Talk to Girls at a Party

Just a few minutes after you walked into a party, a cute girl -- or even a cute group of girls -- have caught your eye. You want to approach the girls, but you're nervous about butting in or saying the wrong thing. But don't worry -- talking to girls at a party doesn't have to be so hard. If you want to talk to girls at a party, all you have to do is strike up a conversation, keep them interested, and make a graceful exit. If you want to know how to talk to girls at a party, just follow these easy steps.

Steps

Strike Up a Conversation

  1. Get noticed. Before you go up and talk to the girl or group of girls, you should get noticed so you don't catch them completely by surprise when you do approach. This will also make them more excited to talk to you when you do introduce yourself. There are a few things you can so the girls pay attention to you before you strike up a conversation with them.
    • Make eye contact. Lock eyes with the girl and smile before you look away.
    • Stand near the girls, but not so close that it sounds like you're eavesdropping on their conversation.
    • Have positive body language. Keep your hands at your sides or use them to gesture and stand up tall. Look open and ready for a new conversation.
    • Hopefully, you're standing with friends or other people. If you're having a good time the people around you will notice it and will want to join your fun vibe.
  2. Introduce yourself. Once the girl has noticed you, it's time to walk over to her and just simply say hi, and compliment her on something that isn't painstakingly cheesy (like your so pretty). Don't dawdle. You'll look more confident if you head over to her not long after you notice each other instead of hanging around until you've built up enough liquid courage to say anything. Here's how you should introduce yourself:
    • First, pick the right time to swoop in. If the girl is engaged in a really deep or intense conversation with one of her friends, or if the whole group of girls is laughing and having such a great time together that they haven't looked up for hours, you may be interrupting.
    • Once you've found the right time, walk over with your head high. Keep it simple. Strike up a conversation about something that you noticed interesting enough in your surroundings or talk about the event and it's atmosphere. If at a friends party you could ask how they know your friend.
    • You can start with a light compliment. Say, "I like your earrings." (Say something unique to what's she's wearing, instead of telling one of the girls she's beautiful.)
    • Wait for her to say her own name. Tell her it's a beautiful name. If it's a group of girls, you can make them laugh by telling every girl that her name is so unique, or that it's your grandmother's name.
    • Avoid cheesy pick-up lines. Just be yourself. You could purposely use them to bring up a fun vibe if you bring them not all that seriously, though.
    • Bring a wing-man along if you can. This will improve your chances of charming the girls.
    • Notice if you're not wanted. If the girl won't tell you her name, doesn't want to say a word, and rolls her eyes or looks bored, just leave before you try her patience.
  3. Open with a light topic. If the girl is receptive and wants to keep talking to you, once you've moved from the introductions, you can start with some light banter to make the girl more comfortable. This isn't the time to get into a deep discussion about the meaning of life; it's about having fun talking to a new girl at a party.
    • Talk about how you both ended up at the party. If you both know the host pretty well, you can make some light jokes about the host.
    • Talk about where you're from. Maybe this is something you and the girl have in common.
    • Don't start talking about your career, your desires, or future plans. Stick to the present tense for now.
    • Tease the girl. If she's comfortable with you, some light teasing would be a great way to ease into conversation.
  4. Make the girl laugh. The easiest way to strike up a conversation is to make a girl laugh. This will instantly put her at ease and will make her keep talking to you. Making a girl laugh shouldn't be too hard if you're relaxed and comfortable with yourself.
    • Make fun of yourself. This will show the girl that you're comfortable enough to not take yourself too seriously.
    • If a song comes on, try a goofy dance move. If she laughs at you, say, "There's more where this comes from."
    • Make her laugh with your wit. If she makes a funny joke, don't just say "That's funny," but respond with a sharp comment that makes her laugh too.

Keep the Girl Interested

  1. Ask a few questions. Girls love talking about themselves, and asking a girl a few light questions about herself will keep her engaged and will make her see that you're interested in getting to know her. You don't have to give her the fourth degree to ask a few questions that will make her open up more. Here are some great things to ask:
    • Ask if she has any pets. Girls love talking about their pet cats or dogs.
    • Ask about her favorite thing to do for fun. Girls love talking about their passions.
    • Ask her opinion on something small, like a movie you just saw or what she thinks of the music at the party.
    • Don't get too deep. This isn't the time to ask about her career goals, relationship with her parents, or her greatest fears.
  2. Don't dominate the conversation. Women hate it when guys take over the conversation. If you spend the whole time talking, you'll come off like an arrogant narcissist, and the girl will wonder why you approached her if all you needed was a sounding board. Make sure to let the girl talk about the same amount as you, if not more.
    • Be conscious of how much you're talking. Whether you're talking to one girl or a group of girls, you shouldn't be the only one whose voice is heard.
    • If a group of girls is talking about something you don't know about, don't butt in with a made-up opinion. Wait for the conversation to turn to something you can actually contribute to.
    • If you're talking to a group of girls, try to include everyone. Don't make people feel uncomfortable by isolating just one girl from a group and talking to only her. You can do this later, once you get to know everyone better.
  3. Be charismatic. If you're charismatic, the girl will want to talk to you even more, and you'll have her hooked. Being charismatic just means exuding confidence, genuinely caring about people, and being able to get along with a variety of people. Here's how to do it:
    • Be confident. Show that you're happy with who you are and what you do by standing tall and talking positively about everything in your life.
    • Genuinely care. Be a good listener by maintaining strong eye contact and asking questions at the right time.
    • Be versatile. Show that you can talk to not just one girl, but any girl in a group of friends. Charismatic people can charm anyone in a room.
    • Make everyone feel special. Ask questions and make comments that show that you think everyone you talk to is unique and valuable in some way.
  4. Use the party to stir the conversation. If you're running out of things to say, you can use the fact that you're at a party to your own advantage. Look around you and use the other guests and attractions as props for making your conversation with the new girl even better. Here's how to do it:
    • Talk about the other guests. If both you and the girl know a lot of the people at the party, talk about how you know them and for how long.
    • Use the music as a conversational piece. After you ask her whether she likes the music that's playing, ask her about what kind of music she likes in general.
    • If there's food or drinks at the party, ask her if she wants you to get her a drink or some snacks. This will make you look like a gentleman.
    • If people are playing board games or video games, ask the girl if she wants to join in. This is a great and low-pressure way to get to know someone.

Finish Like a Champ

  1. Leave her wanting more. You should say goodbye to the girl on a high note, when the conversation is going great and you feel like you can keep talking to her forever. Though it may seem counter-intuitive to leave the conversation just when things are perfect, this is the best way to make the girl remember you and want to see you again. If you wait until the conversation drags to say goodbye, then the girl won't remember the great conversation you had earlier.
    • Tell the girl that it was great to meet her, but that you have to get going or go talk to another friend across the room. Be genuine when you say this.
    • Give her a light touch on the arm or shoulder to show that you really did have a great conversation.
    • If you're leaving to do something awesome, like play guitar in your band, let her know so she sees that you're a well-rounded person with lots of interests.
  2. If it's going well, ask her out. If you've talked to her for long enough to sense that she may want you, then there's no harm in asking the girl out and taking it to the next level. If you were talking to a girl in a group, then you should isolate her for a little bit first before you make a move. Don't be nervous about it. Remember that you're at a party and that nothing should be taken too seriously.
    • Be casual about it. Just say that you like talking to her and that you'd like to keep getting to know her over dinner or drinks.
    • Say, "I'd really like to keep talking about this, but I have to go. Can I have your number so we can pick this up another day?"
    • If you feel too much pressure here, ask her to go out with a group of your friends or invite her to a different party the next weekend.
  3. If it's not going well, make a graceful exit. You don't want to be that guy who overstayed his welcome, kept talking to a girl who wanted nothing to do with him, or ruined the bonding session of a bunch of girls who were really looking forward to catching up. As soon as you see you're not wanted, you should leave with your dignity intact.
    • Learn to know the signs of not being wanted. If the girl rolls her eyes, keeps looking around, gestures to her friends to ask for help, or only responds in one-word answers, it's time to get going.
    • Don't be awkward. Don't point out that you know the girl doesn't like you or that it's not going well. This will only make things worse.
    • Don't apologize for intruding. Unless you were rude or stayed way too long, you should just politely smile and go on your own way.
    • Leave on a good note. Tell the girl that it was great to talk to her and that you'll see her around.



Tips

  • Read up on books about conversing with people and how to relax and disarm people. It helps to have any arsenal up your sleeve.
  • Never jump in front of someone's face and be the third wheel. The first can be annoying and the second can get you in a whole heap of trouble.
  • Learn to dance. Even if its from simple observation of what others are doing at the party, this can help your chances as a girl wants someone with a firm grasp of what is acceptable because she wants a guy with confidence. If you don't know it, fake it well.
  • Always practice and master the things you need to know. Both dancing with girls and conversation must be practiced. Learn how to start a conversation and the proper way to end one. While it may not sink in right away to the girl in question, it will leave a lasting impression.
  • Learn something extracurricular and learn it really well. Whether it may be guitar, singing, drums, debate, memorizing speeches or monologues, acting, juggling, card tricks, other tricks, or a sport, have something in your back pocket to talk about and show off. It may help to have more than one, but specialize in at least one.

Warnings

  • Do not attempt to get in between the girl and either a girlfriend or an existing boyfriend. If you discover either, its best to admit defeat and bide your time. If she becomes available later, at least saying hi to her got you an intro.
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