Kiss on a Dare

Truth or dare is a game that most kids play at some point, and the dare to kiss someone is likely to come up. Kissing on a dare can be a stressful experience, especially if it’s your first kiss. It can also be an exciting way to initiate a first kiss. If you find yourself dared to kiss someone, consider a few things before jumping right in.

Steps

Choosing to Take the Dare

  1. Ask the person who dared you if they are serious about it. In a game of truth or dare, people sometimes joke about what they are daring you to do. Making sure they are serious about the dare could help you avoid embarrassment.
    • Replying with a brief laugh and simply saying, “Are you serious?” is enough to double check. If they say no then you can always tell them you want to take the dare anyway.
  2. Decide if you want to accept the dare. Ask yourself if you are comfortable kissing someone or not. Remember that it’s okay to say no to a dare. If you feel uncomfortable kissing the person, then don’t do it. It’s better to say no than to do something you don’t want to do.
  3. Ask the person if you can kiss them. Since kissing involves two people, you need to make sure it’s okay with the person you were dared to kiss. They may not feel comfortable with it, even if you want to do it.
    • Asking permission is called “gaining consent.” In situations like this, it is the right choice. Kissing someone without asking them first can actually be considered sexual assault.[1]By asking their permission, you make the situation safe for both of you.

Getting Ready for the Dare

  1. Freshen your breath. Fresh breath is an important aspect of a good kiss. If you have a bad taste in your mouth, the person you kiss probably won’t like it. Think about what you ate recently and breathe into your hand to check for bad breath. Practicing healthy dental hygiene is a good long-term practice.[2]
    • There are many ways to freshen your breath. Brushing your teeth is the best option if you have time. If time is more limited, chew some gum, eat a mint, or swish with mouthwash.
    • If it’s possible to plan ahead for the chance of a kissing dare, buy a disposable toothbrush to have handy.
  2. Take some deep breaths. Kissing usually causes excitement throughout your body. It increases your heart rate and makes you breathe more quickly. You want to be calm for the kiss, so take slow, deep breaths for a few seconds.[3]
  3. Talk to the person you’re going to kiss. This may apply more to times when the person is a stranger. Making small talk and asking how the other person feels about kissing can ease the pressure. Talking about the kiss before you do it can give you confidence.

Completing the Dare

  1. Move in for the kiss slowly. When the excitement of the moment rushes over you, it’s easy to move your mouth forward too quickly. If you go too fast, you may actually hit your mouth against the other person’s mouth causing pain for both of you. Don’t be afraid to lean forward slowly to make sure you connect just right.[4]
  2. Place your hand on the back of the head and pull it forward gently. If touching the hair doesn’t feel quite right, you can also place a hand on the shoulder. This type of touching is just a way to help steady yourself and the other kisser.[5]
  3. Tilt your head to the right. Not tilting your head the right way is a common mistake. In general, people are more likely to lean to the right.[6]This may not prove effective every time, but the odds are good. (Which way to lean is also a good topic for the pre-kiss talk!)
  4. Be gentle. Since this kiss is on a dare, it’s likely that you will not know the person you’re kissing very well. It is best to start out slowly and not be too aggressive. Don’t use your tongue unless you feel your partner initiate it.[7]
  5. Kiss for the right amount of time. If the kiss is going well, it’s okay to let it last a little while. If you start to feel uncomfortable, or you can tell the other person is, go ahead and end the kiss.[8]
  6. End the kiss. It seems obvious, but how the kiss ends is important. Don’t pull away too quickly. If the kiss went on for a while, pulling away and then giving a light, short kiss is a good way to end it.

Moving on After the Dare

  1. Smile. Once you have successfully completed the kiss and you are looking at each other, it may feel awkward. Smiling at your partner will help put both of you at ease. Whether the kiss went well or not, ending it with a smile is better than a frown.[9]
  2. Don’t overthink it. The kiss was for a dare, so don’t take it too seriously. You may be breathing heavily, so take a deep breath like you did before the kiss. If you feel comfortable, talk to the person you kissed about the experience. Breaking the possibly awkward silence will help you move past the kiss and relax.
  3. Act confidently. Since dares usually take place in front of other people, you may as well act like you did a great job! Don’t show if you are afraid. Don’t show that you didn’t know exactly what you were doing. Just act as if it went well and felt perfectly natural.[10]
  4. Let it go. You were dared to kiss someone and you did it. You can feel good about taking a new step and you can feel free to stop thinking about it.

Tips

  • Look at the dare as a fun experience rather than a stressful one.
  • If you feel like the kiss went really well, talk to the person later on about it. You may end finding someone you want to spend more time with.

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Sources and Citations