Text Your Crush

If you're crushing hard on someone, it's fun to chat via text. Starting good text conversations and learning proper texting etiquette will help keep their interest and give you a whole new opportunity to flex your flirtation skills. You can learn how to get your crush's number, start conversations, and keep it flirty with wikiHow. See Step 1 for more information.

Steps

Getting Your Crush's Number

  1. Start a conversation. If you want to text with someone you're crushing on, it's usually better to get to know them a bit in real life first. If it's someone you've noticed from afar or someone you're already friends with, lay the groundwork for conversing via text by starting a real-life conversation and getting their number to continue talking later. Approach them comfortably and casually and start a conversation.
  2. Introduce yourself. Make sure the person you're talking to knows your name and who you are. It's important to avoid coming off like a creep, so put the person at ease by starting a conversation with an intro: "Hey, I'm Steve. We've got bio together, I think?"
  3. Observe common ground. Find something that you've got in common to talk about to start conversation. Common classes, recent sports events, or even the weather are all common conversation starters. This will put the person at ease and help conversation flow normally: "What did you think of that movie we had to watch last week in Mr. Smith's class?"
    • Ask lots of questions to put them at ease and make the conversation flow smoothly. You'll make it easier on the person you're engaging with to ask questions. Just don't make it seem like you're interrogating them.
    • Judge their interest in the conversation and use good listening skills to show that you're interested in them and what they have to say: "What are your summer plans?" or "What are you thinking of studying in college?" Always make them open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing.
    • Follow their lead. Pay attention to the person's cues and put them at ease. If Mr. Smith is your favorite teacher but your crush says, "Ugh. I hate that class. He's such a dork!" bring up that time Smith spelled "pencil" wrong on the board or the time he spilled his coffee. He'll forgive you.
  4. Crack some jokes. Show your sense of humor to make the conversation fun and make them want more. Avoid dour subjects and Debbie Downer moments: "School is boring. Can you keep a secret? I'm organizing a jailbreak. I just need to find a pole vaulter with math skills and a stuffed rhino. What do you say? You in?"
  5. Just ask. When the conversation is flowing smoothly and you're having a good time, ask to exchange numbers. It doesn't need to be a big deal, so don't treat it like one: "Hey, you want to exchange numbers? I like talking to you but I've got to get going." When you exchange numbers, keep the door open: "Text me sometime. You're cool."
    • Don't ask if the conversation dies or your crush seems uninterested. Don't put them in an awkward position in which they'll have to say no. Keep it casual and wait for a more natural conversation and a more comfortable moment. It shouldn't be a big deal.
    • If they say no, back off immediately. Don't press or try to give them your number as a consolation.
  6. Wait for a situation that will make it seem necessary to exchange numbers. If you're shy and intimidated by the idea of approaching your crush and starting an analog conversation, consider waiting for a situation in which it would be less awkward to ask for their number for practical reasons.
    • Ask to exchange numbers for homework purposes: "Hey, I'm gonna miss class next week and I don't want to fall back. Could you help me out? You could just text me to make it easy."
    • Ask to exchange numbers to organize rides for sports or school: "I could give you a ride after the game. You can text me to let me know, either way."
    • Exchange numbers during group projects: "Let's all exchange number so we can talk about the project this weekend."
  7. Get the number elsewhere. Different people have different definitions of privacy when it comes to their phone. Some give it out regularly and freely and text with acquaintances, while some take the phone number very seriously and only let a few select people have it. If your crush has posted their number on their Facebook page, or wouldn't be offended if you got it from a mutual friend, you could take it from there to text them. Use caution, be tactful, and follow their lead always.
    • Getting someone's phone number from a mutual friend or from Facebook is much less desirable than asking them upfront. It can seem creepy, even if they've posted it publicly.
    • Make sure you have a good reason to text if you've gotten their number without them knowing directly: "Hey Mike, it's Jill! Sorry to bother you, but Steve gave me your number because I just had to ask about this math problem. It's driving me crazy."

Having a Text Conversation

  1. Ask questions and gauge their interest. If you want to start texting your crush, come up with some good reasons to talk and some good conversation topics to stimulate a text exchange, just as you would when you're starting a conversation in real life. Always keep it fun and light and text at the right times. Some text starters:
    • "What are you up to? I'm really aggressively procrastinating."
    • "Whoa, have you started reading for English yet? Brace yourself."
    • "Man, I don't know what to think about colleges. Are you nervous yet?"
    • "Dude, did you see Mark today? He looked like a hippie toad."
    • "Hey this is weird, but what's a dashiki?"
  2. Give them something to respond to. A good text conversation means you've got to give them something to work with, too. Just asking questions will make them feel like they're being interrogated (creepy), especially if you respond with "Oh" or "lol". Vary your responses creatively and give them something else to respond to.
    • "You did?? That's awesome! Are you excited?"
    • "No way. What happened next?"
    • "Wow. You're the coolest. It's official."
  3. Make it unique. "Hey what's up" and "what are you doing today?" will probably be texted between you at some point, but try to vary the content of your messages to keep it fresh and interesting. If you're trying to catch the eye and the attention of your crush with your words, make them stand out. Make them unique. Make them funny, exciting, mysterious, and attention-grabbing.
    • If you're wondering what they're up to, make a wildly incorrect guess: "You're watching Pee-Wee Herman re-runs again, aren't you?"
  4. Be friendly. When you're texting, you have to control your tone and make sure that your exchanges appear light and won't be interpreted any other way than what you mean. Texting "where are you" or "what are you doing" comes off a lot creepier than "Hey if you're still at school, I was thinking about going to the donut shop after I finish practice. Wanna come?"
    • Before you send each text, take a second to read back over it for typos and other mistakes that might give the person the wrong impression.
  5. Avoid the "hey" trap. Many texters, especially boys, have problems with closed-off and dull text habits. Make funny observations, tell stories, and ask open-ended questions if you want to have a text conversation.
    • Never try to start a text conversation with "Hey." It gives the other person nothing to respond to, nothing to say, and suggests that you're a boring person, or--worse--that you're just wasting your crush's time. Say something with substance and have a real conversation.
    • Even if you're just texting because you want to talk, give them something to respond to: "OMG I'm so bored at this basketball game. My brother plays bench. Also it smells like sweaty mustard in this gym. Gross."
  6. Be the one to end the conversation. Keep them wanting more. If you're the one that starts the conversation, go out on a high note and end it: "haha, well good. I gotta get back to this, ttyl?" If they want to keep talking, take it as a sign you've done some good text-flirting and kept your crush interested.
    • This will give your crush the impression that you're thinking about them often, but not obsessing. You took a few minutes out of another activity to make conversation with them, but you didn't overstay your text welcome or just text them out of boredom.
  7. Recognize if your crush is uninterested. Over texting should be avoided at all costs. Pay close attention to their responsiveness and let dead conversations die. If someone texts "lol" and nothing more you don't have to try to reinvigorate it with, "So…this rain sure is annoying, huh?" That's annoying. Just leave them alone and wait for another opportunity to talk.
    • If you're doing a good job writing engaging texts and they're still not responding, you can probably take this as a sign that they're not that interested. Both boys and girls will make special effort to talk to people at length that they like, even if the convo is less than fascinating. So, if you've been your charming lovable self and it isn't working out, know to walk away.
    • Learn to recognize long term disinterestedness. If you're texting them twice a day and they're not responding more than a word or two twenty minutes after you sent the message, you should stop texting them and trying to start conversations. If they never initiate text conversations, you should probably take it as a sign they're not interested in talking more.

Being Flirtatious

  1. Be complimentary. Texts that compliment are almost always warmly received. If you want to get flirty with your crush, starting with a compliment is always a pretty safe bet: "You were so awesome in the play. So. Awesome."
  2. Be playful. Express your more-than-a-friend interest in your crush by being playful and teasing them in a fun and polite way: "I mean, I'm not really sure what happened in the play because I had trouble paying attention to anyone else. You were great though. Like a young Marty Feldman from the Frankenstein movie but, you know, like way hotter and stuff : )"
  3. Be yourself. Be honest and relax when you're texting. Don't try too hard to be funny and attract their attention, but be honest and express genuine emotions that will let them know who you are and where you're coming from.
    • Boys don't need to be aloof and act like they're uninterested during texts. If you like someone, show it. Be honest and open with your crush to let them know you're a genuine and complicated person, not a "player."
    • Girls don't need to be cutesy or play dumb in text messages. Overusing omg's and lol's may seem like a shortcut to your crush's heart, but it may be a bit of a turnoff for some. Be real and be serious sometimes too.[1]
  4. Keep it light. Text messages aren't the best format for having serious conversations or hash-out emotional turmoil. If you want to have a text-talk, keep it light and keep it brief. If it ventures into more serious territory, talk on the phone or Skype to make it more personal, or--better yet--wait until you've got some face time to be really genuine.
    • It's too awkward to try to have mushy or heavy conversations via text message. If you think things might be getting serious between the two of you, don't risk a misinterpretation of an "I like you text" and declare your undying love for someone who's just being casual and saying they like your sense of humor. Wait for face-to-face time to have "the talk."[2]
  5. Use shorthand and emoticons sparingly. Using ":P" faces and "I <3 you" texts on a regular basis is a fine way to color your messages and use the format to its fullest potential, but it can also get a little ridiculous. It's always better to spell out full words and use as much punctuation as possible.
    • Some emoticons are difficult to interpret, especially for those who might be less familiar with texting. It might be easier to text back a smiley face if someone texts you something complimentary, but it also doesn't really give them anything to say back. Be conversational.
    • "U" and "ur" in particular look especially childish and not serious. Remove them from your texting repertoire.
  6. Maintain texting boundaries. Learn your crush's texting style and frequency and stay within the boundaries of your texting relationship. Don't text your crush in class or when they're busy doing other things and risk getting them in trouble.
    • Don't text too much. They're nothing flirtatious about bugging someone fifty times a day. Save it for the real world. If they're big texters, let them decide when and how much is appropriate.
    • If the flirting takes a dirty turn, use restraint and stay polite. Never send unsolicited picture messages or unsolicited dirty texts.

Warnings

  • Don't throw yourself at him/her. They would feel very aggravated and slightly awkward talking with you.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://love.allwomenstalk.com/text-flirting-ideas-to-try-today
  2. ↑ http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-02-07/5-dangers-of-flirty-texting/

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