Handle Awkward Friend Requests on Facebook

When Facebook turns into Stalk book, what's a Facebook devotee to do? Are those friend requests worth accepting or is it a smarter idea to sidestep the unknown, the indefinable, and the downright weird requests in favor of a tight group of true Facebook pals? If, like most people, you would like less people ogling you and more genuine friendships forming the core of your Facebook experience, you will need to learn how to handle awkward friend requests so you have the optimal Facebook experience.

Steps

  1. Make a pre-emotive move to keep the awkward friend requests from even reaching you. Block someone who freaks you out by searching his or her name and clicking on "Report/block this person". That way, should they ever wish to waste their time trying to friend you on Facebook, it's never going to happen. The sorts to look for? Old Deal With School Enemies, that bloke who keeps ogling you at the watercooler and anyone from your extended family that ran away with all the cash.
    • If you're concerned about complete strangers sending you friend requests, go to your privacy settings and click "Edit Settings" for "How You Connect". For "Who can send you friend requests?" select "Friends of Friends".
  2. Feign ignorance. If you decline a request, Facebook won't send out screaming notifications the person has been denied. The two of you will just not be connected on Facebook is all. Therefore, it is not too far of a stretch to say that you never got the friend request, if confronted about it. What you will want to do is block the person as soon as you receive their request. If they ask you about it, say that you are no longer using Facebook. Since you have blocked them, they will no longer see any more activity of yours on Facebook, so your story will be more believable. If, however, they are savvy enough to search for you using another account which you haven't blocked (or even simply while logged out), you might be in trouble.
  3. Alternatively, be upfront. If declining a friend request from your boss, for example, keep it short and polite. Something like "Hi, I received your friend request. I'd like to keep my personal and professional lives separated. Thank you for understanding!" should do it, plus showing a huge dollop of professional initiative on your behalf. You could also offer to add them on LinkedIn instead.
  4. Delay the acceptance and reflect. If you have just met someone while networking or pub-crawling and they are slobbering all over you with a Facebook friend request before you've even gotten back home and put your PJs on, click on "Not Now". This will hide the request until later; giving you time to decide whether this new acquaintance is someone you want to add to your Facebook crowd.
  5. Review your privacy settings. Just because you have declined a friend request does not mean they cannot see what you are doing on Facebook. Use those privacy controls to limit the amount seen in your profile by non-friends. Go through each item and make everything "friends only".
    • Use the "Limited Profile" Friend list to restrict what certain people can see. Under the Account -> Edit Friends, go to "Create a List". Add people to new lists according to what you classify them as (for example, best friends, My Flirts, Acquaintances, Parental, etc.). Then apply privacy settings as a whole to that list and be worry free.
  6. Bar future requests. When you deny a friend request on Facebook, you'll be sent a prompt asking you if you know this person outside Facebook itself. If you select "Yes", Facebook will let the person try to add you again (clearly once they've realized that you're not responsive) but if you select "No", they'll be barred from sending you any further requests.
  7. Enjoy being discerning about your friendships on Facebook. It's one thing to have the village following your updates and quite another to have the whole city knowing your movements. Accept the people who count in your life and break loose from the rest.



Tips

  • Don't explain. If someone with whom you don't want to be Facebook Friends sends you a Friend request, just delete it. If you don't know them well enough to Friend them, you don't know them well enough to explain in a way they will accept. Some people will take it as a personal rejection, no matter how carefully you construct your message. You wouldn't send a personal message when you Unfriend someone, so think of it like that and resist the urge to give reasons.

Things You'll Need

  • A visit to your privacy settings (go on, they're getting easier to use)

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Sources and Citations

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