Relate to Children
Your relationship with a child will go more smoothly if you show a little kindness.
Contents
Steps
- Be nice to a child. Step down a little and physically go to his or her level. Get on their level so you can look them in their eyes. It's like you to enter to their little worlds, their space by kneeling, placing them on your laps, etc.
- Be giving and kind. Don't scold or hit.
- Listen. Really pay attention to what they have to say. Some of it will be silly. Some of it will be repetitive or less than sensible. Then, go with it. Joke and be silly, explain, answer their questions as best you can, or ask them some questions of your own to get them thinking.
- Ask them what are they thinking about? Prepare yourself because you may be surprised! If they can not put their thinking in words, you may think of simple emotions or thoughts.
- Let them get away with a few things, as long as it won't cause too much trouble. This will make them think you're cool. Let them stay up late, or invite all kinds of friends over. Let them get into the chocolate, watch the big kid movies or a TV show that is on a little late.
- Make time for kids. Get off your computer, and play some childrens' games like "Mother May I", "Red Light, Green Light", or board games.
- Read to them, or let them read to you. A good story is a great thing to share.
- Play pretend games like "house", or "school".
- Get outside and keep kids active. When kids are getting some exercise and fresh air, their behavior is better than if they are playing video games all the time. The best way to convince them to get outside is to announce "in half and hour we're all going outside, so you have a half hour to play video games" then in 10 minutes time, remind them again. Then, when they have to get off there will be less likelihood of all the screaming and "I hate yous".
- Encourage the children. Cheer them on with phrases such as "good job". Give high-fives. This will get them excited and will make them feel appreciated.
- Take children places. Playgrounds, libraries, amusement parks, skating rinks, lakes, movies, museums, anywhere where they can explore, learn, and/or have fun.
- Go crazy! Dance, laugh, sing, shout, tell jokes, tell secrets, be a kid yourself!
Tips
- On rainy days, have indoor activities planned like board games, or make a tent inside, dance, dress up, or get soaked in the rain.
- On sunny days go outside, wander around and play tag, go swimming, rake leaves, go sledding, or skating, be fun!
- Be supportive of the child. When things go wrong, don't freak out. Children get upset when someone is angry at them. Stay calm, even though they lost your ring, or broke your favorite whatever. Use a firm voice; never scold. Help them when things go wrong. Hug them and hold them and tell them you love them.
- Surprise them once in a while with a treat, not necessarily candy but maybe a new pet, or their favorite dinner, or take them to their favorite place but don't tell them until they see for themselves. Write notes in their lunch box, buy them a toy and give it to them when they get home.
- Kids will want to take advantage of your size and strength advantage and will want to be picked up, carried, and sometimes swung around, often without regard to safety. Do so, but don't let them be dependent upon rides (especially toddlers who are supposed to be learning how to walk) and ensure that they know that no means no, regardless of why (e.g. you're tired). In fact, a good lesson for a girl who likes to be picked up all the time is that "no means no regardless of why" because she'll need to be on the other end of that statement in high school, when it comes to dating.
- Above all else, ensure that at the end of the day, your presence has inspired more responsibility, higher self-esteem, or extended learning in the child or children, else you haven't done them much good. This can be fun, and self-esteem is the easiest of the three to raise, but the others are important as well.
- Encourage kids to do things on their own; while they may be inclined to let an adult do it for them, have them do it, and offer suggestions and words of encouragement, and then congratulate them when they've done it. This works for learning (e.g. reading, writing), or chores alike.
Warnings
- Small children heat up quickly when angry and take a few minutes before they like you again.
- Be prepared to talk about "what is on your mind" because if you ignore what they just said, you are the one they can't communicate with.
- This only works on really little kids!
