Get Sent Home from School

Even the best of students needs a break some days. But teachers and school nurses have years of practice identifying the signs and symptoms of fakers. So what's the best way for you to get sent home to enjoy a day off? You might fake a contagious disease or claim an embarrassing condition, but whichever you decide on, all you need is a little commitment and consistency and soon you'll be home watching TV instead of doing busywork in class.

Steps

Claiming an Embarrassing Condition

  1. Choose an embarrassing sickness. You'll want to choose something that is common, but something that most people would be embarrassed to admit. This will give more credibility to your story, as your school nurse or office worker will think it unlikely that you would admit to something embarrassing if it weren't necessary.[1] Some examples include:
  2. Prepare to talk to your teacher. You'll have to convince your teacher to tell her that you aren't feeling well, but before you do, make your story more believable by going to the bathroom several times. Space out your bathroom breaks by about 20 to 30 minutes, and if your teacher questions you, tell her that you've been feeling, "A little funny."
  3. Approach your teacher privately. After making a few trips to the bathroom, you're ready to talk to your teacher about getting sent home. Be sure that you are appropriately embarrassed about your condition and try to talk to your teacher one-on-one. Don't come right out and admit that you have diarrhea or gas. Instead, describe it in a different way, like:
    • "I've been having to go to the bathroom a lot today and my tummy's really upset. I keep having to go and it's really bad. I just want to lay down for a little bit."
    • "I'm sorry I keep having to go to the bathroom. I'm really embarrassed, but I keep passing gas. It's really bad and I don't want anyone to laugh at me."
  4. Stick to your story. You'll likely have to jump through one more hoop before you are sent home. The last obstacle before you get sent home will likely be your school nurse or an office worker. As long as you don't change your story and continue being embarrassed about your condition, you'll likely be sent home before too long.
    • Stress the fact that your stomach is upset and that you want to lay down for a little while.
    • You may want to get a false scent that imitates bad gas and spritz some of this around you when no one is looking. These kind of sprays can be bought at novelty stores, magic shops, and online.

Faking a Fever

  1. Master your symptoms. A convincing sign that you are ill will put you in arm's distance of a thermometer, which is key to faking a fever. If you claim too many symptoms, like a headache, dizziness, and nausea, that is usually a dead giveaway you are faking. It's better to pick a single symptom, like a headache, and one feeling associated with that symptom.[1] For example, you might say:
    • "I have a headache and every time I stand up I feel a little dizzy. This has never happened to me before. Is this normal? I don't feel good."
    • "My stomach's upset. I don't know why, it just started hurting last night and this morning I had to go to the bathroom real bad. Can I go lay down for a while?"
  2. Earn access to a school thermometer. Once you have gained access to the nurse's office of the waiting area of your school's office, you are in reaching distance of the school thermometer. The thermometer will be your key to getting sent home. Stick to your symptoms. Now that you're out of class, you should tell the adult watching you that you feel warm and ask for a thermometer.
  3. Find a heat source or raise your body temperature. This will require some stealth or planning. You must be careful the adult in charge of taking your temperature doesn't even suspect that you are artificially raising your temperature. If he does, you're chances are getting sent home are next to nil. When faking out the thermometer, you'll have to be careful not to raise the temperature too high. The ideal fake-sick temperature is between 99.5°F (37.5°C) and 100°F (37.78°C). To fake out the thermometer, you might:
    • Do some light exercise on your way to the office/nurse's room. This can artificially raise your body temperature.
    • Drink hot water before going to the office or the nurse's room.
    • Hold the thermometer close to a heat source, like a desk lamp.[1]
  4. Repeat your symptom and feeling. Consistency is key; repeating a thing makes it more believable.[3] By telling the nurse or a school office worker that the same thing, over and over again might get you sent home, even if your temperature is normal.
  5. Stay calm in the final stretch. When you hear those sweet words, "We're calling your parents," it's easy to lose perspective. If you tip your hand and reveal that you're not really sick by celebrating, you may never be able to use this trick again, or you may even get in trouble.

Claiming Contagion

  1. Understand school policy. Though some schools may differ, generally, where infectious illnesses are concerned, a student will be sent home if he is infectious rather than risk infecting other students. Pink eye is ideal for these purposes, as it is highly contagious and easy to fake.[1]
  2. Gather your pink eye faking materials. These should be kept in your locker and applied at some point during the day, like when you take a bathroom break or in between classes. To fake pink eye, you'll need:
    • Red lipstick OR
    • Hair gel[1]
  3. Apply your phony pink eye product. If you are using red lipstick, you'll only need a small amount; too much will be spotted immediately as a fake, so you may want to apply your pink eye product in the bathroom. Rub the lipstick along the lids of a single eye. If you are using hair gel, again, take only a very small amount and rub it along the lids of your eye.[1]
  4. Have a patsy. If you claim, out of the blue, that you have pink eye, your teacher or the school nurse might doubt you. Instead, have a person on which you can blame your condition, like a cousin you visited over the weekend, or a younger sibling who is still in pre-school.

Inducing Vomiting with Ipecac

  1. Buy some ipecac syrup at your local pharmacy. Most local pharmacies sell this vomit inducing agent over the counter as a syrup. Ipecac syrup is made from a plant that contains chemicals that irritate your digestive tract and cause your brain to believe that you need to throw up.[4]
    • This is a convincing way to get your teacher to send you home from school. She will likely think you are sick and send you home right away.[2]
  2. Observe label directions. Depending on the brand of ipecac syrup you buy and the way in which it is administered, there may be special instructions that you need to keep in mind.[5] Taking too much ipecac syrup may have serious health effects, including possible damage to your heart and muscles.
  3. Take with a full glass of water. Generally, you should take one to two full glasses of water (8 to 16 ounces) to help the ipecac syrup induce vomiting.[4][5] It may be an effective strategy for you to keep some ipecac syrup in your locker. This way you can excuse yourself from class for a drink of water or to retrieve a notebook and take your ipecac then.
  4. Avoid milk and carbonated beverages. Milk and even milk based products may reduce the effects of ipecac syrup, so you should avoid these before taking it.[5] Carbonated beverages, on the other hand, can cause your stomach to swell, which may cause discomfort.[5]
  5. Take a second dose if vomiting does not occur in 20 to 30 minutes.[6] Generally, ipecac syrup should take effect and cause you to vomit in less than a half hour. If it does not, you can take a second dose with another one to two glasses of water.[4]
    • Do not exceed the label recommendations for how much ipecac syrup you take.
  6. Plan your spew location for greatest effect. While you might be able to get sent home simply by vomiting in the bathroom, if you want to guarantee being sent home, you should vomit in class and in sight of your teacher. Since ipecac syrup can take effect quickly, be sure you have quick and easy access to a garbage can.

Tips

  • Be careful not to be caught when faking an illness. If you are, it will make it much more difficult in the future to fake an illness, and could result in punishment.
  • You could also try eating sugarfree candy or chewing sugarfree gum to give you diarrhoea. Bear in mind that you WILL get sick from this!

Warnings

  • Do not take too much ipecac; using more than is recommended on the label can be very harmful for your health.[5][4]

Related Articles

Sources and Citation

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 http://www.associates-degree-in-nursing.org/illness/
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 http://www.ewashtenaw.org/government/departments/public_health/disease_control/cd_fact_sheets/child_sent_home.pdf
  3. ↑ https://webfiles.uci.edu/eloftus/Foster_Repetition_ActaPsych2012.pdf?uniq=7a5h8l
  4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-157-IPECAC.aspx?activeIngredientId=157&activeIngredientName=IPECAC
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3 5.4 http://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/ipecac-syrup-oral-route/proper-use/drg-20064363
  6. ↑ http://www.drugs.com/ppa/ipecac-syrup.html
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