Toughen Up
The toughest among us are those who persevere in the face of obstacles, lead others through dangerous situations and stand tall when people cut them down. If you want to be tough, you'll need to put in the hard work and effort it takes to hone your best qualities and beat your negativity. Building confidence, getting physically strong, and learning to fight for your beliefs are all central to toughening up. Read on to learn more about getting tougher.
Contents
Steps
Toughening Up Mentally
- Stay steady under pressure. One of the most important qualities a tough person can have is the ability to stay strong when things get rough. Breaking down, flipping out or otherwise letting your emotions get the better of you won't help you or anyone around you when the world seems to be crashing down. Figure out what you need to do to stay relaxed in an emergency or when you're under threat. Practice as often as possible so your tough mental state becomes second nature.
- Next time you face a difficult situation, consciously pause, stay silent and count to 10 before you react. Take the time to think through the best course of action. Remind yourself that you are strong and you have the presence of mind to face the situation head on.
- If someone is bullying or otherwise bothering you, think before you speak. Stay calm and assess the situation instead of running away or lashing out.
- You can practice meditation as a way to understand what it feels like to stay focused and calm no matter what outside distractions occur.
- Let go of things that don't matter. Dwelling on minutia will sap your strength and make you weaker. If you want to be tough, learn how to let go of trivial stuff that isn't worth your time or brainpower. Save your energy for issues and situations that require your utmost attention and concentration.
- Don't get caught up in drama. Try to interact with other people as straightforwardly as possible and inspire the same in others.
- Don't get easily offended by offhanded remarks or actions designed to annoy you. These things don't matter in the long run.
- Don't get tripped up by worrying. Worrying doesn't accomplish anything except making you feel mentally tired. Deal with problems head-on so you won't have to waste time dwelling on them.
- Cast self-doubt aside. If you have low confidence, it's going to be hard to make the tough decisions in life, because you'll doubt you're making the right choice. Start making smart, informed choices that you believe in and can back up. Once you take a certain path, stick to it with the confidence that you're taking the right course. Waffling, backing down, and being wishy-washy are signs you aren't mentally tough.
- Build confidence by knowing and honing your strengths and working on improving your weak spots. Everyone has room for improvement in certain areas; the difference between those who are tough and those who aren't is that the tough ones are always striving to get better. For example, if you have a propensity for telling white lies to ease your way through life, put in the work to stop your self-destructive behavior.
- Eliminate the activities that make you less confident. You can't make informed, smart, reasoned choices in life if you're hindered by behaviors that skew your reality and make you doubt yourself. That means you've got to overcome bad habits like drinking too much alcohol, using drugs, gambling, and any other behaviors that make it harder to clearly see right from wrong.
- Set goals and follow through with them. Are you all talk and no action? Anyone can hold forth about things they want to accomplish, but it's a different matter entirely to set goals and work toward achieving them. Working toward a goal can be monotonous, painful, and yes, tough. The more you practice getting things done, the more likely you'll be to do it again.
- Decide to be resilient. If you take up a new exercise, start a new job, or decide you're going to apply to an educational program, figure out what steps you need to take to succeed, then stick to them.
- Take things a day at a time. Being tough enough to achieve big goals means being patient in the meantime. Break a big task into smaller steps, perform each one to the best of your ability, and steadily work toward the prize.
- Bounce back from failures. Even the strongest among us fail sometimes. Knowing how to pick yourself back up when you fall is absolutely key to toughening up. Each time you fail at something, analyze what went wrong and what you can do differently next time. Plot a new strategy for accomplishing your goal and pursue it again with confidence.
- Own up to your mistakes. Don't make excuses or place blame elsewhere.
- Don't be too hard on yourself. You'll weaken yourself if you dwell too much on how you were responsible for what happened. Have confidence that you'll be able to make things right.
- Be positive about your future. Face life's hurdles with an optimistic attitude, rather than a defeatist one. If you believe your life has meaning and you have the ability to overcome challenges, you'll be much more able to handle tough situations, stay resilient when things get hard, and try again when failure happens.
- It helps to have a sense of humor. Be able to see the lighter side of situations instead of always focusing on the serious parts of life.
- Inspire optimism in others, too. Be a positive force in other people's lives. Part of being tough is helping other people get through life's difficult times as well.
Toughening Up Physically
- Get in top physical shape. Becoming physically tough takes a lot of ongoing, dedicated work. Your focus should be two-pronged: you want to build strong muscles as well as working on your endurance. Set goals for yourself and make physical training a regular part of your routine. When you've accomplished one set of goals, make new ones, always striving to get in the best shape you possibly can.
- Do cardio exercises. Run, bike, or swim several times a week. Once you can go a certain distance, aim to go further. Sign up for marathons and triathlons to push yourself to achieve more.
- Get into a weight-lifting routine. Work all of the muscle groups in your body. As you improve, push yourself to lift more weight and do more reps.
- Sign up for a team sport if you have the time. This will give you the incentive to work even harder to stay physically fit.
- Eat well to keep your body strong. Eat whole foods like fruits and vegetables, lean meats and fish, nuts and legumes, and whole grains. Avoid fast food, packaged food, and empty calories.
- Get plenty of sleep. Your body needs time to repair after tough workouts, and sleep keeps you both mentally and physically strong.
- Eliminate as many toxins from your diet and lifestyle as possible. Don't use drugs and limit your alcohol intake.
- Train to win, not just survive. This approach to fitness is the one taken by the US Marines. Anyone can get in good shape, but to be physically tough your aim should be to get strong enough to be the very best. Train to win competitions, not just qualify for participation.
- Sign up for competitions so you can track your progress. Your goal should be to be in the top 10% of any given group of athletes, so that you have a shot at winning.
- You can still train to win even if you're nowhere near the top as of yet. Aim to beat your personal best each time you compete.
- Push through pain. There's no way to be at your physical best without experiencing pain. Training this hard hurts, both during workout sessions and afterward, when your muscles are sore. When you're physically tough, you're able to tolerate the pain that comes with breaking down your muscles so they can build up bigger and stronger. You know your efforts will pay off in the end.
- When you're working out, go all in. Go further, faster and harder than you think you can. Put in an extra 10 minutes when you think you're finished.
- Don't hurt yourself. Make sure you understand the line between pain and injury. Work with a personal trainer if you're new to intense physical training.
- Do it again the next day. Getting physically tough isn't going to happen if you only train every once in a while. You've got to get out there day after day, week after week, and year after year to keep your body in tip top shape. Pick yourself up and go to your training session even when you're tired, sore and just not feeling it.
- Learn to Survive. You might have strong muscles and great endurance, but what would you do if a bear attacked, or you got caught in a snowstorm? Toughening up means reacting correctly in a variety of physical situations. Learn about survival techniques that will enable you to be tough when you're faced with danger or extreme weather.
- Learn how to handle an animal attack. Know the proper way to save yourself from sharks, bears, dogs, and other wild animals.
- Learn how to survive extreme weather. Snowstorms, dust and sand storms, extreme heat, and extreme cold all require you to exhibit physical prowess.
- Learn how to survive on your own in the wild. Know how to make shelter for yourself, get food and water, and find your way back to civilization if necessary.
- Learn how to fight. Whether you're faced with someone trying to mug you on the street or you're standing up for someone who is being bullied, fighting skills will eventually come in handy. Learn the right way to throw a punch or defend yourself from one.
- Part of learning how to fight is learning when to fight. You should try to diffuse a situation using other tactics first.
- Martial arts training is a great way to learn important fighting skills while also understanding the proper mentality to have about fighting. One of the best ways to do so is taekwondo.
Acting Tough
- Don't complain. If you want people to think you're tough, do your best to stay positive and face difficult situations without complaining. Complaining is a waste of time and makes you sound whiny and ineffective. Act like the strong, purposeful, confident person you are. You'll inspire others to want to be more like you.
- If you need to let off steam (we all do sometimes), do it privately. Write your thoughts down or channel your pent up energy in a positive way, like through working out.
- Sharing negative feelings isn't the same as complaining. You don't have to constantly act like nothing is wrong, or avoid saying what's on your mind; just try not to whine.
- Have control over your emotions. You probably know people who seem to surround themselves with drama, and others who get explosively angry at the drop of a hat. Being reckless with emotions can be a big burden for other people. Take the tougher approach of handling your emotions in such a way that you don't end up negatively affecting others. Find ways to express yourself constructively.
- This is not the same as bottling up your emotions, which can have a very bad effect over time. It's completely fine to express sadness, joy, embarrassment, anger, and so on as long as you do it in a way that isn't difficult for others to bear.
- Don't mistake emotionless behavior for tough behavior. It's not tough to pretend that you don't have feelings at all. It's tougher to be honest with yourself and acknowledge your emotional pain or happiness, and be brave enough to share it with others.
- Face reality. Think about what you're running away from or avoiding, and make the effort to face it head-on instead. It's easier to let yourself turn to escapist habits like watching too much TV or going out every night than it is to boldly deal with problems and negative situations. Tough people deal. The ability to do this will allow you to become much more successful in life instead of being held back by bad habits.
- Think hard about what you might be avoiding in your own life. Is there a personal failing you're ignoring? A family member who needs your help? A wrong that you could help to right?
- Try getting away from distractions for awhile to clear your head and correct your focus. Turn off the TV and put away your phone and computer for a few days.
- Volunteer to do things that scare you. You'll never toughen up if you stick to activities you've already mastered. Getting tougher requires learning new things, becoming more well-rounded. Practice going out of your way to try new activities and be open to experiences you might naturally tend to avoid.
- What terrifies you? Decide you're going to overcome your fear. If you hate public speaking, make a speech at your friend's wedding. If you're afraid of water, take swimming lessons.
- Be strong for others. Tough people take care of others when they are in need. It's a lot harder to take other people into consideration than it is to act solely for your own good. Be strong for your family and friends when they need someone to turn to. If you see a stranger in need of help, offer it. When you're in a group situation, be the one to volunteer to help.
- Make sure your family is well cared for. Be reliable and responsible so they know they can count you on.
- Step up and be the leader when a leader is called for. For example, if you're in a building and the fire alarm goes off, be the one to help calm people down and get them to safety instead of running away to fend for yourself.
- Fight for what you believe in. The very toughest people stay strong in the face of hardship, danger, and criticism, which may be the most difficult obstacle of all. Being tough means knowing what you believe in and standing up for it. You might even have to fight for it sometimes. Don't back down, and don't give up.
Tips
- Find a tough role model. What qualities make him or her tough? Emulate these to get tougher.
