Be Gloomy

Some people are naturally happy and chipper people, while others are melancholy and gloomy. No matter your personality, it’s best to embrace your natural disposition. Being gloomy does not mean anything’s wrong with you. Try to feel natural and comfortable as a gloomy person by seeking out activities that foster your sense of gloominess. If your gloominess has become depression, don’t be afraid to get help.

Steps

Finding Gloomy Things to Do

1. Keep to yourself. Try not to talk to much to others. Practice listening instead of sharing your thoughts and feelings with a lot of people. Instead, talk only to those closest to you.
   • Stay quiet. If you have to respond, talk as little as possible. Try to observe the "one sentence rule" where you speak.
   • Listen while others are talking. Pay attention to what they say and nod. This will encourage them to talk more while you can talk less.
   • Share your feelings and emotions with those closest to you. Avoid oversharing with those you don't know well. Don't be afraid to open up to those close to you.
2. Sound gloomy while speaking. Try to sound minimally interested in anything anybody's saying. Speak in a monotone voice and never get excited about anything.
   • Avoid getting excited about what's being said. When you're listening to others, temper your response. This way, no one can tell if you care at all, but are instead just constantly gloomy.
   • Speak in a monotone. Make sure your voice has little to no inflection. This will make it clear that you are gloomy and you don't care.
   • Keep your body language closed off and avoid eye contact. Do not show that you care at all about other people besides yourself.
3. Find music that suits your mood. Listen to dark or depressing music. Look into bands that express your dark soul. Genres like heavy metal, gloomy pop, or punk rock can be very gloomy. Even country music can be gloomy sometimes.
   • Listen to music in a minor key. Anything that sounds too happy can disrupt your gloomy mood.
   • Look for bands that dress or act gloomily. Watch interviews or live concerts online to see how they act or appear when performing.
   • Investigate bands that other bands admire. You may find that your favorite depressing band has a number of interesting influences. There may be a lot of gloomy music out there for you to listen to.
4. Journal about your feelings. It can be helpful to get your thoughts down and can be a useful spark to creativity. If you journal everyday and focus on your emotional response to things, you may be able to create art from your writing.
   • Write in your journal every day. Try to write about the worse things that happen everyday. Focus on the most negative events of daily life.
   • Focus on your feelings when writing. Mention how each event in your life makes you feel. Staying focused on your responses only can help you to stay gloomy.
   • See if you can use anything from journaling for a creative project. Don't let your gloomy thoughts go to waste. Instead, see if you can use that gloominess to spark a creative project.
5. Be creative. Explore the ways you can use your gloominess to fuel your creativity. Not all gloomy people are creative, but creativity can be a great way to express your emotions.
   • Sadness makes us more focus better and be more attentive to detail. Use your gloominess to make you focus on what you’re doing and ways you can to do it better.
   • Being gloomy can also make us less likely to follow rules. The best art is created when artists refuse to follow rules.
   • Try out different art forms. Write, draw, paint, sculpt, and play music. See which one's right for you.
6. Appreciate dark or gloomy art. There is plenty of art that may appeal to your gloomy side. Try watching films and reading books that emphasize the gloomy side of life.
   • Know that melancholy or gloomy works of art have a harmony that we respond to. It is based in mature reflection and can draw out more complex emotions from us than happier works of art.
   • Watch gloomy or gothic films. Tim Burton is a film director that many who enjoy gloomy art respond to. Be depressed while you watch these films and think about how dark life is.
   • Try out gothic horror films. If you like the darker emotions, than horror films may be for you.
   • Read gothic or gloomy writers. Edgar Allan Poe is often a favorite writer for those who prefer gloomy art.
7. Find friends who have similar interests or personality. Being around other gloomy people can show you that you're not weird. Be careful to not let your gloominess become too negative and harmful to your health.
   • Join groups or clubs of people with similar gloomy interests. Consider some of the gloomy art that you respond to. Maybe even start a club yourself.
   • Don’t try to cheer each other up. Instead, try to affirm the feelings of other people as legitimate.
   • Be aware of the dangers of being around gloomy people. It can sometimes encourage negative thinking that can lead to illness.

Feeling Comfortable Being Gloomy

1. Embrace being gloomy. It’s easy to focus on how your gloominess cuts you off from others. Enjoy what being a gloomy person offers you, such as a different perspective on life that can make your life richer and deeper.
   • Focus on the things that make you feel fulfilled. Do things that you enjoy about being gloomy. Don't worry about what other people may like.
   • See the beauty in darker things. Happy things are not the only things that are beautiful.
   • Pay attention to your emotions. Follow where your emotions lead you. However, don't be unsafe if you're feeling particularly down.
2. Feel the power of gloominess. Being gloomy means that you focus on the darker emotions. Anger, sadness, and jealousy can be powerful darker emotions. Instead of getting upset about these gloomy emotions, think about how experiencing them makes you special or unique.
   • Learn about the history of gloominess. You can gain strength through knowing more about how gloominess has contributed to human history.
   • Gloomy people can be more creative. They often experience the full range of human emotions and use them to spark creativity.
   • Consider how being gloomy affects your life in positive ways. Being gloomy can make someone a deeper and more complex person.
   • Realize that being gloomy often makes you more realistic. Gloomy people see reality more clearly instead of being positive all the time.
3. Don’t let others' happiness make you feel bad. Just because other people are happier does not mean their lives are better. Don’t feel pressured to be happy just because other people are.
   • Being happy is not as good as knowing yourself well and being fulfilled. Focus on the things that make you feel enriched rather than comfortable.
   • The demand to be happy can cause unhappiness and even mental illness. Don’t let the expectation to be happy make you sick.
   • People's focus on happiness can make them unhappy. If you see positive people struggling, talk to them. Maybe you can help them out with your gloomy knowledge.

Dealing with Gloominess

1. Stay active during difficult times. Gloominess is not the same thing as depression, but they can be linked to each another. Make sure you're staying in touch with other people and doing things. However, don't try to be positive if it doesn't feel natural.
   • Don’t isolate yourself from others. If you are feeling particularly down, it helps to talk to other people.
   • Stay busy with productive activities. Don’t sit around too much thinking about your feelings, but instead do things that make you feel fulfilled.
2. Don’t feel pressured by positivity. Negative emotions or gloominess make people uncomfortable. People may try to “cheer you up”. While they may mean well, don’t let their positivity make you feel pressure to “act” like you feel better.
   • Embrace uncertainty. Don’t worry about controlling everything in your life. People who are worried about being positive are often trying to control their lives too much.
   • Positive thinking comes from labeling things that happens as good and bad. Avoid this trap by just taking things as they come without trying to always put a positive spin on everything.
   • Thank people for trying to make you feel better. Even if their help is misguided, they are concerned about you.
3. Get help if you need it. Sometimes, you may be not just gloomy, but actually depressed. If you need outside help, don’t feel ashamed to admit it. It does not mean that you’ll become a person obsessed with happiness and positivity.
   • Talk to a friend. Let others know that you’re struggling. They will want to help you out.
   • Seek out professional treatment. It may be good to see a therapist if you’re feeling especially bad. There’s no reason to not get help if you need it.
   • Stay true to yourself. Don’t try to become a relentlessly positive person if you’re not one. Being gloomy is a good idea if it’s true to who you are as long as you stay healthy.
   • Know that being mentally healthy and being gloomy are not exclusive. You can be a healthy person who is gloomy. There’s no total link between gloominess and mental illness.

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Sources and Citations

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