Keep a Straight Face

So you're trying to keep a straight face, whether to hide your horrible lie, or not to make your friend feel bad. Here are a few tips on looking normal while experiencing a really funny incident!

Steps

  1. Breath deeply. It is a great way to keep a straight face for a short period of time.
  2. Focus on relaxing all the muscles of your face. It's easy with a little practice.
  3. Immediately think of a math problem that you don't readily know the answer to and try to solve it in your head. Seven times thirty-eight. One fifty-four divided by six. This will keep your brain just distracted enough until the moment passes.
  4. Clench your teeth and don't let your mouth open. If you do, then the greater the possibility that you will burst out laughing.
  5. Though you know about the situation, don't think about it. We've all had funny times where we shouldn't be laughing. Try to think about something bad that happened to you, such as the time you got punched in the face.
  6. Keep a straight face for a second, turn to the side, put your mouth in your elbow (as you are coughing) and let out a laugh, make it full of air. Then cough.
  7. Keep a straight face. Then say something funny (you can laugh while you say it) if it's the right time.
  8. Clench your fists too. This is better if you have nails because they will hurt. Then you will find it harder to laugh if it is painful.
  9. Think of less funny incidents. Especially sad or embarrassing ones.
  10. Escape before you infect the laughter!
  11. When playing poker it is sometimes helpful to think deeply/hard. This usually prevents frowning or smiling, giving away your hand.
  12. Bite the side of your cheek, or the inside of your top lip really hard. If you bite the inside of your lip it will look like you are concerned.
  13. Bite the tip of your tongue with your side teeth - it is completely invisible, and very effective.
  14. Think of something, like when you're all alone, to make you sad or bite your lip.
  15. Practice by yourself. You could always get better.
  16. Think about funny things while practicing in front of a mirror. It will help you keep control when you try it on a friend.
  17. When you get better start taking burns from friends say ouch and then use that face for as long as it takes them to break.
  18. Think of something appropriate to the situation. If it's a situation that makes your friend sad, think of something sad. If it's a situation that makes your friend angry, think of something that makes you angry. That should help you get the appropriate face for whatever is going on.
  19. Use your middle finger to scratch the tip of your thumb (it sounds silly, but it works!).
  20. Crack your knuckles.
  21. Sigh or yawn. Scratch your nose to hide a smile.

Tips

  • If you are wearing close-toed shoes, curl your toes as tightly as possible.
  • If in a situation where it would not be rude to look away, try to direct your eyes opposite of where the amusing event is. If you are in a situation where this would be rude, you can still do it if you are wearing dark sunglasses.
  • You can also try to pass off a smile as a smirk. It may not be useful in poker, but if you are simply trying to keep up a serious attitude, a dangerous smirk can keep the mood that a joyful smile would break.
  • When you feel close to breaking into a smile or laugh, speak as if what you're saying is incredibly serious or simply informative, rather than amusing, especially when handling sarcasm or situational irony.
  • Just don't pay attention to a funny situation that happened. Think about something else.

Warnings

  • Do not bite your cheek or tongue too hard. Then you will have a grimace and a bleeding inner cheek!

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