Sustain Motivation when You're Struggling

After getting motivated initially, there comes the second part - staying motivated when you don’t feel the same excitement as you did in the beginning. Perhaps something new has come into your life and your old goal isn’t as much of a priority anymore. Perhaps you skipped a day or two and now you can’t get back into it. Perhaps you screwed up and got discouraged. If you can get yourself excited again, and keep going, you’ll get there eventually. But if you give up, you won’t. It’s your choice — accomplish the goal, or quit. Here’s how you can keep from quitting and get to your goal.

Steps

Planning for Success

1. Hold yourself back. When you start with a new exercise program, or any new goal really, usually you're raring to go, full of excitement, and with enthusiasm that knows no boundaries. You have no sense of self-limitation and think you can do anything. It’s not long, however, before you do learn that you have limitations, and your enthusiasm begins to wane. A great motivator is that when you have so much energy at the beginning of a program, and want to go all out — hold back. Don’t let yourself do everything you want to do. Only let yourself do 50-75 percent of what you want to do. And plan out a course of action where you slowly increase over time. For example:
   • If you want to go running, you might think you can run {{safesubst:#invoke:convert|convert}} at first. But instead of letting yourself do that, start by only running a mile. When you're doing that mile, tell yourself that you can do more! But don’t let yourself. After that workout, you’ll be looking forward to the next workout, when you’ll let yourself do {{safesubst:#invoke:convert|convert}}. Keep that energy reined in, harness it, so that you can ride it even further.
2. Go for mini-goals. Sometimes large or longer-term goals can be overwhelming. After a couple weeks, we may lose motivation, because we still have several months or a year or more left to accomplish the goal. It’s hard to maintain motivation for a single goal for such a long time. Solution: break it down into smaller goals along the way.
   • For example, if you are having a hard time sticking to your goal of “exercising more,” split it up into concrete, achievable mini-goals to boost your momentum. “Go for a 15-minute walk three times a week” and “Run with a friend twice a week in the mornings” are more specific and more doable than a bigger, vaguer goal.
3. Just start. There are some days when you don’t feel like heading out the door for a run, or figuring out your budget, or whatever it is you’re supposed to do that day for your goal. Well, instead of thinking about how hard it is, and how long it will take, tell yourself that you just have to start. Don’t wait until you “feel” like doing whatever it is you need to do.
   • For example, just put on your running shoes and close the door behind you. After that, it all flows naturally. It’s when you’re sitting in your house, thinking about running and feeling tired, that it seems hard. Once you start, it is never as hard as you thought it would be. This tip works well every time.
   • You can also try an “if-then” approach to get yourself going. For example, you could say “If I feel the urge to sit down and watch TV, I’ll go for a 10-minute run first.”
4. Stay accountable. If you've committed yourself publicly, through an online forum (try wikiHow's Chat Forum!), on a blog, in email, or in person, stay accountable to that group of people. Commit to report back to them daily, or something like that, and stick to it! That accountability will help you to want to do well, because you don’t want to report that you’ve failed.
   • Consider even drastic measures of accountability. Give someone a sum of money and they can only give it back little by little every time you hit the gym, or for every pound lost, or every mile run. You can even draw up a contract!
5. Find like-minded friends. Staying motivated on your own is tough. But if you find someone with similar goals (running, dieting, finances, etc.), see if they’d like to partner with you. Or partner with your spouse, sibling or best friend on whatever goals they’re trying to achieve. You don’t have to be going after the same goals — as long as you are both pushing and encouraging each other to succeed. Other good options are groups in your area (be part of a running club, for example) or online forums where you can find people to talk to about your goals.
   • It’s hard to accomplish something alone. Whether it's quitting smoking, running a marathon or writing a thesis, it is important to find your support network, either in the real world or online, or both.
6. Chart your progress. This can be as simple as marking an X on your calendar, or creating a simple spreadsheet, or logging your goal using online software. But it can be vastly rewarding to look back on your progress and to see how far you’ve come, and it can help you to keep going — you don’t want to have too many days without an X! Now, you will have some bad marks on your chart. That’s OK. Don’t let a few bad marks stop you from continuing. Strive instead to get the good marks next time.
   • Studies show that if you document your progress, you’ll begin to feel more competent. People who feel competent have better motivation.
7. Reward yourself often. For every little step along the way, celebrate your success, and give yourself a reward. It helps to write down appropriate rewards for each step, so that you can look forward to those rewards. By appropriate, this means 1) it’s proportionate to the size of the goal (don’t reward going on a 1-mile run with a luxury cruise in the Bahamas); and 2) it doesn’t ruin your goal — if you are trying to lose weight, don’t reward a day of healthy eating with a dessert binge. It’s self-defeating.
8. Overcome procrastination. We all have days where it’s easiest to say “I’ll do it tomorrow!” You may see procrastination as laziness, and sometimes it is. However, a lot of times it’s about having such an impossible standard for yourself that you know you can’t attain it -- and therefore you don’t want to try. Instead, try some of these procrastination-banishing tactics:
   • Look at the small stuff. If you’re struggling to finish a big term paper, don’t think about it as a “big term paper.” Break it into smaller chunks, like “research,” “writing the intro,” “drafting the body paragraphs,” etc. It’s a lot less scary to tackle one of those than it is “big term paper.”
   • Remind yourself that you can only do your best. If your goal is “get all A’s” you may end up so intimidated by your goal that you never start working. Instead, set your goal to be “Do my best on all my assignments.”
   • Forgive yourself. Studies suggest that people who beat themselves up over procrastination spend a lot of time feeling guilty, and not a lot of time actually working. Tell yourself, “I put this off yesterday and now I have more work to do, but I can get through this.” Then dive in.
9. Get a coach or take a class. These will motivate you to at least show up, and to take action. It can be applied to any goal. This might be one of the more expensive ways of motivating yourself, but it works. And if you do some research, you might find some cheap classes in your area, or you might know a friend who will provide coaching or counselling for free.

Thinking Positively

1. Squash negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. This is one of the most important motivation skills, and it is important to practice it daily. It’s important to start monitoring your thoughts, and to recognize negative self-talk. Just spend a few days becoming aware of every negative thought. Then, after a few days, try squashing those negative thoughts like a bug, and then replacing them with a corresponding positive thought. Squash, “This is too hard!” and replace it with, “I can do this!” It sounds corny, but it works. Really.
   • Use affirmations. Try telling yourself something like “I’m not feeling super-athletic today, but I’m strong! I can finish this workout.”
2. Think about the benefits. Thinking about how hard something is is a big problem for most people. Waking early sounds so hard! Just thinking about it makes you tired. But instead of thinking about how hard something is, think about what you will get out of it.
   • Try making a list of all the reasons why you want to accomplish your goal, and what you’ll get out of it. For example, instead of thinking about how hard it is to wake early, focus on how good you’ll feel when you’re done, and how your day will be so much better with the extra time you have. The benefits of something will help energize you.
3. Get excited again! Think about why you lost your excitement, then think about why you were excited in the first place. Can you get that back? What made you want to do the goal? What made you passionate about it? Try to build that up again, refocus yourself, get energized.
   • Try reading some inspirational stories. Inspiration can come from others who have achieved what you want to achieve, or who are currently doing it. Read other blogs, books, magazines. Google your goal, and read success stories. You will soon find yourself feeling more excited than ever.
   • Find an inspirational setting. Some people do their best work sitting in a coffee shop, others holed up away from the world. Find whatever makes you feel energized and make an effort to incorporate it into your routine.
4. Build on your successes. Every little step along the way is a success — celebrate the fact that you even started! And then do it for two days! Celebrate every little milestone. Take that successful feeling and build on it, with another baby step. Add 2-3 minutes to your exercise routine, for example. With each step (and each step should last about a week), you will feel even more successful. Make each step really, really small, and you won’t fail. After a couple of months, your tiny steps will add up to a lot of progress and a lot of success.
5. Get through the low points. Motivation is not a constant thing that is always there for you. It comes and goes, and comes and goes again, like the tide. But realize that while it may go away, it doesn’t do so permanently. It will come back. Just stick it out and wait for that motivation to come back. In the meantime, read about your goal, ask for help, and do some of the other things listed here until your motivation comes back.
   • One way you can do this is to avoid thinking about your setbacks as “failures.” This makes your temporary loss of motivation seem much bigger and more permanent, which drains your motivation to try again. Instead, tell yourself, “Today I had a bummer day and didn’t feel like hitting my goal. It’s okay to have a day like that now and then. Tomorrow I can start fresh. Today’s setback doesn’t have to haunt me tomorrow.”
6. Use visualization. Visualize your successful outcome in great detail. Close your eyes, and think about exactly how your successful outcome will look, will feel, will smell and taste and sound like. Where are you when you become successful? How do you look? What are you wearing? Form as clear a mental picture as possible. Now here’s the next key: do it every day. For at least a few minutes each day. This is the only way to keep that motivation going over a long period of time.
   • Visualization by itself isn’t enough to keep you motivated. You also have to put in the work. However, studies show that people who combine visualization with real work are more likely to succeed than people who only do one or the other.
7. Make contingency plans. Make a plan for when those urges to quit hit you. Write down your plan, because once those urges hit, you will not feel like coming up with a plan.
   • One of the most powerful things you can do is to start being more conscious of those urges. A good exercise is to go through the day with a little piece of paper and put a tally mark for each time you get an urge. It simply makes you aware of the urges.
   • Once you have learned to document your urges, you can figure out when to apply your contingency plan. For example, if you notice that your energy flags after 5 PM and you feel like giving up on your exercise regimen, implement your contingency plan: work out in the morning before work instead!
8. Find pleasure again. No one can stick to something for long if they find it unpleasant, and are only rewarded after months of toil. Studies show that there has to be fun, pleasure, joy in it, or you won’t want to do it. Find those pleasurable things — the beauty of a morning run, for example, or the satisfaction in reporting to people that you just finished another step along the way, or the deliciousness of a healthy meal. Live in the moment. Then think about the steps to your future and how you can smooth your dreams in each moment ahead.

Tips

• Find a song that makes you feel good. For example, is there a particular song that makes you feel great about yourself or gives you determination? Listen to a positive song that has meaningful and cheery lyrics. Turn the volume up full blast and sing your heart out then get going again. You can also listen to music as you are running using a portable player.

Related Articles

• Be Self Motivated
• Become Highly Motivated for Your Job
• Get Motivated to Study
• Get Motivated
• Accomplish a Goal

Sources and Citations

See also

• Challenge Negative Self Talk
• Cope With News of a Plane Crash
• Overcome Mental Blocks
• Overcome Biases
• Overcome Feelings of Hopelessness
• Smudge a House
• Stop Being Selfish
• Cope when No One Cares About You
• Stop Self Harming
• Cope with Loss and Pain

Read more ...

What links here

• Be Calm in a Stressful Situation
• Change Yourself
• Motivate Yourself to Work Out
• Improve Motivation
• Motivate a Friend Who Has the Blues
• Overcome Lack of Motivation
• Overcome the Sunday Night Blues
• Use and Improve Your Abilities
• Avoid Confusion in Study and Work