Get Ungrounded
Did you get grounded for something and now you're missing out on all the fun stuff you could have been doing? With a little work you can show your parents that you've learned your lesson and are ready to or have already changed. Just get started with Step 1 below to learn how!
Contents
Steps
Showing Responsibility at Home
- Change your attitude. Start off by changing the attitude that you have around your house. You're probably angry at your parents for grounding you and you're probably upset about other stuff too. That's okay! Everyone gets upset and has stressful feelings. But if you want to show your parents that you're being responsible and are going to act like an adult, it means that you have to show them that you can handle being upset like an adult too.
- Don't act upset or mope around the house. Instead, make the most of your time while you're grounded and keep a positive attitude.
- Don't be passive-aggressive with your parents or rude to them. Even if your grounding wasn't fair, being mean to them because of it will not help get you un-grounded.
- Be respectful and nice to your parents. When talking to your parents, use polite language like "please", "thank you", and "ma'am" or "sir" if your parents prefer those terms. When you talk to your parents, use a voice that is calm, quiet, and friendly. When you can, do nice things for them, such as helping them get out the door in the morning or cleaning up their plate at dinner.
- Do chores around the house. Do chores around the house to show that you're ready to grow up and take responsibility. Vacuum the house, clean the toilet, wash the windows, keep your room very tidy, do the dishes, and pick up after any younger siblings (or messy older siblings!) that you have.
- You can also ask your parents if there's a chore that they'd like help with.
- Cleaning out the garage, basement, or attic is also very helpful, since your parents often ignore this because it is very time consuming.
- Help out your family members. Be very kind to your family members and help them out or generally do nice things for them. This can mean playing with younger siblings and helping them get ready in the morning (even helping them with their homework!), or it might mean making your grandmother a special dinner and bringing it to her house. You can also help your parents, by doing things like ironing their work shirts or making them a lunch.
- Just make sure you ask your family members if it's okay to help them before you do anything.
- Find other productive ways to use your time. When you're grounded, you often won't be allowed to do the fun stuff that you normally do. While you might want to sit around the house and be angry because you're bored, find better ways to spend your time if you want to make your parents see that you're ready to be ungrounded.
- For example, you could read a book. This is also very calming and lets you feel like you get to escape!
- Another good option is to use the time to teach yourself a new skill. You could teach yourself how to do a better free throw, how to draw, or anything else that seems fun to you.
Showing Responsibility at School
- Be respectful to your teachers. Show the same respect to your teachers that you would show to a military general. Speak to them politely, pay attention when they talk, and never talk back to them. You should also think about honestly asking them for advice and help, and then taking the advice and help. Even if a teacher seems mean, when you have an honest relationship with them their hearts will melt and you will get along better than ever before.
- Just remember that if you were very bad before, it might take time and some work to build up trust.
- Be kind to your fellow students. Don't bully, tease, or pick fights with your fellow students. If they try to fight you, get help from an adult. Anyone that teases you for asking an adult for help was just looking for an excuse to be mean to you anyway and you don't really want to be friends with them. They're jerks!
- Work on your studies. Work really hard on your schoolwork to try to get your grades up. Do your homework as soon as you get home, study for your tests, and ask your teacher about extra credit.
- Get tutoring if you need it. If you're having a hard time with the work, ask your teacher about getting a tutor or staying during lunch to get extra help. You can also get friends to help you, if they're better at the subject than you.
- Tutor others when you can. If you're good in another subject, ask your teacher if there is anybody in your class or in a lower grade that might need tutoring. Being responsible like this and helpful to other people will really impress your parents.
Talking to Your Parents
- Ask your parents to talk. Once you've shown your parents how responsible you are, ask them if you all can sit down together and have a serious talk. Say something like:
- "Mom, Dad, would it be okay if we had a meeting after dinner to talk about the way I acted? I'd like it if we can work together to find a solution and make things better."
- Explain why you acted the way you did. Tell your parents why you did the bad thing you did. It's a good thing for them to understand your feelings and thoughts. They should see that you thought you were doing the right thing or that you were struggling with some tough feelings. Say something like:
- "I'm sorry that I was fighting with Becky. She took my journal and that made me feel really violated and angry."
- Acknowledge why what you did was wrong. Never make excuses for what you did or make it seem like it was someone else's problem. Say that you know what you did was wrong and upset them, even if you don't really agree. Then, tell them why what you did was wrong. This will help them see that you've learned your lesson. Say something like:
- "It was wrong to hit Becky. I know that. Hitting her isn't going to make better what she did. I should have come to you."
- Apologize and ask for forgiveness. Apologize again, in a sincere, meaningful way. Ask them to forgive you and what they would like you to do in order to make things better.
- Consider asking to be totally ungrounded. This is the biggest risk. If you get grounded a lot or what you did made your parents really angry, this is probably not going to work and might even make things worse. After seeing how good you've been, your parents might feel manipulated and betrayed. Be careful if you decide to go this route.
- Say something like, "You were right. I made a mistake. But I've really learned my lesson. I was really hoping that you'd think about letting me off of this punishment. I promise, will change and be better in the future."
- Consider asking to be grounded for a shorter time. A safer option is to ask to be grounded for less time. If you were supposed to be grounded for a month, for example, and you've already done two weeks, ask to have the last week taken off.
- Say something like: "I think I've shown you that I'm willing to change and improve. I hope you agree. If you do and I continue to show good behavior, can we end my grounding a little bit earlier?"
- Consider asking for a change to your grounding. Renegotiate the terms of your grounding. See if they're willing to make exceptions for big events that you would be missing because of your grounding, such as your prom or a weekend summer camp. Ask to be allowed to attend your important event in exchange for an extra week or two of being grounded. Your parents will probably like this option best.
- You can also ask for a change to your restrictions. For example, you can ask to remain grounded but now be allowed to certain tv programs or have some (but less than normal) time on the computer.
- Consider not asking to be ungrounded. This is a risky option but has more benefits than you'd think. If you don't get grounded very often, then just having good behavior might be enough to get your parents to let you do stuff even if you are still grounded (as long as you ask really nicely). If you get grounded more often, taking your punishment like a mature adult and showing all this good behavior might earn points with your parents in the future.
Preventing Future Grounding
- Find other ways to solve your conflicts. A lot of the time, the reason that you get grounded is for starting fights at school, arguing with your siblings, or being rude to your parents. It's very normal and reasonable to be upset when you think people have treated you unfairly, but if everyone went around starting fights and being mean every time something didn't go their way, what do you think the world would be like? Being rude or violent also stops you from actually solving the problem that you're having. Instead, try talking to the person you're having a problem with or to an adult that can help.
- Remember that sometimes things in life are just hard and unpleasant. There might not be a way to get around problems sometimes, but by staying calm and kind you'll be becoming more like an adult and less like a kid.
- Find study solutions. Another common source of groundings is bad grades and reports from your teachers. While it's fun to blow off school and hang out with your friends instead, it's really important to work hard in school. If you don't you'll have a really hard time in the future, getting a job and paying for the things you want. If you don't feel smart, talk to your teacher. They may be able to find a way to help you understand the material better.
- Think about the people you hang out with. Sometimes your friends make you into a bad person. Even if your friends themselves are pretty cool people, sometimes putting the two of you together makes things harder for both of you. If you have friends that want you to do things that get you in trouble or put you in danger, those people are not your friends. They're selfish. You should get friends that really care about you.
- Pick up some fun hobbies. Having fun things to do that keep you busy and away from things your parents don't like can be a great way to prevent yourself from getting grounded in the future. Picking up a musical instrument, starting writing short stories or poetry, teaching yourself how to draw, or even just starting an exercise routine can all be fun ways to spend your time.
- Get some ideas for new hobbies by exploring wikiHow!
- You can even make wikiHow your hobby! We can always use more help keeping away the trolls!
- Make goals for yourself. When we're working towards a goal, it's easier to stay on track and out of trouble. Give yourself a goal and start working towards that goal. Maybe you want to save up for a new Xbox? Find work around your neighborhood and save up. You can even get your parents to pay you small amounts of money each time you get a good grade.
- Working hard like this will no only make things better for you, it will also show your parents that you are mature. This will make them much more likely to forgive you when you do make mistakes.
- Find ways to relax and get away. Sometimes, when it's our behavior that gets us in trouble, we're acting out and causing trouble because we're stressed, worried, or angry. If you want to avoid getting grounded for bad behavior like this, it's a good idea to find good ways to release those bad feelings and get away from the things that are causing you problems.
- Going for a walk is a great way to get away from annoying family problems and relax.
- Reading in a quiet spot is also a great way to relax.
Tips
- Don't complain when asked to do something or this will make your parent even more mad.
- Don't start yelling and arguing with them it will only make the problem worse
- Do not be too obvious in what you are doing or it will not work.
- When told that you are being grounded, just say okay. Don't argue with them or they may worsen the punishment.
- Be careful when asking to be ungrounded; bothering your parents about it may only make your punishment worse if you aren't cautious.
Warnings
Don't ask your parents to get ungrounded and also just sit and talk with them and say I'm sorry for the actions that you may have caused
Related Articles
- Get Off of Being Grounded
- Convince Your Parents to Get off Restrictions
- Have Fun While You Are Grounded
- Secretly Play Video Games when You're Grounded
