Pretend to Be Rich
With the global economy in a slump, many people are finding themselves far from where they hoped to be financially. Here are some ways to make people think you're rich even if you're not.
Contents
Steps
- Get nice stuff (on a budget). No amount of attitude in the world can convince someone you’re rich if you don’t have any nice things. Start by scouring police and government auctions for vehicles, jewelry, and equipment at incredible deals. (Start locally rather than online to cut down on vendor fees – not to mention competition.) Scour outlet clothing stores for name-brand, quality items at slashed prices. Hunt yard and garage sales for the occasional antique, painting, or other quality item that someone so carelessly wants to part with. Go to a discount air-travel website and set up an email alert for a good deal to a vacation destination. Having a few conspicuous items of material wealth will go a long way in convincing people that you’re well-off.
- Act rich. There is an (admittedly stereotypical) distinction between “old” wealth and “new” wealth which states that old wealth tends to be more cultured and comfortable with its place in society while new wealth tends to flaunt its success. If you want to come across like old wealth, have class, act very humble about your (fake) money, and don't brag about anything you own. While you’re at it, always have good manners, don't interrupt people, don't chew with your mouth open, and remember to say please and thank you. If you want to come across like new wealth, feel free to dress up and show off a bit. Invest some (but not too much) energy into becoming cultured or seeming educated, but remember that you’re quite busy having a good time.
- Look rich. Rich people have money to blow, so usually they look flawless. Make sure you have great hair (which can be achieved by getting good shampoo, conditioner, and cut) and always keep it neat. You don't have to go to an amazing salon, and when people ask where you went say something like, "I forgot the name, but I think they did a wonderful job, do you?" Choose stylish clothes made of nice fabrics (which, incidentally, will last you a long time). You should also get some nice technology. A Fitbit or iPhone is really nice for this. For more advice, see How to Look Rich.
- Talk rich. Familiarize yourself with a few upper-class concerns like the basics of stock trading, the locations of foreign countries and exotic beach getaways, and a few fancy food items. No, this doesn’t mean you should make caviar one of your key talking points or ask everyone if they’ve had the pleasure of going to Malta, but if you’re caught pronouncing foie gras incorrectly, it will raise a few eyebrows.
- Be seen spending a little extra. People will be confused if all your nice things are obtained in secret auctions and out-of-town trips to the outlet mall. Look for a few ways to visibly spend a little extra while doing something useful for yourself, such as buying organic fruits and vegetables (and enjoying the health and environmental benefits).
- Don’t go overboard. Even if every purchase is at a discount, spending yourself into oblivion by getting a police-auction car you can’t maintain or wearing defective designer clothes you can’t afford to dry-clean is a waste of time and takes you that much farther from your goal. Don’t worry about making every purchase a spendy one; if somebody ever catches you going to a sale or looking through the discount bin, just ask, “Well how do you think people get rich?”
Tips
- Don’t feel compelled to do all of these things. Plenty of affluent people walk amongst us quite inconspicuously without looking like models in a perfume ad.
Warnings
- Don't lie. If your friends ask you an outright question like, "Are you rich?" don't lie or avoid the question. If they're really your friends, it shouldn't matter if you're rich or not. On top of that, they will most likely be offended, especially if they themselves aren’t rich and interpret your charade as a way of looking down on them.
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