Make Everyone Smile

We have all met someone who can simply light up a room with their likeable, happy personality. These people seem naturally gifted at making other people smile. For some people, it can be harder to make others smile, whether because of an introverted personality or just not knowing where to begin. If you want to make everyone happy everywhere you go, there are lots of things you can try!

Steps

Performing Acts of Kindness

  1. Make eye contact. Smile and act friendly. When someone is talking to you, make eye contact to show that you are interested. Eye contact is a way of connecting with another human being on an intimate level, and is key to being well-liked by others.
    • This means putting away your phone and being present in the moment. Whether you are ordering a drink at the coffee shop, sitting through a boring family holiday get-together, or out with friends, be present with those around you.[1]
  2. Be genuine. Honesty and realness are key to getting people to trust and like you, which is a huge factor in making them respond to you with a joyful smile.[1]
    • When you do something for someone else, it should come from a place of sincerity and empathy in your heart, rather than as a motivated way of trying to manipulate someone to like you. Developing empathy can help you to be more genuine in your daily life.
  3. Offer help without being asked. Most people struggle to ask for help but often wish that someone would recognize their areas of need and step in with assistance. Whether its help juggling too many grocery bags or help with household chores after the arrival of a new baby, you can give assistance where it is needed even without being asked.
    • Get to know people and anticipate their needs. If you have a friend who is struggling with an illness, offer to cook for his or her family or come by and do the laundry. If an acquaintance posts on Facebook about an upcoming medical procedure, ask if you can bring them a meal afterwards.
    • Watch strangers and step in when you see someone struggling. You might see a mom with her hands full trying to bag her groceries while her toddler throws a fit; offer to bag them for her. If you notice an elderly person who drops his mail, help pick it up.
  4. Meet your neighbors. Only about 4 in 10 American adults know most or all of their neighbors![2] You can head next door with a small gift for the holidays, or simply to introduce yourself at any time. Exchange phone numbers, and let them know that you want to be a good neighbor to them. You never know when you might need them!
    • In residential neighborhoods with elderly residents, befriending your neighbor can be the difference between loneliness and friendship for them. Other neighbors like stay-at-home parents might feel isolated and be grateful for the human contact.
  5. Grow something. Maintaining a garden is a great way to learn how to care for other living things. In fact, studies show that growing plants can increase your capacity for empathy and tenderness,[3] making you a more likeable friend.
    • Use your skill to grow fruits or vegetables to share with a local food bank or a neighbor. You can also grow flats of flowers to give to someone who might be down. Depending on where you live, tomatoes, green beans, and marigolds are hearty and easy to grow.
  6. Give a compliment. Everyone feels insecure sometimes, and a sincere compliment is a great gift you can give someone that costs you nothing. Since everyone's favorite topic is themselves, offering a compliment is a great way to endear you to someone and make them smile.[4]
    • Offer a compliment about something that is in the person's control, such as how they performed during a sporting event or how well they did on a test. Avoid compliments that focus on things that are out of someone's control, like appearance or body features.
    • Check out this helpful wikiHow guide for great advice on how to offer a heartfelt compliment.

Being Happy Yourself

  1. Don't be insecure. Insecurity results when we focus on our negative attributes or past mistakes and forget about all the good we have to offer.[5] It can be difficult to overcome insecurities and gain confidence, but doing so can help you reach out to others in kindness and make them smile.
    • There are many ways to build self-confidence, but most of them start with paying attention to your positive qualities and not your negative qualities. Confidence gives you the ability to walk up to a stranger and ask if they need help, or to stand up for someone being bullied.
  2. Smile. Smiling has a host of benefits for the person smiling, and has also been shown to be socially contagious!
    • Smiling is a universal language; people in every culture smile to signal happiness or joy.[6] According to one study, when you smile at a stranger, there is a 50% chance they will smile back.[7]
    • Smiling even when you are sad can lower your own stress rate and help boost your mood, which will make you a pleasure to be around.[6]
  3. Change your outlook. If you tend to be pessimistic or if you commonly complain, whine, or compare yourself to others, you can take steps to improve your outlook on life. A positive outlook can reduce your stress level and improve your own level of happiness, which makes it more likely that you can help others to be happy.[8]
    • Practice positive self-talk. Self-talk is the stream of thoughts that runs through your head throughout the day, particularly the things you think about yourself, your abilities, your appearance, and what you assume others think about you. Monitor your self-talk, and follow this rule: don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to someone you love.[8]
    • Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness involves not worrying about the past or future but instead focusing on the experiences in the here-and-now. It is a form of meditation that can help you improve your outlook. Mindfulness can also help you learn to empathize with others, making you a great friend.[9]

Knowing When to Give Up

  1. Recognize that others' happiness is their choice. It is great that you want to make others smile; it shows that you have a generous heart and care about other people. But at the end of the day, you can't force anyone to smile or be happy. Every person has to choose whether they want to be happy or not.[10]
    • In order to be happy, experts say people must make a conscious effort. This can be hard for people who have been dealt a rough hand in life (such as those who struggle with poverty or illness), but anyone can choose to be happy. [10]
    • Outside influences (like your lovely self) can only do so much to help someone improve their happiness, unless they are also making an effort to be happy.
  2. Know that not everyone will like you. You could be the most likeable, generous, attractive, and intelligent person in the world and guess what? There would still be people who criticize you or dislike you. This reflects more on them and their negative attitudes than it does on you.
    • There are many reasons why it may be impossible to win someone over. Perhaps you remind them of someone from their past who hurt them. Or maybe they struggle with jealousy or a lack of self-confidence and seeing how happy you are only makes them more miserable. Some people even have abusive personalities and can't stand to see other people happy.[11]
  3. Accept that you've done your best. So you've tried to make someone smile by doing random acts of kindness, being polite, smiling at them, offering compliments, and just generally being pleasant to be around… and they are still grumpy.
    • If you’ve done everything you can do to make someone smile, at the end of the day you should be proud. You went out of your way for someone else. You have done your best, and that's all you can do. Keep being your pleasant self, but know that you can't fix everyone else's problems for them.

Tips

  • Make eye contact!
  • Be kind to others.
  • Stand up tall: it shows confidence, even if you don't feel it.
  • Have a sense of humor.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 http://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2015/01/27/13-habits-of-exceptionally-likeable-people/
  2. ↑ http://www.pewresearch.org/daily-number/do-you-know-your-neighbors/
  3. ↑ http://ellisonchair.tamu.edu/health-and-well-being-benefits-of-plants/
  4. ↑ https://www.happier.com/blog/25-ways-to-make-someones-day
  5. ↑ http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2013/03/stop-feeling-insecure/
  6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1871687,00.html
  7. ↑ http://psp.sagepub.com/content/17/5/586
  8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
  9. ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25329321
  10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/choosing-to-be-happy
  11. ↑ http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/warning_signs.html

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