send those magazines to your ex's neighbor's address, so the neighbor/s will think that your ex is perverted and sex-staved.
  5. Do a head-fake. Send him/her a text saying "I love you" or "I miss you", then send them another text shortly after saying "Oh, crap! Sorry that message wasn't meant for you." WARNING : VERY CHILDISH
  6. Sign them up for spam. Register their interest along with their name, e-mail and address to every credit card / company / spam site that you can find.

Getting Revenge by Subtler Means

  1. Bumper sticker his/her car. This one's great if he parks his car outside and doesn't have a garage. It will sting even more if he has a nice ride and you put on the bumper stickers all crooked.
    • Think of bumper stickers that will really annoy him. If he has a political party, bumper sticker his car with the opposite party. If he hates the color pink, get a bunch of pink bumper stickers. Don't get caught sticking them on his car or you might be charged with vandalism.
  2. Hack into his/her Facebook and send out ridiculous messages. Maybe he was careless enough to leave his Facebook account on your computer, or maybe he gave you his password. If you have access to his account, you'll get one good chance to hack into it, change his picture, his status, and/or send a out a bunch of questionable messages to people.
    • Change his profile picture to something suspect — again, use your judgment: go for awkward, stupid, or incomprehensible — and blast his entire network with an embarrassing update like: "I just found out that I have irritable bowel syndrome."
    • Message his not-so-close friends — his close friends will know it's not him — and say some weird/ridiculous or tell them what he did to you, especially if he cheated.
  3. Ambush another one of his/her dates. If he's having dinner at a nice restaurant with another lady, call up the maître d' and ask to leave him a message. (Describe what he's wearing and what he looks like so that the maître d' will be able to identify him.) Get the maître d' to ask him when his wife can expect him to be home. Date ruined!
  4. Dump his/her stuff. If your boyfriend/girlfriend was always over at your apartment, eating your food and leaving clothes around like some prehistoric brute, it may be time to hold a little auction. Sell or give away the items that your ex significant other gifted you or left at your home; make sure to put out yard sale signs where they'll be sure to pass by, and use the cash for a nice little treat — a new purse, a day at the spa, or a pretty necklace.
  5. Research any other wikiHow articles on how to humiliate him any further. You should do this to have fun at his expense, but take care not to hurt him, as that would defeat the purpose.

Tips

  • Also, the more time you sit thinking about how to hurt them is more time you are losing that you could be enjoying life and moving on. Karma will usually handle it better than you ever could.
  • The best revenge is to just get on with life. If you feel unfit go to the gym, if your ex loved your hair and you didn't change it. Get a new job if you work together or go for the promotion she/he wants. Just enjoy life and say thank god you're not with them anymore. Revenge is sweet but them being jealous of you is the icing on the cake
  • Never go too far with revenge. You may want to get a little revenge, but going too far can hurt the other persons feelings a lot.

Warnings

  • If you hack his Facebook account, there is a good chance that you're breaking the law. Make sure you read up all laws regarding computer crimes in your country.

Related Articles

Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Get_Revenge_on_Your_Ex&oldid=323003"