Prevent Your Teen from Dropping out of School

Whether your teen is being bullied at school or is struggling with classes, dropping out of school should never be an option. Statistically speaking, high school drop outs earn approximately $10,386 less than those who have their diploma. Teens who stop going to school before finishing their diplomas are also 30.8% more likely to live in poverty and 63% more likely to be incarcerated in their lifetimes. Keep your teen in school by figuring out the source of his or her problems, getting involved with his educational experience, and by helping your teen develop goals for the future.

Steps

Determining the Issue

1. Talk to your teen about why he or she wants to drop out. Taking the time to listen without judgement for the root cause of this choice is important. You can’t work to fix the problem unless you know what you are dealing with.
   • The most common reason for a student to drop out is either they have missed too many days already in the school year or they feel hopeless because they are beyond the point of fixing a failing grade. Both of these situations can be addressed, but the student may not understand this.
   • Other reasons students consider dropping out may include being bullied, a teen pregnancy, depression problems with drugs/alcohol or social problems at school. When you probe to get information about why he or she is considering dropping out, you have to be prepared for whatever you find out.
2. Maintain your composure. Instead of getting angry or yelling, offer your support. Ask how you can help.
   • Being supportive does not mean enabling their behavior. If dropping out seems like a good idea because they simply do not like the responsibility, your student needs to know that if he/she drops out you will expect rent and financial contributions to the household via a job.
   • Some students consider dropping out simply to enjoy their “freedom” by just staying home. This should not be an option; if they drop out they get a job like other adults do. Dropping out of school is an adult choice.
3. Work together to problem-solve any issue. Having a trusted adult they can talk to in order to solve the problem will go a long way to give them hope and a view towards the future.
   • Community resources are available for teen parents, teenagers needing drug/alcohol treatment, or mental health counseling. If their issue is tied to a physical or psychological problem making an appointment for a checkup with their doctor is the first step in getting help.
   • Schools often have resource centers as well, so checking in with a guidance counselor with your student’s permission can also help. The school will also be able to tell you about alternative learning options if that would help.
   • For cases where the problem is actually with something or someone at school, a visit to the school is a good first step. You may be able to solve a social problem like bullying by contacting the principal. A problem with a teacher can be solved with a schedule change, while tutoring can help with a failing grade.
   • In an extreme case you may even consider home schooling options, the opportunity to start college classes early or to finish school on-line. Exploring all the academic option will help you to find the best fit to finish school for your student.
4. Develop a relationship with your teen that transcends school. Children who have good relationships with their parents come to them with problems and listen to their advice.
   • Children with parents who are actively involved in school and show that they value education are less likely to drop out. Model life-long learning and encourage personal growth beyond the basics at school.
   • Encourage your student to explore hobbies or volunteer with groups that interest them to explore possible careers. Doing this activity together is a great way to find a common interest and also get your student thinking about the future. A future goal of college makes dropping out less of an option.
   • Setting aside time to do non-school activities together builds the connection and makes new memories. A student who feels they have talents beyond school may be less likely to be overwhelmed by an occasional failing grade and not look towards dropping out as the only fix.
5. Remember to listen to what your teen is saying. Sometimes, parents are so busy telling kids what to do that they miss small messages that represent a cry for help. Pay attention to your kids and when they talk, engage and listen.
   • While hearing your child wants to drop out may seem like it came out of nowhere, it usually is the end of a long process. There are often signs and being involved in all stages of their education can give you a good indication if things have changed.

Getting Involved

1. Reach out to your teen’s school. Schedule a meeting with teachers and school administrators. Determine if any accommodations need to be made to foster your child’s learning experience.
   • While problems at home can be a part of the choice to drop out, more times than not there is a problem at school that is the driving cause of this choice. Getting the school involved can get you help.
2. Become a part of the PTA. This membership puts you at the school often and the staff will start to recognize you.
   • In the case of a problem at school, you being there on a regular basis puts you closer to solving the problem. If your student needs your support you are readily available.
   • Take special care to communicate with school staff in the most efficient way but also respect your student’s privacy. Including him or her in the conversation will help.
3. Develop a relationship with the parents of your teen’s friends. Other parents may help you spot any problems behaviors that require intervention. Also, staying in the loop keeps you informed on what your teen’s friends are involved in, such as drugs, sex, or other risky activities.
   • Some students may try to hide problems by lying about where they are or who they are with. Being involved with the other parents can make this nearly impossible.
4. Have your teen see a professional, if needed. A psychiatrist can offer therapy and prescribe medications for conditions like ADHD or bipolar disorder which may interfere with school functioning. A mental health counselor can help your child sort out issues such as social anxiety or depression.
   • Having your child evaluated for any psychological conditions could problem-solve his or her desire to drop out and offer needed intervention.

Investing in Your Teen’s Future

1. Encourage your child to get involved in extracurriculars. Sometimes, sports or other activities can help a teen feel involved at school and encourage good grades to stay on the team.
   • Feeling successful in an area beyond schoolwork can deliver a stimulus for your teen to want to do well in school and to recognize how important staying in school is to his or her future. What’s more, participating in clubs, organizations, and sports will likely expose your teen to other good students who have solid goals for the future. Their motivation just might rub off.
2. Chat with your teen regularly about what’s going on at school. Openly talk about what happened during the school day, how classes are going, and how he or she is performing in sports or organizations. When your teen feels like you are interested in the small things, he or she is more likely to come to you with the bigger things in the future. Staying in regular contact about school also sets you up to know about problems much sooner.
   • Start a dialogue with your child(ren) about school by making it a daily routine for the whole family. Perhaps at dinnertime everyone can go around and tell their “peaks” and “pits” to the group—that is, something great that happened that day and also something not-so-great.
3. Help your teen develop and work toward future goals. Doing so can help him or her stay committed to attending school.
   • Teens contemplating dropping out or worse often feel like they have no future. Installing a look towards the future and a focus on goals lets them know that even a failing grade or extra time in school is a short term problem.
4. Remind your child that a high school diploma is integral in the job market. Taking the time to share a realistic view of the job market without a diploma can go a long way for a teen stuck in a dream world.
   • Including real world data can help with this case. You can take your child on a field-trip to the unemployment office in your area and talk with the staff about the limited options your teen may have if he does not finish high school. You might also watch a documentary or look up some statistics from a website, such as Center for Public Education.
5. Consider alternative settings for school. The school environment could be contributing to your teen’s trouble. If other methods fail, you may have to look into enrolling your teen in a charter school, alternative school, magnet school, career academy, general educational development (GED) program or some other setting that is more conducive to his or her success.
   • Other options for completing the diploma to consider: home schooling, online classes and programs that combine high school and college classes for highly capable students who may be bored with the standard classroom.

Tips

• Find good sources of relaxation for your teen. While it's important for him/her to do well in school, it's also important for you to provide a little relaxation time for your teen so s/he doesn't get overwhelmed.
• If a young person needs to drop out because of a severe issue like teen pregnancy or a serious medical condition they should be encouraged to get a GED. Teens can still go to college and get a career with a GED certificate, if regular high school will not work.
• If your teen is extremely unhappy, consider transferring them to a new school or providing alternate schooling options. As a parent, you can effectively counter your teen dropping out by providing alternative schooling, community collaboration or career education.

Warnings

• Never give up on a child who may be on the edge of dropping out. In many cases, support and understanding is what the child needs to stay in school.

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Sources and Citations

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