Act Like One of the Guys

There’s a number of reasons you may want to hang out with a group of guys. Maybe you have a crush on one of the guys in the group, or maybe you just want to expand your horizons by adding a group of guys to your circle of friends. Either way, you’ll have to learn how to fit in. Bonding with men can be challenging but it can also be a lot of fun.

Steps

Talking to Guys

  1. Find out what they’re into. Learn about the things the guys in your group bond over. Do they have long conversations about the horsepower of their favorite cars? Do they spend hours reciting the statistics of their favorite football team? To join the conversation, you’ll need to have a deep understanding of what they’re talking about.
    • Guys may express their friendship by quoting their favorite movies.[1] Watch the movies your group likes so you know what to say back.
    • Guys gossip about their interests, be knowledgeable enough to join in.
  2. Match their sense of humor. Humor is subjective. One person may find a joke hilarious while another person may find it juvenile or offensive. Some people are offended by everything, and will be triggered. Guys who hang out together tend to be amused by the same things. The guys will think it’s really cool that you can make them laugh.[2]
    • Try not be offended if the guys have a crude sense of humor. Learn to appreciate their grossness and remember that it’s all in good fun.
  3. Grow thick skin. When guys hang out, they rip on each other (in more ways than one ;)). If you’re seen as one of the guys, they’ll tease you quite a bit. Guys love trying to get a rise out of each other. Show them you can take the heat. Just laugh it off.
    • See if you can dish out the pain. Try to rip on them as bad as they rip on you.
    • There’s a fine line between teasing and bullying. They should never cause you physical harm or make unwanted sexual remarks toward you. If you feel like they’ve gone too far, it’s okay to be upset or leave.
  4. Be straightforward. When you argue with guys, tell them exactly what bothers you. If they ask for your opinion on something, tell them exactly what you think. When you have something to say, get to the point. Men are brutally honest because they care and they hate to beat around the bush.[3]
    • If you have a crush on one of the guys, don’t be offended if he has opinions about you that are hard to swallow. Guys are more worried about helping you improve long-term than they are about your feelings.
    • Remember, just because they’re honest doesn’t mean they’re right. Trust your own intuition.

Hanging out with Guys

  1. Get good at guy stuff. If the guys play basketball, learn to play well enough to join them on the court. If they like working out, get as strong as you can. If they love playing video games, start playing the games that they're into. Guys take pride in their hobbies. Work to get better at whatever it is you do with the guys.
    • Remember to have fun. Don’t be too obsessed with being the best.
  2. Be low maintenance. Guys get irritated if it takes you two hours to get ready to do anything. Men like to get up and go. Don’t be too picky either. Guys get agitated if you have to have everything your way.[4]
    • Make decisions quickly. Guys don’t want to wait to eat because you can’t decide what to order.
    • If you like one of the boys, you especially want to show him you’re low maintenance. Guys can find dating high maintenance girls exhausting.
  3. Be adventurous. Show the guys you’re down to experience new things. Guys love adrenaline. A rush of adrenaline releases dopamine which makes you feel good. The feeling is amplified when you experience it in a group.[5]
    • Don’t be afraid if the guys invite you to go skydiving or to ride a huge roller coaster.
    • Use your better judgement. If something really does make you feel unsafe, it’s okay to decline the invitation.
  4. Plan ahead. Men like to have everything ready in advance. Show the guys they can count on you to cover all your bases. Organize all your supplies before you go camping or on a road trip. Talk to the guys to see what you should bring to every event. If it’s your job to bring snacks to a party, prepare them the day before so you’re not scrambling.
    • If you’re travelling by plane, have your boarding pass handy so you’re not digging through your purse in line.

Earning their Respect

  1. Compete with the guys. Testosterone will drive a man to compete at almost anything.[6] Men develop self-respect as well as respect for others through competition.[7] Men love to challenge themselves to perform at their peak, and they admire others who do the same
    • Whether you’re playing a pool tournament with the guys or seeing who can hit a tree with a rock, always give it your best effort.
    • It’s not about winning. Your goal should be to perform to the best of your ability.
  2. Be yourself. Don’t try to impress the group by pretending to be someone else. They’ll eventually see through your facade. Be confident enough to share your unique personality.
    • Sincerely learn to connect with your new friends.
  3. Be in the moment. Show the guys you can let go of your worries and enjoy hanging out with them.[8] If you’re focused on the things that bother you, people will pick up on it. Focus on having a good time.
    • You can confide in your guy friends if something really is bringing you down, but be sure to do it at the right place and time. Wait until you're alone with the guys in a private setting like one their homes. Don't try to tell them you're problems at a party or any other social event.
  4. Be understanding. Guys don’t like girls who are too judgemental. Don’t focus on what you don’t like about people or how you disagree with their lifestyle. If you judge other people, the guys will know you’ll judge them. Everyone has their own personal values, and if you impose yours on other people, you’ll kill everyone’s buzz.
    • Be cool to everyone. Don’t act like you’re better than people.
    • If you like one of the boys, show him that you’d be a fun, accepting girlfriend.
    • If someone makes you feel threatened, follow your instinct and get away from them.

Tips

  • You don’t have to lose your girlfriends. You can have multiple groups of friends.
  • When you’re ripping on the guys, don’t go too low. Some topics are off limits. Men can get very offended when you make fun of how much money they make or their relationship problems. If you know one of the guys is touchy about a certain issue, don't bring it up.
  • Don’t try too hard. You want to be friends with the guys, not their assistant.

Warnings

  • Don’t let the guys peer pressure you into anything you don’t feel comfortable with.
  • Don’t act too much like a guy of you want a relationship with one of the men in the group. If your crush sees you as nothing more than one of the guys, you could end up in the friend zone.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://espn.go.com/page2/movies/s/mckendry/020828.html
  2. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-and-why-humor-differs-between-the-sexes/
  3. ↑ http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/advice/a1334/10-things-men-wish-women-knew-about-them-103922/
  4. ↑ http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/six-low maintenance-traits_b_7930188.html
  5. ↑ http://www.thepacer.net/fear-why-we-enjoy-the-adrenaline-rush/
  6. ↑ http://m.livescience.com/11119-men-apes-competing-status.html
  7. ↑ http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-men-need-to-compete-dtv/
  8. ↑ http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200811/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment
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