Surprise Your Spouse

In any marriage, things can start to feel a bit routine after a while. It's easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day grind of work, chores, and raising kids. Making an effort to give your spouse a nice surprise now and then can help keep marriage fun and exciting. It can keep the romance in married life, making both you and your spouse happier and your marriage healthier.

Steps

Surprising Your Spouse with a Gift or Experience

  1. Write a note (or several). Leaving your spouse little love notes is a great way to surprise him or her. There are lots of different ways you can do this, which allows you to keep it varied if you do this more than once.
    • Leave lots of little love notes around the house, or in your spouse's car.[1] Cut them in the shape of hearts if you want to get creative.
    • Slip a flirtatious note into your spouse's purse or pants pocket for him or her to find during the day.[2]
    • Use some quotes from songs or poems that really sum up your feelings for your spouse. Or, better yet, try writing your own love poems![3]
    • Use text messages or email to send love notes throughout the day.
  2. Say "I love you" with music. Many couples have a song or collection of songs, often from early in their relationship, that has special significance. There are lots of ways you can use this to create a romantic surprise.
    • If you're musically talented, you can produce your own version of the song at home using your laptop and whatever instrument(s) you play. If not, there are instant recording studios (often found in shopping malls) that let you make a recording of your favorite song with prerecorded backing tracks.[3]
    • If you aren't a singer, you can also just surprise your spouse when he or she comes home by putting on your song and dancing with him or her in your living room!
  3. Surprise your spouse at work. If you know when your spouse's lunch break is, try to get a break at the same time and surprise him or her at work for a lunch date.[4]
    • You can bring your spouse something special or take him or her out for lunch.
  4. Plan a scavenger hunt. Create a romantic scavenger hunt based on your early dates or your many years of marriage. Create clues that lead to places or things related to your own romantic history.[5]
    • For example, if you went ice skating on your first date, leave a clue that will lead your spouse to the ice skating rink, where you are waiting for a skating session. Give him or her another clue that will lead to the restaurant you went to on your first anniversary for a romantic meal, and so on.
  5. Be playful. Doing something fun and playful can also make for a nice surprise. Spontaneous and flirtatious games can help liven up your marriage.[4]
    • Leave out a water gun for your spouse with a note warning that you're waiting in the backyard and he or she better be ready to get wet because you're armed, too.
    • On a snowy day, buy a cheap sled and tell your spouse to meet you at the park for some winter time shenanigans.
    • You can also try something more flirtatious, like suggesting a game of spin the bottle with just the two of you playing.
  6. Get something repaired. Sometimes, the best gift is something your spouse already owns. If your spouse has a prized possession that has seen better days, get it repaired for him or her.[2]
    • Perhaps your spouse has a favorite jacket that's coming apart at the seams or a favorite pair of shoes or boots that need new soles. Take them to a tailor or cobbler and get them repaired. This way, you are giving a gift that your spouse already loves!
  7. Pick a tried-and-true method of surprising your spouse. Sometimes an old-fashioned approach to romance is best. Here are some tried-and-true methods you can use to give your spouse a pleasant surprise.
    • Do all the chores. Another nice surprise is for your spouse to come home and find all the chores done. [1]
    • Have a surprise date night. Plan a special date night including some activity your spouse will really enjoy. You could, for example, buy tickets to a show or a surprise picnic dinner under the stars is another great surprise idea.[6]
    • You could, for example, suggest going out for a drink at your spouse's favorite pub, and arrive to find (surprise!) all his or her best friends are there.
    • Cook a favorite meal. Tell your spouse to stay out of the kitchen because you're handling dinner tonight. A special breakfast, especially delivered in bed, is another nice way to surprise your spouse.[4]
    • Buy flowers or a sweet treat. It may seem like a cliche, but some cliches exist for a reason. Flowers are a nice, romantic gesture. Surprising him or her with a box of favorite chocolates or a favorite cake is another nice gesture.[5]

Surprising Your Spouse with a Vacation

  1. Surprise your spouse with a big trip. Book a vacation to a far-away romantic locale when you know you and your spouse can both get some time off. Pack your bags, and when he or she comes home, whisk your spouse off to the airport for an intimate and exotic vacation.[7]
    • Go on a trip to Europe and ride a gondola through the canals of Venice, or head to a tropical island where the two of you can sit on the beach without the distractions of work or kids.
    • The trick here is making sure you and your spouse both have time off work without telling him or her why they'll need the time off. You may have to tell your spouse to take some vacation time for a surprise.
  2. Take a weekend trip. If a grand romantic trip is not in your budget, a weekend trip out of town can be a really nice surprise.[1] Pick somewhere beautiful and/or fun, and hop in the car.
    • Camp out under the stars, or find a nice bed and breakfast for a night or two. A romantic getaway doesn't have to break the bank.
  3. Go on a day trip. If you don't have the time or resources for a trip out of town, even a day trip alone together can be a nice, intimate surprise. Just get away from home for a little while so you can focus on each other without distraction.[1] Plus, you don't have to worry about figuring out overnight care for your kids or paying for a place to stay.
    • If your spouse likes the outdoors, you can go hiking in a nearby park, or visit the ocean or a nearby lake for the day.
    • Another option would be to visit a nearby town that has some fun attractions. Visit a museum or see a play in another city, or do a historical walking tour.
    • Make it extra surprising by not telling your spouse where you're going until you get there!

Surprising Your Spouse in the Bedroom

  1. Leave a trail. Leave a trail in your home of flower petals, a favorite candy, or some other small item that will lead him or her to you, waiting in the bedroom, when he or she gets home.[2]
  2. Wear something seductive. When you've been married a long time, it's easy to get comfortable wearing the same old granny panties or rumpled boxer shorts you bought five years ago. Go out and buy some new underwear or some exciting lingerie.[8]
    • You can keep your new, sexy undergarments a secret until you are ready to be intimate, or you can build anticipation by leaving them out sometime when you are going to be gone in the evening, with a note saying "wait up for me tonight," or something along those lines.[5]
  3. Break the routine. Many couples, after awhile, get into a rut when it comes to intimacy. There are certain days or times that it's most convenient to make love, and so that's when it happens. Surprise your spouse by initiating sex at an unusual time.
    • Do it in the middle of the day, or the middle of the night. Or, wake him or her up with your advances.[9]
    • You can also break the routine by doing it somewhere other than the bedroom. Send the kids over to a friend's house and make love on the couch or in the kitchen. Or, be daring and try it somewhere outside your home.[10]
  4. Do a striptease. Take some time when your spouse isn't around and practice. Work up a routine that looks great. Then, tell you spouse to sit back and enjoy the view.[11]
    • Pick a costume and some sexy music. If you don't feel confident about working up a routine yourself, look for tips or a tutorial online. Practice until you get it right, and then surprise your spouse.

Tips

  • If you're taking your sweetie somewhere, make sure you know you're not stepping on plans s/he has already made. You may want to listen extra carefully that week for plans.
  • If you and your spouse keep a monthly budget and you need some funds for a gift, try putting a line in the budget for "surprise" a month or two before you give the gift. That way, the money is accounted for, but your spouse still doesn't know what the surprise will be.[12]
  • Mix it up--try lots of different things to keep your marriage fresh and surprising.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 http://www.mywell-being.com/people/love/7-ways-surprise-your-spouse-each-week
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 http://www.happywivesclub.com/20-fun-ways-to-surprise-your-husband/
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 https://powertochange.com/sex-love/romancingyourwife/
  4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 http://www.doublethebatch.com/10-ways-surprise-spouse/
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 http://www.bombshellbling.com/32-fun-and-flirty-ways-spoil-sweetie/
  6. ↑ http://www.wellnesspursuits.com/10-ways-to-surprise-your-spouse/
  7. ↑ http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/advice/g624/surprise-husband/?slide=6
  8. ↑ http://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/features/relationships/2012/04/8-things-every-woman-should-try-in-bed
  9. ↑ http://www.brides.com/blogs/aisle-say/2014/12/sex-tips-for-women-married-couples.html
  10. ↑ http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/advice/g624/surprise-husband/?slide=4
  11. ↑ http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/173499/14_steps_to_doing_a/
  12. ↑ https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/how-to-surprise-your-spouse
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