Speak Well and Confidently

Good communication is the key to success, whether you're speaking in front of a large audience or trying to get a point across to a new friend. If you want to know how to speak well and confidently, you've got to believe in yourself, speak slowly and carefully, and have strong convictions about what you're saying. If you want to know how to sound intelligent and thoughtful when you speak, then see Step 1 to get started.

Steps

Speaking with Confidence

  1. State your opinions with conviction. Before you speak, you have to make sure you really believe in what you say, whether you're saying that Kanye's new album is amazing or that the growing inequality gap in the United States should be the government's #1 concern. You don't have to sound arrogant to get your point across and to sound like you really believe in what you're saying instead of turning to other people for validation or approval.
    • It's all in how you say it. If you start a sentence by saying, "I think that…" Or, "But maybe…" then nothing you say afterwards will sound as forceful as it would have if you just made the statement.
  2. Make eye contact. For one thing, it is polite for others. Also, eye contact will help others to listen to your thinking carefully. Find a few friendly faces to focus on so your confidence goes up while you're speaking and that you're communicating your message even more clearly. If you look down at the floor, you won't look confident, and if you're looking around while you talk, people may think that you're distracted or looking for something better to do.
    • Look people in the eyes when you talk to them - you can look away for a moment or two to get your footing, but in general, stay focused on the eyes of the people you're talking to.
    • If you see someone looking confused or concerned when you're speaking, you may even think about whether or not you're being clear enough. However, you shouldn't let one confused person get you off track.
    • If you're talking to a larger group where it's difficult to really make eye contact, focus on looking at just a few people in the audience.
  3. Praise yourself every day. This will promote your own confidence, which is important when you speak. With more confidence, people will take your thinking more seriously. You don't have to think you're perfect to truly praise yourself and let yourself feel like the amazing person that you are. Remind yourself of all of the great things you've accomplished and worked so hard for. Look in the mirror and say at least three things about yourself, or make a list of all of the great things that make you who you are.
    • If you can't think of anything you'd want to praise yourself for, then you'll need to work on boosting your confidence. Build your self-esteem by focusing on something you're good at, addressing your flaws, and spending time with the people who really care about you and make you feel good about yourself.
  4. Use the shortcut method for better speaking. Chances are that you'll sometimes have to speak in public as part of your role. While this can seem intimidating, the benefits of being able to speak well outweigh any perceived fears. To become a better speaker, remember the following strategies (deliberately kept short for ease of memory):
    • Plan appropriately.
    • Practice.
    • Engage with your audience.
    • Pay attention to body language.
    • Think and speak positively.
    • Cope with your nerves.
    • Watch recordings of your speeches. This will help you to improve each time.
  5. Know the room. Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone and any visual aids. Knowing what you're up against and having a sense of where you'll stand, how the crowd will look, and what it will feel like to move around as you speak can definitely ease your nerves. It's far better to know what you're facing than to have a big surprise -- and a blow to your confidence -- on the day of the big event.
    • If you really want to know the room, you can also show up on a day before your actual speaking engagement to get a sense of what it's like.
  6. Visualize success. Visualize yourself giving your speech. Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear and confident. Visualize the audience clapping – it will boost your confidence. Close your eyes and imagine the most confident and well-spoken version of yourself up in the audience, dazzling them with his words. Or if you're nervous about speaking in a smaller social setting, picture yourself wowing a small group of friends with your words. Picturing the scenario you want to enact can go a long way in making you succeed.
    • This way, when it's time for your big moment, remember what you visualized -- how can you get there?
  7. Know your audience. Knowing who you're talking to can go a long way in helping you speak with confidence. If you're addressing a large audience, it's important to know where they come from, how old they are, and what their general knowledge is about your subject. This can help you prepare your words accordingly. If you're talking to a handful of people, knowing as much about them as you can -- their political beliefs, their senses of humor -- can help you say the right thing (and to avoid saying the wrong one).
    • One of the reasons people get nervous when speaking is because they don't like the unknown; that's why you have to gather as much information as possible.
  8. Have confident body language. Body language can go a long way in making you appear and feel confident. If you want to have confident body language, here's what you should do:
    • Have great posture
    • Avoid slouching
    • Don't fidget with your hands
    • Avoid pacing around too much
    • Look ahead of you instead of down at the floor
    • Keep your face and body relaxed
  9. Know your material. Pick a topic you are interested in. Know more about it than you include in your speech or conversation. If you know a lot about your subject, you will feel a lot more confident when you have to speak about it. If you only prepared what you were going to say the night before and are terrified of getting questions you won't know how to answer, then yeah, your confidence will not be at an all-time high. Knowing 5 times more about your subject than you're going to say will make you feel prepared for the big day.
    • If you will leave some time for questions after your speech, you can practice giving it to a friend in advance; have the friend ask some tough questions to help yourself prepare for what may come.

Speaking Well

  1. Speak loudly enough for everyone to hear. While you don't want to shout, you should speak loudly enough so that people don't have to ask you to repeat yourself. Speaking quietly or softly will make people think you are shy and that you don't have confidence in what you're saying -- that you don't really want to be heard anyway.
    • If you speak in a low voice, not only will others not be able to hear what you say, but you will also portray a submissive demeanor, which suggests the opposite of a confident one.
    • On the other hand, you don't want to speak so loudly that you're talking over people just to be heard. Your words alone should get people's attention.
  2. Expand your vocabulary. Read as much as you can, from online journals such as Slate or Salon.com to serious literature like Anna Karenina. The more you read, the more you'll know and the more expansive your vocabulary will be. You'll be learning new words and understanding new phrases without even knowing it, and soon, you'll be using the words you read while you're speaking. Having a wide vocabulary is a must if you really want to speak well.
    • This doesn't mean that you have to throw fifty $100 words into your speeches or everyday conversations every time. Just a few key "fancy" words can make you sound more intelligent, but not like you're trying too hard.
    • Keep a vocabulary journal. Write down all of the new words you've encountered while reading and define them.
  3. Avoid excessive slang. If you want to be well-spoken, then you can't go around using slang or too much casual phrasing. Of course, if your audience is young and hip, you don't want to sound too formal or stilted, but you should avoid saying things like, "You guys," or "Hella" or "Nailed it!" or whatever phrases are going around in your culture these days.
    • Of course, if you're just speaking with friends, then slang is fine, but if you're addressing a more mature audience and want to speak well, then you should avoid it.
  4. Don't be afraid to pause. Some people view pausing as a sign of weakness, but this is absolutely not the case. It's okay to pause to gather your thoughts and to think about what you're going to say next. What's far worse is speaking too fast and sounding like you're rambling, being frantic, or even saying something that you will immediately regret. Part of slowing down and speaking thoughtfully means that pauses in your speech will sound more natural.
    • If you use verbal pauses (such as "um" or "uh") while you speak, don't be too worried about it. It's just a natural way of getting our minds into gear and even President Obama uses them quite frequently. If you think you use them too much, you can try to tone it down, but don't think that you have to avoid them completely.
  5. Use gestures only when necessary. Gesturing while you speak is a great way to get your points across and to emphasize your words. But don't use your hands or gestures too much when you speak or you will come off as a bit frantic, like you're using your gestures to compensate because your words aren't enough. Instead, keeping your hands at your sides and using them in just a few key moments when you're talking will help you get your point across.
  6. Be more concise. Another part of speaking well means knowing what not to say. You may think that you have to give ten examples to prove some point, but in reality, you may only need just one or two, and your ideas will come off more strongly because you chose the best points instead of throwing the entire kitchen sink at the audience you're addressing. If you're giving a speech, then every word has to count; if you're just talking to some friends, it's still best to avoid rambling.
    • If you're giving a speech, then write it down and say it aloud. Reading your own words can help you see where you're being repetitive, and which things you'd like to cut.
  7. Repeat your main points. You may think that stating your main points once is enough and that your audience will get what's most important about what you have to say. Well, that's where you're wrong. If you have a few main points that you really want to get across, whether you're addressing a crowd or trying to make a point during an argument with a friend, stating your main points again, perhaps at the end of your conversation or speech, will help you define your message and make your point even more clearly.
    • Think about writing an essay. You have to repeat your main points at the end of every paragraph and in your conclusion, don't you? Well, speaking is not so different.
  8. Use concrete examples to grab your audience. Concrete examples are the bread and butter of any speech or conversation. Whether you want to convince your audience to use renewable energy or convince your best friend to dump her loser boyfriend, you'll need to present a few cold, hard facts to get people's attention. Pick the statistics, anecdotes, or stories that will most effectively get your point across. Remember, it's not about throwing a million statistics at your audience -- it's about using a few key points that they will actually remember.
    • Tell a story or two. If you're giving a speech, a story at the beginning or the end can help introduce your points in a more human way.

Taking it to the Next Level

  1. Develop a relaxing routine. Begin by addressing the audience. It buys you time and calms your nerves. Pause, smile and count to three before saying anything. ("One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand. Pause. Begin.) Transform nervous energy into enthusiasm. It's all about finding whatever works for you. Maybe drinking a cup of peppermint tea before you speak does the trick. Maybe drinking water every five minutes will do it for you. Once you find what works for you, stick to it.
    • You can also develop a routine for talking to friends. Find something that calms you down when you're nervous about speaking, whether it's grabbing a Koosh ball in your coat pocket or smiling a bit more.
  2. Practice, practice, practice. Rehearse out loud with all equipment you plan on using. Revise as necessary. Work to control filler words; practice, pause and breathe. Practice with a timer and allow time for the unexpected. The more you practice, the more natural and well-spoken you will sound when it's time to speak. And the better you feel like you know what to say, the more confidence you'll have when it counts.
  3. Don't apologize. If you're nervous or have accidentally misspoken, don't draw people's attention to it by apologizing for it. Just get on with what you have to say and people will forget all about what you said. Saying, "Sorry guys, I'm just so nervous," or "Oops, that was awkward," will only make things more awkward and uncomfortable. Everyone makes mistakes and there's no need to acknowledge yours unless you're really, really good at poking fun at yourself.
  4. Concentrate on the message – not the medium. Focus your attention away from your own anxieties and concentrate on your message and your audience. The most important thing is to get your point across, not to look like Steve Jobs when you do it. If you focus less on yourself, you will feel less self-conscious and more like a messenger, and that will take off a lot of the pressure. Before you speak, remind yourself about how important the message that you have to convey is, and why conveying it matters to you. This will make you stop worrying about whether you're talking too fast or sweating too much.
  5. Gain experience. Mainly, your speech should represent you — as an authority and as a person. Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. A Toastmasters club can provide the experience you need in a safe and friendly environment. Just getting into the habit of giving speeches or speaking publicly will also help you succeed. Even if you just want to speak confidently in front of friends or strangers, the more you do it, the better you'll be at it. It's like any other skill.
  6. Realize that people want you to succeed. Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative and entertaining. They’re rooting for you. Think positively about what you have to do before you begin and know that no one wants you to trip, stumble over your words, or forget what you were going to say. Everyone wants the best for you, and you should want that too. Speaking can be a scary thing, whether you're talking to a football stadium of people or just your class, and everyone wants you to do your best.

Tips

  • Practice really does make perfect. If you're giving a speech, then rehearsing it in advance will help you sound clear and confident on the big day.
  • Pauses may seem as though you are forgetful or you don't know what to say while you are speaking, but in reality, they can be used to grab the audience's attention. If people are losing interest in your speech, or you need to emphasize something, just take a pause!
  • If you are a shy person or don't find making eye contact very comfortable don't look people directly in the eye it might throw you off! Instead look just over people's heads but keep your eyes moving so it doesn't look like you are focused on something else because it will lose peoples attention.
  • If you are in a room of strangers, think about people you love and imagine them cheering you on.
  • If you're talking to a group of people and your afraid to make eye contact, just look at the top of their heads! It will look like your looking at them. But make sure they have nice hair!
  • It's important to dress appropriately. Always wear clothes that suit your figure. Don't be afraid to dress it up a little too.

Warnings

  • Remember that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Don't portray an exaggerated amount of confidence, or you will come off as arrogant and overconfident. There's nothing worse than coming across as believing that your ideas are better than the ideas of everyone else.
  • In addition to speaking your own ideas, do not forget to listen to the ideas of others too! Otherwise, others may find you to be self-centered, and you will lose the benefit of their valuable opinions.

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